1. How To Understand and Motivate Them
Decoding Teenagers:
How To Understand and Motivate Them
Debbie Lehr-Lee
Academic Life Coach
April 21, 2014

2. What You’ll Get From this Presentation
An Introduction to Core Motivation
Insight into understanding your teenagers (as well as yourself)
How to tailor your communications with your teenager
How to set achievable and accountable goals
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

3. Intel Technical Sales Engineer Program
My Story
1995
2011
Intel Technical Sales Engineer Program
YourCollegeGameplan.com

4. Academic Life Coaching
Dedicated to helping students successfully navigate school and life
Founded in 2004
Organization of nearly 150 Academic Life Coaches located internationally from Boston to Dubai
As seen in CNN, Huffington Post, MSNBC, Wall Street Journal, and the Associated Press
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

5. The Facts about College Life
Nearly 25% of students leave college before finishing their sophomore year
Only 56% will graduate from college
Tuition has increased 1120% since their parents went to college
Cost of 4 years of college is $86K-$173K
Avg Counselor to Student Ratio is 1:460
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

6. Teenagers long to know:
The Vaccine:
Give teenagers life tools:
to better understand themselves
to empower them with choice
to assume responsibility
to better communicate
Teenagers long to know:
Who am I?
How do I fit in?
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

7. Coaching for students works:
…10 -to 15-percent increase in retention and graduation rates among those in the coached group..
Increase in confidence 93%*
Improved GPA 95%*
Reported being less stressed 82%* * based on 8 years of data
YourCollegeGameplan.com

8. Some Maximize Success Options
Academic Life Coaching Program
Kick Starting the Term
Let’s us partner with you so that
your student will be more confident and happy in navigating their academic life
and be ready and prepared
for their life after college.

9. Core Motivation
The messages students send to themselves and try to accomplish in most of their actions
A map to increase your self-awareness, a fundamental component of Emotional Intelligence
Same solution does NOT work for everyone…understand that what works for you may not work for them.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

10. #1: Perfectionist Core Motivation I am OK if I am perfect
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

11. #1: Perfectionist Core Motivation I am OK if I am perfect
When Speaking to a One...
Go easy on them, and be sure to point out what they did right
Encourage them to take care of themselves
Help them take the larger picture into account
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

12. I am OK if I can help others
#2: Helper
Core Motivation
I am OK if I can help others
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

13. I am OK if I can help others
#2: Helper
Core Motivation
I am OK if I can help others
When Speaking to a Two...
Be sure to show your gratitude for who they are and what they do.
Help them draw clear boundaries
Encourage them to take care of themselves.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

14. #3: Doer/Performer Core Motivation I am OK if I am the best
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

15. #3: Doer/Performer Core Motivation I am OK if I am the best
When Speaking to a Three...
Appreciate the 3’s desire to accomplish the goal, but encourage them to focus on fulfillment, not just achievement.
Help them align their activities with their values
Let them know that you support them no matter if they succeed or fail.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

16. #4: Individualist/Artist Core Motivation I am OK if I express myself
and I’m understood
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

17. #4: Individualist/Artist Core Motivation I am OK if I express myself
and I’m understood
When speaking to a 4...
Understand that 4’s identify with their emotions. If it’s a positive emotion, build on it. If it’s a negative emotion, acknowledge it and let it pass.
Give them time to emote on the situation
Gently bring the focus to something positive and possible actions to take, but let the 4 decide to move into action.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

18. #5: Expert/Thinker Core Motivation I am OK if I am right
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

19. #5: Expert/Thinker Core Motivation I am OK if I am right
When Speaking to a Five...
5’s love to be right. When speaking to a 5 avoid arguing the bottom-line right or wrong answer but bring your focus to the 5’s reasons for their decision.
Gently encourage 5’s to move into action and to pay attention to results, not just theory.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

20. #6: Loyal-Skeptic/Friend Core Motivation
I am OK if I do what is expected
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

21. #6: Loyal-Skeptic/Friend Core Motivation
I am OK if I do what is expected
When Speaking to a Six...
Let the 6 know you are on their side and trying to help.
Be careful what you promise and make sure that you follow through on promises.
Appreciate the 6’s wit and sense of humor and don’t take negativity too seriously.
They value safety and want to be prepared for worse case scenarios.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

22. #7: Enthusiast /Optimist Core Motivation I am OK if I get what I want
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

23. #7: Enthusiast /Optimist Core Motivation I am OK if I get what I want
When Speaking to a Seven...
Encourage 7’s to slow down and appreciate what’s present. They love high energy, excitement and can get bored easily.
When giving feedback it’s helpful to say something positive before and after something negative. Remember: positive, negative, positive.
Let them know your needs and support them when facing anything negative.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

24. #8: Challenger/Defender Core Motivation I am OK if I am in control
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

25. #8: Challenger/Defender Core Motivation I am OK if I am in control
When Speaking to an Eight...
Be straight forward and blunt - get to the point.
Keep focused on the goal, don’t make things personal, because they aren’t.
8s value control are hard workers and great leaders.
Encourage them to ask for help when they need it - willingly showing vulnerability for 8’s is a sign of positive personal growth.
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

26. #9: Peacemaker
Core Motivation
I am OK if everything is peaceful

27. I am OK if everything is peaceful
#9: Peacemaker
Core Motivation
I am OK if everything is peaceful
When Speaking to an Nine...
Encourage 9’s to know what they want and assert themselves.
Encourage them to speak up before they “just can’t take it anymore.”
Support them when they step outside their comfort zones. Encourage them when they take active steps toward a goal and focus on performance.

28. MBOs
ARs
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

29. The Solution Well-Formed Outcomes Focus on the Process/Systems
Positive Outcomes happen naturally when the proper system is in place
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

30. Four Criteria for a Well-Formed Outcome
Stated in the Positive
Started and Completely Controlled by you
Appropriate size to time ratio
Specific and Measurable
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

31. Example of Shifting Goals to Effective Outcomes
Goal: I want to earn all A’s
Effective Outcomes:
I want to turn in all my assignments completed and on time this week.
I want to talk to all my teachers about my learning and performance once or more a month.
I want to study for each test this month two days before the test for an hour or more
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching

32. Your College Workbooks
Bonus
Student
Parents
45 minute kick off session
Free
$150
Success

33. Next Steps Help your teenager understand him/herself as an individual
Encourage your teenager to take increasing responsibility for their active lives. Use Well Form Outcomes.
Go to YourCollegeGamePlan.com for additional information about Core Motivation and the Academic Life Coaching program

34. Thank You For Attending!!
I value your feedback. Please send your comments to
Your College GamePlan
Academic Life Coaching