1. Marriages and Families: Changes, Choices and Constraints Eighth Edition Nijole V. Benokraitis
© 2015, 2012, 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

2. Singlehood, Cohabitation, Civil Unions, and Other Options
Chapter 9
Singlehood, Cohabitation, Civil Unions, and Other Options

3. Learning Objectives
LO 9.1 Explain why many Americans are choosing not to marry or are postponing marriage LO 9.2 Describe the diversity of singles LO 9.3 Explain who lives alone and why LO 9.4 Explain why more people are choosing to be single

4. Learning Objectives
LO 9.5 Compare racial and ethnic singles LO 9.6 Explain why cohabitation has increased LO 9.7 Describe same-sex relationships and explain why same-sex marriage is controversial

5. The Single Option Are Americans opting out of marriage?
Many singles are postponing marriage

6. Are Americans Opting Out of Marriage?
People choosing not to marry is resulting in a marriage problem
People believe that being single is an attractive option
People decide to marry at later ages

7. Many Singles Are Postponing Marriage
Present tendency to delay marriage is the norm
Especially for men
Singles face enormous pressure from the society
Many young people are pursuing a college education, preparing for a job or career, and spending more time in recreational or other activities before marrying. Hence are marrying late.
Societal pressures
People think there’s something wrong with you.
Are asked over and over again whether they’re dating “someone special.”
Parents drop not-so-subtle hints about having grandkids.
Feeling invisible and not being invited to social or family activities with married couples unless it’s to be fixed up with one of the couple’s single friends.

8. Figure 9.1 - Many Americans Are Marrying Later
Median age for marriage has increased.
Source: Based on data from U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, 2012, Table MS-2, Estimated median age at first marriage, by sex, 1890 to the present, (accessed July 27, 2013).

9. Singles are Diverse Single adults in general
Single adults in later life

10. Single Adults in General
Voluntary temporary singles
Open to marriage but place a lower priority on searching for mates
Voluntary stable singles
Are single and satisfied with that choice
Involuntary temporary singles
Would like to marry and are actively seeking a mate
Involuntary stable singles
People who would like to marry or remarry but haven’t found a suitable mate
Accept their single status as permanent
Being single can be either freely chosen or unintentional, as well as either enduring or temporary.
A person’s inclusion in these categories can change over time.

11. Single Adults in Later Life
Become choosier about selecting a mate increases
Double standard favors men
Has its own advantages an disadvantages
As people grow older, their tendency to become choosier increases as the pool for suitable people decreases.
Double standard still favors men, decreasing the likelihood of their marrying older women.
Older singles maybe lonely and unhappy. Married people develop extensive network of friends and family.
Marriage may be satisfying, but it also limits one’s freedom.
Never-marrieds don’t have to deal with the trauma of widowhood or divorce

12. Home Alone
Who is living alone?
Why do people live alone?

13. Who Is Living Alone? Patterns in singlehood Gender and age
More women than men live alone
Race and ethnicity
Most people who live alone are whites
Regional location
Living alone is most common in big cities
More women than men live alone.
Women live about six years longer than men.
They are less likely than men to remarry after a divorce or widowhood.
If they enjoy good health and have enough income, they can care for themselves into their 80s and even their 90s.
Members of other racial-ethnic groups such as Latinos, Asian Americans, and American Indians are more likely to live in extended-family households because of values that emphasize caring for family members and pooling financial resources to avoid poverty.
“Singleton” households tend to cluster in urban areas.

14. Why Do People Live Alone?
Reasons why people live alone
They can afford it
Emphasis on individualism
Living longer and healthier lives makes it possible to live independently
People have more options
People don’t want to put their life on hold until they find suitable partner.

15. Why More People are Single
Macro-level factors
Demographic influences
Individual reasons
Some myths and realities about being single

16. Macro-Level Factors War Technology Social movements Economy
Gender roles
Wars, besides devastating a country’s population of young men, many of the married become involuntary singles through widowhood.
As a result of technological advances, many women postpone marriage because they believe that they’re no longer bound by the biological clock.
Several social movements have also resulted in delayed marriage or shaped our definitions of acceptable relationships.
Economic depressions, recessions, and unemployment tend to postpone marriage, especially for men.
Employment increases a woman’s chances of meeting eligible men and may enhance her attractiveness as a potential contributor to a household’s finances.
On the other hand, women with high salaries and education levels are often unwilling to settle down with men who earn less than they do.
As gender roles change, so do attitudes about marriage and self-sufficiency.
Men are no longer dependent on women for household work.
Women to get a college degree and/or start their career before settling down because it’s difficult to juggle a career and a family.

