1. UNIT III
ASSERTIVE TRAINING:having or showing a confident and forceful personality.
Assertiveness may be defined as open and flexible genuinely concerned with the sights of others, yet at the same time able to establish very well his own rights. Behaviour may be classified as
1. Non-assertive (self-assured): Non-assertive is submissive, or denying ( refuses to admit )one’s own right is in the light of others domination. Here, the person is not acknowledging his own rights. He himself denies his rights and develop apprehension about exercising his own right.
2. Aggressive ready or likely to attack
It refers to denying the rights of others. Here the person encroaches to the other person’s self and life space.
3. Assertive: Here the person acknowledges his own as well other’s right. Here, the person clearly differentiates himself from others by not only claiming his rights, but also accepts that others too have their own rights like him.

2. The design of an assertiveness training programme must be geared to the needs of the target population. A programme must include:
1. The basic theory and philosophy of assertiveness training.
2. Recognition of non-assertion, indirect aggression and assertion in one self and others.
3. Identification of personal assertiveness training needs.
4. Rehearsal and role play of assertiveness skills in the areas of personal needs.
ASSERTIVE WRITING:
Business executives are called upon to use writing skills every day. Each time you write a letter, memo, or report others are making judgements about you on the basis of what they read on paper. Mastering good writing skills can help you get what you want.
Assertive writing, like assertive speaking, is clear, open, hones and to the point.

3. Preparing for Business writing:
These are some tips for moving past your fear of writing and getting into the first draft.
Get all the ideas and thoughts onto paper first, even if they seem jumbled.
Don’t write in final order. If you’ve got the fifth paragraph clear in your mind and hung up on the first, start with the fifth. You can move it later.
Use wide spacing between lines and wide margins so you can add copy, make notes to yourself and reorganize the material.
Don’t shop to search for the perfect word. Don’t pause to fix grammar. Go back and do it later.
Tools for good writing
The dictionary is the business writer’s most important tool. It will give you the correct grammatical sense so you don’t use the word incorrectly.

4. Quoted material can add interest to your writing if it is chosen appropriately.
Another important tool of business writing is your own ability to exercise quality control.
The next thing you can do is circulate examples of good writing and explain why it is good.
Remember to praise good results and to demonstrate the value of editing by always going over your work and making changes.
Tips for writing efficiently:
1. Do your research first. There are three reasons to gather your information before you begin to write first. First your actual writing time will be shorter and the task will seem less awesome. Second when you have all the facts and statistics laid before you, the whole picture will be clearer. Finally the writing itself will proceed more smoothly. If you keep taking time out to search for a fact, you will lose your train of thought.

5. Outline your piece of writing
Outline your piece of writing. Begin with what you want the reader to know or do after reading it. Then list three or four supportive points. Try to imagine the person who will be sitting down to read your work. Draw up the reader’s objections, the specific facts he or she will need and figure out what you can say that will make your reader pay attention to you.
Keep it simple. Spend less time trying to be clever or unusual and more time making your writing as clear and straightforward as possible.
Check your work. The more you practice the art of careful writing and reviewing, the more automatic good writing will become.
Pitfalls to effective writing:
Writing gets to be confused when it says too much or says the same thing twice. You may think that saying more about a subject will make it clearer. On the contrary, it’s the simple statement that’s easiest to interpret.

6. PERSUASION
To write persuasively, you must know what it is you want and must organize your letter around the goal. You’ll be using sales techniques: subtle manipulation will help. Think through what would make the reader do, believe or buy what you want.
Use the 4-P formula: picture, promise, prove and then push. You are probably familiar with the first three. Describe what you are offering, explain how it will help, and give data and statistics to support your claims. Then what? Say something friendly and sign your name?The fourth P is a key element in getting what your want. Push: tell the reader exactly to do. An influential closing can go far towards getting the results you want.
WHEN TO SAY YES
It’s fun to be able to say yes to someone A “yes” letter is easier to write and more pleasant to receive than a refusal. Keep these points in mind to help your ‘yes’ letters enhance your reader’s impression of you.

7. Say yes quickly. If you know you’re going to say yes, don’t leave the letter sitting in the file for a week. You’ll keep the recipient in the dark for that week. A brief note is better than a delayed masterpiece.
A “yes” letter that costs something may be a good investment.
Give something extra.
WHEN TO SAY NO
If you must say no, soften the blow by saying something positive first, we love to hear from writers like you who have perceived our needs so well. When you are answering a complaint, be sure the reader knows you have taken him seriously.

