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Self-Awareness Building Relationships. Building Breakthrough Teams.
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OUTLINE Rules Setting Activity1(Temperaments) Lecturette (Part 1)
Activity2 (Personal Plan) Lecturette (Part 2) Summary
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Seek to KNOW and EXPERIENCE TAKE OFF your SHOES
Rules for the Workshop Use “I” Statements Seek to KNOW and EXPERIENCE TAKE OFF your SHOES Do NOT be AFRAID of SILENCE SMILE and have FUN learning!!!
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What is awareness? Knowing that something exists. Internal awareness
External awareness Fantasy
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What is Self-Awareness?
having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, strengths, limitations, values and motives – personality.
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Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
INDIVIDUAL Self -Awareness Self -Defensiveness Self - Confusion Self –Understanding Self - Denial Self - Acceptance Self - Rejection Self - Responsibility Psychological Death Psychological Growth
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Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
INDIVIDUAL Brings you . . . - Self-confidence - Realistic self-assessment - Self-deprecating sense of humor - Positive sense of self-worth
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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ? TEAM Self -Awareness Self –Management Social Awareness Relationship Management (Post-industrial definition of LEADERSHIP) EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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Why SELF A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - determines the ability of a person or organization to manage emotions in a way that cultivates trust, identity and effectiveness. Self –Aware Individual Self –Aware Team Emotional Intelligent Member Emotional Intelligent Organization
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Why SELF A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
IQ vs. EQ “IQ makes you get the job.” “EQ makes you keep the job as long as it takes.”
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“It is the greatest good for an individual to discuss virtue every day
“It is the greatest good for an individual to discuss virtue every day...for the unexamined life is not worth living.” ~Socrates
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ACTIVITY 1 What is my TEMPERAMENT?
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LECTURE & DISCUSSION What are the Four (4) TEMPERAMENTS?
A Tool for Self-Awareness
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introduction The 4 TEMPERAMENTS Temperament is an individual’s tendency to react in a certain way throughout their life, forming an identifiable pattern. proposed by Hippocrates in 350 BC explains personality differences based on the predominant body fluids
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The 4 TEMPERAMENTS CHOLERIC – “yellow bile from the liver”
introduction The 4 TEMPERAMENTS CHOLERIC – “yellow bile from the liver” MELANCHOLIC – “black bile from the kidneys” PHLEGMATIC – “phlegm from the lungs” SANGUINE – “blood from the heart”
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What is your relational style?
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4 TEMPERAMENTS in a nutshell
MELANCHOLIC CHOLERIC The EXTROVERT The DOER The OPTIMIST The INTROVERT The THINKER The PESSIMIST PHLEGMATIC SANGUINE The INTROVERT The WATCHER The PESSIMIST The EXTROVERT The TALKER The OPTIMIST
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Recognizing Differences
At best in: C jobs that require quick decisions spots that need instant action and accomplishments areas that demand strong control and authority M attending to details and in deep thinking keeping records, charts, and graphs analyzing problems too difficult for others P positions of mediation and unity storms that need a calming hand routines that might seem dull to others S dealing with people enthusiastically expressing thoughts with excitement up-front positions of attention
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CHOLERIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES Active Assertive Bold Brave Capable Compelling Confident Competitive Determined Decisive Driving Dynamic Effective Energetic Enterprising Focused Forceful Goal oriented Independent Opinionated Passionate Persevering Positive Pragmatic Productive Purposeful Quick Resolute Self-motivated Sharp Strong-willed Vigorous Zealous Aggressive Ambitious Angry Antagonistic Argumentative Bossy Combative Defiant Dismissive Domineering Harsh Impatient Intolerant Oppositional Prideful Pushy Relentless Shrewd Stubborn Unempathic Unsympathetic
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Famous Cholerics St. Ignatius of Loyola St. John Bosco
St. Cyril of Alexandria Margaret Thatcher Michael Jordan Bill Gates
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MELANCHOLIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES Painstaking Particular Quietly Passionate Persevering Planned Pondering Precise Prudent Reasoned Reflective Religious Reserved Restrained Romantic Shy Serious Sensitive Studious Thorough Thoughtful Analytical Artistic Careful Cautious Choosy Conscientious Deliberate Delicate Discreet Detailed Elegant Exacting Guarded Idealistic Introspective Judicious Lover of truth and beauty Meticulous Noble Orderly Aloof Apprehensive Brooding Cool Critical Demanding Distrusting Envious Fearful Grudge-bearing Haughty Hypochondria Highbrow Jealous Judgmental Nitpicking Perfectionist Pessimistic Reluctant Scrupulous self-righteous Skeptical Snooty Standoffish Strict Superior Suspicious Timid Uncommunicative Unsocial Undemonstrative Wary
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Famous Melancholics St. John, the Evangelist John Henry Newman
St. Padre Pio
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PHLEGMATIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES Amiable Calm Collected Composed Conservative Coolheaded Cooperative Deliberate Dependable Diplomatic Dry Easy-going Courteous Constant Content Efficient Even-tempered Fair Friendly Gentle Good-humored Kind Level-headed Meek Mellow Mild Modest Neutral Peaceful Philosophical Polite Quiet Relaxed Reliable Self-controlled Self-possessed, Serene Sincere Sober Stable Steady Sympathetic Tactful Traditional Understanding Undisturbed Unflappable Untroubled Without hostility Apathetic Boring Distant Indecisive Indifferent Impassive Inattentive Lackadaisical Listless Lukewarm Obtuse Passionless Procrastinating Sluggish Slow Simple Spiritless Unconcerned Unenthusiastic Un-opinionated Unmotivated Unresponsive Languid Content with status quo Lack of aspirations
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Famous Phlegmatics St. Thomas Aquinas St. Gregory Nazianzen
Pope John XXIII Keanu Reeves
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SANGUINE : a closer look
WEAKNESSES STRENGTHS Active Affectionate Affable Animated Ardent Carefree Compassionate Cheerful Creative Docile Eager Enthusiastic Entertainer Expressive Generous Fashionable Flexible Forgiving Funny Fun-loving High spirited Imaginative Joyful Light-hearted Lively Open Optimistic Outgoing Popular Responsive Resilient Sensitivity Sparkling Spontaneous Story-teller Vivacious Warm-hearted Attention-seeking Changeable Chatty Distractible Disorganized Emotional Tendency to exaggerate Faddish Fickle Flighty Frivolous Forgetful Gossipy Inconstancy Insincere Lacking depth Scattered Sensuality Smart-alecky Superficial Prone to vanity Undisciplined
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Famous Sanguines St. Peter St. Francis de Sales St. Philip Neri
Ronald Reagan Bill Clinton Magic Johnson Franklin Roosevelt
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Let’s Make A Personal Plan
ACTIVITY 2 Let’s Make A Personal Plan Assess Your Strengths List 3 STRENGTHS you feel are the most important in your relationships with others. Evaluate Your Weaknesses List 3 WEAKNESSES you think that most need improvement. Plan Your Steps for Personal Improvement As you look at the 3 WEAKNESSES you have chosen to work on, list what you can actually do to change these areas.