8. EDITING YOUR WRITING – BEING ASSERTIVE WITH YOURSELF
No piece of paper should leave your desk without a careful inspection-in fact, two inspections: the first to revise your written material and the second to follow the copy into print. A word processor or dictating machine is not an excuse to avoid revising your work. But it can save you time and you make your work letter-perfect.
Cutting:
The bulk of your task is to eliminate all of your writing that is distracting, repetitive, or unnecessary. Deletion involves pruning away excess material to strengthen your piece. In your writing the main thought may be lost in unnecessary words, phrases and sentences. Go through your draft and eliminate all the words you can without changing the meaning, Strive for simplicity, but don’t lose sight of your style.

9. Rewriting:
The next step in the process of revision is to improve the quality of your writing by tightening your logic, making your phrasing more precise, and getting your sentences to flow in interesting ways.
Editing:
To be a successful editor, you need some objectivity. Put yourself in the
shoes of your reader and then be very critical. Be aware of using certain
words repeatedly. Go over your text and circle words you intend to change. If
your copy is handwritten, get it typed. It will seem more impersonal. Use a
dictionary to check spelling and use of words. Spelling is especially critical.
Finally, look for types and messy pages. Make your communiqués as smart
and stylish as your are.

10. UNIT IV
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS:
Transactional analysis(TA) is an analysis to training to improve interpersonal skills in organisation. It is experienced by many people as a powerful and penerating aid to the development of interpersonal skills, resulting in a significant growth in personal awareness as well as in improved communication between people. It is a very significant option for the development of people in organisation.
TA theory:
A. Ego states: Berne from his early work on institution, proposed the classification of individual personality into three ego states, each with a characteristic attitudes, feeling, behaviour and language. The three basic ego states are referred to as the Parent, Adult and Child.
1. Parent: This is the ‘Taught’ process of life. The parent in us feels and behaves in the same way we perceived the feelings and behaviour of our mother, father and others who raised us, together with other ‘authority’ figures we have met .

11. The Parent
Sets limits
Disciplines, judges and criticises
Gives advice and guidance
Protects and nurtures
Keeps traditions
Makes rules and regulations about how life should be
2. ADULT: This is the rotating principle of life. The adult is the part of us that works things out by looking at the facts and then makes decisions. It is unemotional and is concerned with ‘what fits’ and what is more useful. Adult does not mean mature.
3. CHILD: The child in us is what and how we were as very young children with all the feelings and ways of behaving we had at that time. The child may be ; fun loving, energetic, compliant, polite, creative and rebellious depending upon the individual. The Parent and child ego states are commonly subdivided in the facets as follows:

12. 4. FACETS OF THE PARENT : A distinction is made between the critical parent and nurturing parent. The critical parent sets limits, disciplines, makes rules, keeps traditions, judges and criticises ourself and/or others. The nurturing parent takes care of and looks after ourself and/or others. Both have a protective role, unless over used, in which case they tend to be suppressive.
5. FACETS OF THE CHILD: The child ego state has two major facets, Free child and the Adapted child. The Free child is natural, loving, spontaneous, carefree, curious, fun-loving, adventurous, trusting and joyful. The adapted child represents all the ways we have of getting attention from and getting along with authority figures.
6. THE LITTLE PROFESSOR The child ego state is sometimes considered to have a third aspect known as the ‘Little Professor’. This is the intuitive and creative part of us, which understands things or people in a way that is different form the logic of the Adult. He is also adept in manipulating others.

13. 7.Typical words, behaviours and attitudes of ego states:The circumstances associated with words, behaviour and attitudes are very important (eg.tone of voice).
Internal dialogue: Sometimes, the ego states interact in a such a way as to absorb a great deal of energy and cause much unhappiness. This process is referred to as an ‘internal dialogue’. E.g. thinking negative of oneself.
B.Exclusion: Some people exclude the use of one or two of their ego states in their relationship with other people. If someone does have an exclusion, they are likely to very predictable in their relationships with others.
c. Contamination: The clear thinking of the adult is sometimes impeded with contamination. When this occurs, rational problem solving is blocked. Contamination can be thought of as an intrusion of the parent state/or the child ego state into the adult ego state. Contamination occurs when the adult accepts as true some unfounded parent beliefs and rationalises and justifies these truths.

14. A child contamination of the adult gives rise to distorted perceptions of reality or illusions. For example, someone may feel as if no one likes him and yet have no objective data as to whether or it is true. Yet he may believe that his feelings are the equivalent of objective facts. In the organisation context, individuals may develop illusions, under stress. Also groups when devoid of information frequently ‘imagine’ what’s going on and inaccurate rumours may start to spread as a consequence.
D.STROKES In TA ego states are the backbone, whereas strokes are heartbeat. The psychological oxygen is derived from strokes. Stroke is a simplest of recognition. An infant receives the stroke from the parents by establishing skin contact. Skin contact remains a very stroke throughout human lives.
One key idea in TA is that negative strokes are preferable to no strokes because at least negative strokes demonstrate that I am alive.

15. E. Life Positions: The concept of life positions expresses the way an individual relates to others in terms of thinking, feeling and behaving at a given time. There are four basic life positons.
I’M NOT OK I’M OK
YOU’RE NOT OK YOU’RE OK
(I- U+) (I+ U+)
I’M NOT OK I’M OK –
YOU’RE OK YOU’RE OK
(I- U-) (I+ U-)
I’m OK-You’re OK is referred to as the ‘get on with’ position. People
occupying this position are optimistic, confident and happy about work and life
. They exchange strokes freely with those they need and decline to put
themselves or others down. Their dominant working style with others is
colloboration and mutual respect even if they disagree.Any problems they
encounter they face as constructively as possible.

16. F. Transactions TA is not only a theory of personality but also a theory of communication and this duality is part of the particular power of TA. The theory of communications asspect derives from considering the ‘transactions’ between people using the idea of ego states.
1. Complementary transaction: Here the individual who starts the communication sends a stimulus from one ego state explicitly to get a response from a particular ego state of the other person and gets response returned to their initiating ego state.
2. Crossed transaction: Here an unexpected response is returned to the initiator. The response either originates from an ego state different from that expected, or is directed to an ego state other than the one anticipated.
3. Angular transactions: Here the three ego states are involved with an ulterior or psychological message.
4. Duplex transaction: This involves a psychological message as well as a social one, together with the participation of four ego states.

17. G. TIME STRUCTURING (Or what shall we do with our lives)
One fundamental choice facing everyone is how to structure time between birth and death. There are basically six options, determined in partly by the situation we are in at any given moment and partly by our own preference.
Withdrawal It may be either physical(as for people in lone occupations or for those quiet moments when we withdraw to our own room or office to think, mediate or read) or psychological. It can be prompted by one of the three ego states, e.g. from the child as a response to threat of pain or conflict, or from the adult as a planning step.
Psychological withdrawal occurs when an individual finds little to stimulate him/her in ongoing events (e.g. discussion, gossip,lecture) and frequently withdraws into memories and fantasies. Withdrawal into fantasy is probably the best thing to do if the events around are dull and boring.0

18. 2. Rituals: A ritual is a socially programmed use of time where everybody ‘agrees’ to do the same thing. It is safe and there is no commitment to or involvement with another person. Thus in the simple ritualistic greeting. “Good morning. How are you?”, the initiator is usually not truly interested in the welfare of the other in any caring way.
3. Pastimes: They are transactions whereby people pass time with one another by talking about non-threatening subjects, e.g. weather, sport, cars, shopping etc., It is a form of social probing where individuals seek out information on one another in a non-threatening way prior to forming closer friendships.
4. Activities: Activities involve spending time in something practical and oriental towards external goals., writing a report, cleaning the car etc., Activities, to an extent are productive or creative, may be highly satisfying because of strokes received for a job well done.

19. 5. Games: Games are a series of transactions involving two or more persons with an outcome of ‘bad’ feelings(for example one person feeling inadequate and the other feeling smug) A game consists of a sequence of complimentary and ulterior transactions which lead to a predictable outcome for both parties. The predictable outcome consists (or payroll) consists of bad feelings for each player. A bad feeling is any feeling which occurs because of someone putting themselves or someone else down, e.g., anger, triump, depression, guilt etc.,
H. STAMPS: Stamps to give them their full title, trading stamps, are feelings that an individual collects and stores, rather than expresses at the instant they were experienced and then discharges at a later date.
Different individuals collect different types. Some people collect bad feelings (brown stamps) and some people good feelings (gold stamps). The bad feelings collected may be even more specific e.g.,anger (red stamps) or depression (blue stamps) guilt, hurt, etc.,

20. I. RACKETS: Rackets are bad feeling payoff at the end of a game
I. RACKETS: Rackets are bad feeling payoff at the end of a game. Many people seem to have one particular racket and consequently it is sometimes referred to as their ‘favourable bad feeling’, Some may seem to have more than one racket feeling, whereas a few don’t seem to have one at all. Racket feelings are Adapted child substitutes for spontaneous free child feelings which in some way were not ‘permitted’ in childhood. Both are instantaneous and both are really felt.
Sweat shirts: Some people are so easy to spot according to their favorite type of strokes that we think of them as wearing a sweat shirt with a logic proclaiming how they like to be treated. Such a sweat shirt also tells how the individual likes to structure time.
J. SCRIPTS: One of the most powerful ideas in TA is the concept of Life Script. A Life Script is a personal plan decided on at an early age (4-7 years old) by each individual in response to external events. The most important external factor for an offspring is the behaviour, attitudes and influences of parents.