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Getting Along Well CHOLERIC Recognize they are born leaders
Insist on two-way communication Know they are always right Don’t push your luck
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Getting Along Well CHOLERIC Try to divide areas of responsibility
Realize they are not compassionate Know they don’t mean to hurt
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Getting Along Well MELANCHOLIC Know that they are very sensitive
Learn to deal with depression and get hurt easily Compliment them sincerely and lovingly Realize they are programmed
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Getting Along Well MELANCHOLIC
Accept that they like it quiet sometimes with a pessimistic attitude Try to keep a reasonable schedule Realize that neatness is a necessity
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Getting Along Well PHLEGMATIC Realize they need direct motivation
Realize that putting things off is their form Help them set goals & make rewards of quiet control
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Getting Along Well PHLEGMATIC Don’t expect enthusiasm
Force them to make decisions Don’t heap all the blame on them Encourage them to accept responsibilities
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Getting Along Well SANGUINE
Recognize their difficulty in accomplishing tasks Realize they talk without thinking first They like variety and flexibility Help them to keep from accepting more than they can do
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Getting Along Well SANGUINE
Don’t expect them to remember appointments or be on time Praise them for everything they accomplish Remember they are circumstantial people
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Getting Along Well SANGUINE Bring them presents
Accept that they make fun out of what would be embarrassing to others Realize they mean well
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PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION 1.Powerful Cholerics are Compulsive Workers Learn to relax Take the pressure off others Plan leisure activity Respond to other leadership Don’t look down on “The Dummies” Stop Manipulating 2. PCs Must Be in Control C H O L E R I 3. PCs Don’t Know How to Handle People Practice patience Keep advice until asked Tone down your approach Stop arguing & causing trouble 4. PCs are Right but Unpopular Let someone else be right Learn to apologize Admit you have some faults
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PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION Realize no one likes gloomy people Don’t look for trouble Don’t get hurt so easily Look for the positives 1. Perfect Melancholies are Easily Depressed. Search out the source of your insecurities Listen for evidence of “false humility” 2. PMs Have Low Self-Images M E L A N C H O I 3. PMs Procrastinate Get the “right things” before starting Don’t spend so much time planning 4. PMs Put Unrealistic Demands on Others Relax your standards Be grateful you understand your temperament
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PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION 1. Peaceful Phlegmatics are Not Exciting Try to get enthused Learn to accept responsibilityfor your life Don’t put off until tomorrow Motivate yourself 2. PPs Seem Lazy P H L E G M A T I C 3. PPs have a Quiet Will of Iron Learn to communicate your feelings 4. PPs Appear Wishy-Washy Practice making decisions Learn to say no
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PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION Talk half as much as before Watch for signs of boredom Condense your comments Stop exaggerating 1. Popular Sanguines Talk Too Much 2. PS are Self-Centered Be sensitive to other people’s interests Learn to listen S A N G U I E 3. PS Have Uncultivated Memories Pay attention to names Write things down 4. PSs are Fickle and Forgetful Friends Make friends not just acquaintances Put other’s needs first 5. PSs Interrupt and Answer for Others Don’t fill you must fill all the gaps 6. PSs are Disorganized and Immature Pull your life together Grow up
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Maximize your STRENGTHS
Minimize your WEAKNESSES
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Summary... We have a little of a lot of all four relational styles
Behavior is situational. How are you at home and how are you at work? There is only one relational style we “lean” toward the majority of the time People are unique so we need to try to understand others
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Summary... Use our strengths towards achieving success for our organizations and for ourselves In leading others in all our domains (home, work, community ,etc.) In building harmonious/edifying relationships with others
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Summary... Over-extending our strengths however can become our weaknesses Balance = effectivity. For ourselves and for our work Learn to balance your personal profile Develop a balanced work profile
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Valuing Appreciating Summary... Respecting Understanding
Our reactions to others should move from... Judging Understanding Respecting Appreciating Valuing
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There is richness in diversity!
Summary... Different = Wrong Different = Different There is richness in diversity!
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Awareness brings effectiveness!!
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THE END Or is it The Beginning….
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