21. On the basis of this influence, we make decisions about what kind of person we are and what kind of life we are going to lead,these decisions are crucial to our well-being and ‘survival’, when we were young. The problem is that the decision or adaptations we make at this time may be disruptive in our relationships with others when we are older. The powerful effect of parental messages is based on the situational constraints facing children.
The basic idea in scripts, therefore is that frequently, because of childhood decisions, people mould their lives according to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Advantages and Disadvantages of TA:
Advantages: 1. One of the major strengths is its versatility. It can be used simply as a theory, or as the basis of helping people to develop interpersonal skills.
2. TA can also be used as the underlying term of basic management courses which look at such topics as motivation, delegation, interviewing and problem-viewing.

22. 3. The theory provides an integrated view of personality(eo states), communications (strokes and transactions) and destiny(scripts).
4. The theory is usually readily accepted and is seen to be applicable to a wide range of circumstances both at work and in non-work situations.
5. TA clearly identifies the options which people have in the ways in which they relate to others.
6. There is an important and optimistic value in TA that people can change.
Disadvantages of TA
TA has a jargon which can be off-putting and misleading.
TA can potentially provide material for manipulating others.
TA is a potent model that can go deeply quite quickly.
TA implicitly values autonomy i.e., people being responsible for themselves and their feelings) and assertiveness (i.e., people being direct about their wants and needs).

23. 5. TA was originally developed as a novel approach to therapy and only developed into a more broadly applicable tool for education, development and training.
TA tips for Performance Interviews:
For the Manager:
Do Don’t
Ask adult-oriented questions Ask ‘why’ the subordinate
‘What results did you obtain’ did certain things that led to
substandard results.
2. Commend better-than-expected Use praise or criticism as
results-celebrate on a child-to a control device to manipu-
child wave-length late or extort desired beha-
viours from subordinates.

24. 3. Use the critical parent ego 3. Use typical manager games
state when you genuinely or ‘I am only trying to help
believe that the subordinate
should stop doing certain things
that are reducing that individual’s
effectiveness.
Be aware, when discussing Race around the ‘drama of
steps towards future dev Life triangle
of the subordinate moving
into a game of “Yes, But”.
Use forward-looking adult Use past deficiencies in
questions.”What yet needs performance to prove to
to be done to get the result to employees that they are
you planned?” incompetents.

25. For the subordinates:
Do Don’t
Move into natural child as Permit yourself to get into
relief from adapted child resentful, vengeful child ego
child-an ego state many status
subordinates get into
during a progress review.
2. Use plenty of facts and evidence 2. Play victim games such as
communicating from the adult “Kick Me,”See what you
ego state make me do”
Ask questions of your manager Let the interview degene-
when you differ about facts rate into an argument

26. Developmental planning with the subordinate:
The total performance-improvement system guides the
interview toward planning for further development of the
subordinate. In the total performance-improvement system, it is
the job of the manager to guide the interview toward planning for
the subordinate’s further development. An important way that this
can be accomplished is by the manager’s thinking in response to
stimulation from the nurturing parent.

27. UNIT V
COUNSELLING
‘Counselling within the workplace can seems a ’soft option’ and managers may not accept that they have any need of counselling skills. The core skills required for counselling are also crucial for influencing, persuading, resolving conflict, negotiating and enabling development-all key aspects of the manager’s role.
Counselling has become an effective tool for managing conflicts, reducing employee absenteeism, increasing employee’s productivity levels and solving personal problems.
What is counselling?
‘Counselling is a problem-solving technique which uses a one-to-one process to help employees solve their problems.

28. Why is counseling required?
As a manager, one has to play a key role in the progress of one’s subordinates.Sometimes despite one’s efforts in training and motivating employees, some people behave in a way that causes problems for them as well as the organisation. Here a friendly suggestion or comment from the manager is all that is needed to resolve the issue.
Types of counselling:
Directive counselling: This is complete counselling. The process involves listening to an employee’s problem and deciding alongwith the employee what should be done and telling and motivating him/her to do it.
Non-directive counselling: This type of counselling is at the opposite end of the continuum. It is the process of skillfully listening and encouraging an employee to explain the trouble, understand it and find an appropriate solution.

29. 3. Participative counselling: This method establishes a cooperative exchange of ideas to help solve the employee’s problems. Here both sides apply their knowledge, perception, skills, perspective and values to evaluate the problem and find a solution.
COUNSELLING AND OTHER INTERVENTIONS
Traditional forms of training:
Wholesale transfer of new skills, e.g. change in procedures, new system, new job function.
Programmes are mostly generic and not tailored to individual
needs.
Not always sufficiently similar to the live working environment to ensure effective skills transfer.
Best suited to transfer of knowledge and certain skills

30. Coaching/Mentoring
Actively untaps potential
Fine tunes and develops skills
Eliminates specific performance problems
Performed in the live environment
Highly effective when used as a means of supporting training initiatives to ensure that key skills are transferred to the live environment
Coaches and mentors transfer the skills to the client rather than doing the job for them.
Counselling:
Explore personal issues and problems through discussions in order to increase understanding or develop greater self-awareness
The aim of counselling is to lead the client toward self-directed actions to achieve their goals.

31. Consultancy:
Focus is on developing organisational practices, processes and structure.
Role generally more strategic and often used to instigate and design broad ranging change programmes
Consultants are often brought in to provide specific ‘solutions’ to business problems and needs
Consultant does the job for the organisation, rather than the employee/client becoming up-skilled to do the job themselves
Steps to Effective Counselling:
First preparation for the counselling sessions is done as follows: a) Thinking through what you want to discuss
b) Giving the employee time to prepare
c)Ensuring privacy and blocking interruption

32. 2. The second step is to define the purpose of the discussion
2.The second step is to define the purpose of the discussion. Next, you have to state the problems by:
a) Trying to ascertain and understand the reason behind the employee’s action
b) Making it clear that your objective is to help him/her rather than criticise
3. Following this, get the employee’s view by:
a) Letting the employee describe the situation
b) Being patient while listening to the employee
c) Allowing him/her to vent all the anger and frustration
d) Not jumping to conclusions
4. Next the clarify the problem by
a) Letting the employee state what he/she believes the problem really is
b) Making the employee understand his/her problem

33. 5. Further, help the employee develop a solution by
a) Asking him/her to find one
b) Suggesting a specific course of action
6. Finally, follow up by
a) Agreeing on the action to be taken
b) Checking to ensure that the action is not causing further problems
The Elements of Counselling:
The prime aim of counselling is to help the individual discover the solutions to his own problems. In a counselling interview the manager realises the power and authority of it. Counselling helps a person find his own solution to a problem he confronts with. An effective counseling has the following major aspects:
1. Listening: Carl Rogers coined listening as “active listening”. This may be showing the active non-verbal cries as a form of accepting the view points and allowing the person to complete the idea.

34. 2. The problem at hand: The practical response required from the counsellor in this situation is to listen intently and prepared to help the subordinate open up and go for their towards the heart of the matter.
3. Bull’s eye of the problem: Statements made by the subordinate at the start of counselling interview will always contain clues, or linkage to the essence of the problem-the thing that is concerning him personally at that very moment. The core problem is the heart of the matter which is worrying the client. It always concerns his situation at the present time and usually involves his relationship with other people.
4. Recognizing and admitting feelings: Problems that are purely technical don’t require counselling, but can be solved by factual answers. Whatever be the problem, an effective counsellor knows that it cannot be revolved unless or until the associated feelings have been dealt with. The client must be given not only the opportunity to express his feelings, which he may be in the habit of concealing, but also the help to explore and clarify what these are.

35. 5. Criticism: Criticism may have its uses in other walks of life and practice. But in the counselling relationship, it is simply counter productive. Criticism makes people feel threatened and they protect themselves by operating defence mechanisms. The result is that the councelling process stops, even though the process of interview is on.
6. The problem – solving process: The counsellor may help the client to solve the problems that the latter faces by following the sequences.
Recognising the presenting problem
Finding the core problem
Discovering why it is a problem
Recognizing and explaining feelings
Examining possible solutions and alternatives
Recognising implication and deciding on a course of action(including no action)

36. Choosing the right direction: Counselling is in someway an exploration but it is necessary for the counsellor to sheer the interview in the right direction. The skill of asking the right questions is directly related to the counsellors knowledge of human behaviours and especially the awareness of the range of human feelings and emotions. The effective counsellor will keep an open mind, being neither surprised by what he hears nor afraid to go into areas which other may think are out of bounds.
Counselling: As a helping strategy:
When people are in distress they are in need of some help. One of the obvious ways of soliciting responses from the other person is ‘can you spare a minute’ or ‘Are you busy’. The four basic styles of helping are:
1. Telling: The person who gives help by telling his clients what to do, is problem centered and excludes the client from the problem solving process. This style is frequently adopted by the technical experts whose skill and knowledge enable them to give the right answer.

37. Advising:
The person who helps by giving advice is problem centered and includes his client in problem solving. The advisor frequently develops options and then gets the client to select the one he favours. The danger is that he will offer solutions, which require his own expertise and which will not offend his client.
Manipulating:
The person who uses a manipulating style is apparently client-oriented but infact excludes the client from the problem solving process. Such a person uses his client to satisfy his own needs and wants to keep him in a highly dependent role. Manipulative helpers can often be recognized by the fact that they offer help before anyone has requested it.
: Significance of Counselling:
Counselling provides effective help with personal problems.
Counselling results in decision that will last.
Counselling result in growth and development as counselling helps and encourages people to work for themselves.
Counselling is in tune with current social attitudes.

38. Predicting People’s Problems:
All managers have to solve problems. This professional training and experience are geared to improve their problem solving abilities. The promotions make managers to solve bigger and bigger problems frequently.
When we view the reasons for people’s problems, they may be classified as:
Personality: This problem stems from the nature of the individual himself and manifest themselves in the way he behaves, no matter where he is. These problems may arise because an individual is one or more of the following:
a) Poor self image, but a high opinion of others.
b) An over estimation of his own abilities.
c) A poor self image and a low opinion of other people
2. Organizational problems: These are the problems arising inside the organizations, due to the dynamics in the organization.

39. Organisational problems are also considered to be people problems
Organisational problems are also considered to be people problems. These problems could be resolved within the organisations. One of the ways of solving these problems are through counselling.
The most identified problems of counselling include the following:
a) Keeping and losing a job
b) Unsatisfactory work relations
c) Felt injustices
d) Unsatisfactory relations with authority
e) Job development
3. External problems:
Apart from the above there are a few external problems, like the one’s mentioned below:
a) Marriage b) Bereavement c) Depression

40. Journey into Life Space:
The concept of life space has been initially coined by the noted psychologist Krust Lewin, who contributed to the understanding of group and group dynamics. In the life space he ushers the process of ‘here and now’ philosophy.
Life space is the psychological force-field which makes up the private and personal world of every one of it. When two people meet in counselling situation, it is the interaction between these forces which results in their actual behaviour. Understanding of one’s life space, facilitates effective counselling process, which in turn would help to solve the problem of the client.
Role and understanding of Life space in counselling:
The life space of an adult and a child will not look alike schematically. If the life space of the adult is taken into consideration, then it has first the ‘past, present and future’ trends.

41. According to Krust Lewin, a grown up adult has a five stage life space like future and near past treading on the either side of ‘present situation’. Sometimes it is easier to establish the contact with the children than adults. The child’s life space could be probed easily than that of the adults.
Gaining entry into life space is not a simple task. First as every one develops physical ways of defending themselves from the unwanted in tenders, so people develop psychological defences, which prevent their inner selves from being revealed and violated.
The counsellor should make the person feel comfortable and voluntarily participate in the process. If the other person puts all his energy in defending his life from a possible attachment then the counsellor should keep off from him.
How to behave within the life space:
The entry into the life space of a person is a privileged process. When the counsellor enters into life space he should honour and respect the sentiments of the other person.

42. Criticism is essentially judging someone against one’s life standards and pronouncing that their behaviour of performance is below these standards. Feelings critised means feeling threatened and anyone who feels threatened when counselled immediately ejects the counsellor from their life space.
3. Ways of exploring the life space:
There are at least three particular ways of exploring the life space:
a) People tend to push unpleasant facts and memories to the back of their mind and then do their best to forget about them. A skilled counsellor can help some one to remember things which they would sooner forget but which may have a bearing on the current problems.
b) The counsellor can help the person to see things from a different angle, just as an unusual camera shot can give new insights into a well known object.
c) The counsellor can put a different type of question like ‘What do you think of you do..? Here the counsellor can make a person feel an aspect of the problem which client would not

43. otherwise had thought of.
4. How to deal with emotion and feelings:
Any problem brought for counselling would be associated with feelings and emotion. But the intensity of weak to strong may vary case to case some may freely express their feelings. Others may not. This may be due to the negligence and discouragement received by the respondent as a child. Effective counselling gives the respondent an opportunity for the person to express his feelings. This facilitates both the parties to achieve a direction and a sense of trust.
5. Is life space a reality or fantasy:
Fantasising is a human-mark quality. Fantasies are a normal part of everyone’s life helping as they do, to minimise the harshness of the real world. But counselling can only be effective when the client is enabled to recognise and accept the facts that surround him and to discover realistic solutions.

44. 6. Life space and solution:
Any new action or change which the client decides to make must be congruent with his basic personality and general outlook. Good counselling resents incremental change rather than grand jumps. Any modification is incremental and do change to the behaviour marginally, provided the previous and the desired acts do corroborate with one another, one is not complementing the other, then there is no possibility of modification in the act or behaviour.
7. How and when to leave life space:
Concluding the meeting is as important as commencing the same. The client should have a feel that he had received real help and carry away with him a personal preference of work to do.

45. Anxiety and Stress:
Anxiety is an intensely personal and subjective feelings. What is a challenge to one man is a nervous breakdown for the other. Most people will admit that some of their unpleasant times have been when they have experienced acute anxiety. Anxiety is man’s response to danger.
Acute stress is simply prolonged anxiety. The bodily symptoms of anxiety originally evolved to assist immediate survival action in a dangerous situation. But if the dangerous situation continues over a long time and cannot be resolved through fight or flight, the body responds in the same way, Adrenaline will be continually injected into the blood stream, resulting in high pulse rates and possible clothing and embolisms. Muscles continually tensed result in headaches and backaches. Blood pressure may remain high and all sorts of bowel and stomach disorders occur. This will invite the first danger zone, i.e., diabetes. Thus anxiety is an imaginary or real feeling could cause loss of life if it is prolonged and is not effectively addressed.

46. Problems causing anxiety at work can be overcome and mastered
Problems causing anxiety at work can be overcome and mastered. Increasing market share, developing new products etc., problems of this sort are very part of the very nature of managing and should not cause acute anxiety. Acute anxiety can rise from areas of interpersonal relations and self esteem.
People may become anxious for no obvious reason. Everyone has memories, fears and worries which are locked inside themselves. These are capable of creating anxiety, since these thoughts arise from inside, it is known as neurotic anxiety. To cope up with this, repression is the best remedy which means preying the memory as deeply as possible under the level of the conscious mind.
The other defence mechanism is projection. Here the mind thickness itself into believing that the cause of anxiety is located in somebody else.
The internal factors related to organisation are:
1. Dependency:Here everyone puts trust in a leader.

47. It is the general assumption that he is unasked and will deliver them from all troubles and problems.
2. Messianic hope: It is a general assumption that some person or event will soon appear on the scene which will solve all the organisations’s problems such as a new computer installation of the latest training package.
Fight or Flight: Here the fighting is within the organization which need not be a legitimate one or against any competition. But it is between production and sales department or between management and unions.
Counselling as an aid to Develop the organisation:
Every organisation develops a climate within which consists of the unwritten rules which governs the ways in which people are expected to behave. Climate may have profound influence on everyone, each person may pay for his continuing membership.

48. The significance of organisational flexibility lies in the manager-subordinate relationship. This relationship is at the heart of the organisation. This has an effect on employees at every level. The effect is not only on the work performance but also on the general morale.
The counselling relationship is otherwise known as an effective relationship between the boss and the subordinate. This is demonstrated by the way they work together day by day and it also enables the boss to counsel his subordinate when it is appropriate.
The manager adopts four basic behavioural styles towards his subordinates. These styles become apparent specifically when the manager agrees or disagrees with his subordinate. The four styles are: Encouraging, Reasoning, Patronizing and Criticising.

49. Checklist for Counsellors:
The following is a checklist which should help managers to carry out a good counselling interview.
What is the purpose of the interview? Whenever possible, the manager should find time to consider the purpose of the interview. The reasons for the counselling interview may include all or some of the following:
a) To help the interviewee let off steam
b) To help him to see himself or his problem more clearly
c) To support him while he finds his own solutions
d) To demonstrate interest and genuine concern
What information do I need?
The manager must have as much information as possible concerning the person he is going to counsel. The manager should take time to assimilate all the information and it is a good idea to make brief notes on a small paper which can easily be referred to during the interview.

50. 3. Have I ensured privacy?
There are few things more counter-productive to a counselling interview. People must be prevented from coming into the office by fixing a notice on the door saying ‘meeting in progress’. Managers who do not have a room to themselves must negotiate for a private room in which to hold a interview.
Where shall we sit?
Counseling is likely to be more effective when both people sit facing each other on chairs of the same height without a desk between them, although a low coffee table may be useful for papers.
5. What time shall I need for the interview?
The first aspect of planning is time. Having decided on the length of the interview, it is important that the manager informs the subordinate of this at the outset. Also one should allow at least quarter of an hour between the end of the interview and the next engagement to reflect on what has happened and to make notes.

51. 6. What is the best plan for the interview?
A counselling interview needs to be properly managed if it is going to be useful, and it requires appropriate direction by the manager. This can only happen if the counsellor prepares an outline plan which makes full use of the time available. One basic approach is, ‘WASP”, where W-welcome,A-acquiring information,S-supplying information and P-parting. Skilful planning of the interview ensures that the counselling process is completed within the allotted time.
7. How shall I start the interview?
The manager must welcome his subordinate and set the scene in which an appropriate counselling interview can ensure the more the subordinate can feel relaxed and at case, the more he will speak openly and frankly about his attitudes and feelings.Getting down to business too soon can result in the subordinate feeling tense and apprehensive.

52. 8. What kind of relationship do I want to establish?
The relationship established in a counselling interview is bound to reflect the day-to-day relationship which already exists between the manager and subordinate. The best relationship is one in which both parties feel at ease and can behave naturally and be able to speak openly and honestly. It should also be such that it contributes to the future working relation ship.
9. What information needs to be exchanged?
Counselling depends on getting down to the facts. The aim of counselling is to find ways of overcoming problems such as poor performance and not to play the role of sentencing judge. Part of the information you may have to convey may be bad such as failure to achieve a pay rise. But if one is told that you have made this decision and for the following reasons, then one can discuss it with the manager.

53. 10. What kind of questions should I ask?
Invariably in counselling, the open-ended question is the best kind to ask. An open-ended question is one which allows the client the maximum choice in his reply and enables him to explore his own reactions to the full. Such questions could be as follows:
a) “Would you like to tell me more about that?”
b) “ Why do you say that?”
The opposite type of questioning produces from the subordinate ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers.
11. How can I help him explore feelings?
In any counselling interview the manager must encourage his subordinate to express his feelings. By his behaviour and the nature of their relationship, he must indicate that this is perfectly legitimate and acceptable. The manager must be prepared to experience his subordinate’s emotions and his own emotions. A counselling interview without the expression and experience of feelings can never be fully effective. The question to be asked sis ‘How did that make you feel’.

54. Dealing with feelings is especially important when people come to you with personal problems and request an interview: the effective counsellor knows that on these occasions, emotions and feelings are always part of the problem.
12. How can I ensure that appropriate action will be taken?
An effective counselling interview will frequently end with one or both parties agreeing to take some particular action. Good counselling can often be satisfying for both people concerned, with a real sense of achievement and the pleasure of human relationship. The manager must be careful not to promise what he cannot fulfil or what is outside of his authority or company policy.
13. How shall I conclude the interview?
The way in which an interview concludes is an important as the way it commences. Those last words spoken the warmth of the final handshake, all leave a flavour which will remain as significant memories in the subordinate’s mind.

55. Training for Counselling:
Training in counselling skills is vital to anyone who is responsible for the work of others.
General situation: The ideal method requires one tutor for each group of three trainee counsellors. The tutors should be people who have a good understanding of counselling from both, practical and theoretical standpoint and who are good teachers. The total number of people who could attend such a programme depends on the number of competent tutors available. A spacious room is also needed to accomodate the tutors and trainees.
Starting the programme:
1. The purpose of the day: The tutor who is directing the training should welcome the trainees and tell them what their learning objectives are. Also the trainer should make sure that any written material be sent out before the course and purpose of the course is stated clearly.

56. 2. The tutor’s role:
The directing tutor will then outline the programme. At this stage he will introduce the tutors and briefly describe their role, which is that of a consultant. Their role is to maximise the learning for each individual.
The ‘ice-breaker’ exercise,
Counselling training requires a climate of trust and openness if it is to be effective. Ice-breaking exercise is commonly used on a variety of training exercise.
The trainees are exposed to various types of exercises like fact-finding, regarding other’s job, interests and so on. The trainees get transformed from strangers into a number of pairs who know about each other. After this, the anxiety disappears and they realise that the others are not so different from themselves and they share many common problems and interests.

57. The Lecture:
Following the ice-breaker exercise, the tutor gives a lecture of about 30 minutes, in which he outlines the purpose and method of counselling. It is essential that the trainees understand the theory of counselling. The concept of ‘There’s nothing so practical as a good theory’ is emphasised. Every tutor will have his own style in his lecture. Generally he makes the following four strong points in his lecture:
a) The purpose of counselling
b) What hinders counselling?
c) What helps counselling? And
d) The value of counselling