17. Demographic Influences
Sex ratio: Proportion of men to women in a country or group
Marriage squeeze: Sex imbalance in the ratio of available unmarried women and men
Social class
Nonmarital childbearing
Sex ratio
Female infanticide: Intentional killing of baby girls because of a preference for sons.
Social class
Many unmarried couples postpone marriage because they feel that financial worries will increase tension, arguing, and the chances of divorce.
Nonmarital childbearing
Nonmarital births are now common.
Many never-married mothers are likely to remain single because they can’t find a good husband.

18. Individual Reasons Waiting for a soul mate Being independent
Enjoying close relationships and activities
Making a commitment
Having children
Fearing divorce
Being healthy and physically attractive
Singles sometimes delay marriage because they’re waiting to meet their “ideal mate” or “one true love.”
One of the biggest benefits of singlehood is independence and autonomy because single people can do pretty much what they please.
Singles who are delaying marriage rely on peers rather than a spouse for support and companionship.
Many men put off marriage because of stagnant wages and job losses, and they see marriage as a major economic responsibility that they don’t want to undertake.
Because cohabitation and parenting outside marriage are widely accepted, singles of all ages feel less pressure to get married.
Divorce or prolonged years of conflict between parents can have a negative effect on young adults’ perceptions of marriage.
People with severe physical or emotional problems are also more likely to remain single longer or not marry at all.

19. Table 9.2 - Some Benefits of Marriage and Singlehood
Sources: Based on Stein, 1981; Carter and Sokol, 1993; Klinenberg, 2012.

20. Some Myths and Realities about Being Single
Singles are selfish and self-centered
Singles are well-off financially
Singles are usually lonely and miserable and want to marry
Singles are promiscuous or don’t get any sex
Singles’ children are doomed
Singles worry about growing old and dying alone
There’s something wrong with people who don’t marry
Marriage tends to reduce community ties because married people are more immersed than singles in meeting their own needs.
More singles than marrieds live at or below the poverty level.
Singles who are successful and happy are rarely lonely or miserable because they have other single friends who enjoy mutual recreational activities such as traveling.
Married people report being happier with their sex lives than do singles and have sex more frequently.
However, singles have more sexual freedom without getting entangled emotionally or making a commitment.
How children fare depends largely on a parent’s resources, the quality of parenting, and alcohol or other drug use.
Because singles are more likely than married couples to be involved in family and community activities, they rarely worry about growing old and dying alone.
There’s nothing wrong with being or staying single.
Many singles simply believe that the disadvantages of marriage outweigh the benefits.

21. Racial and Ethnic Singles
African Americans
Latinos
Asian Americans

22. Figure 9.4 - Changes in Marital Status, by Race and Ethnicity, 1970 and 2012
Sources: Based on Saluter, 1994: vi, and U.S. Census Bureau, “Families and living arrangements,” 2012, Table A1, (accessed July 30, 2013).

23. African Americans Structural factors Values and attitudes
Shortage of marriageable African American men
Values and attitudes
Homogamy limits the pool
Poor women realize their shortcomings as a partner and opt out
Women don’t consider marital commitment necessary to have a baby
Compared with other groups, blacks are the most likely to be single, especially never married
Many are postponing marriage, and higher proportion may never marry.
Reasons for shortage of marriageable African American men
Deteriorating employment conditions
Occupational hazards in dangerous jobs
Disproportionately large numbers of urban black men in their 20s and early 30s are in prison or jail or are victims of homicide.
Most college-educated black women are reluctant to marry down.

24. Latinos Structural factors Values and attitudes
Higher percentage of Latinos have not yet reached marriageable age
Postponing for economic reasons
Illegal or migrant workers have difficulty meeting eligible partners
Values and attitudes
Moving away from familistic values
Latinas are generally less likely than black women to experience a shortage of marriageable partners, but singlehood is also increasing among Latinos.
Familism - Encourages marriage and having children.

25. Asian Americans Have some of the lowest singlehood rate
Includes Pacific Islander
Structural factors
Acculturation
Values and attitudes
Interracial marriages
Intermarriage decreases singlehood rates, especially among Asian American women.
Cultural values can also decrease the number of singles.

26. Cohabitation Cohabitation trends Types of cohabitation
Is cohabitation replacing marriage?
Who cohabits?
Some benefits and costs of cohabitation

27. Cohabitation Benefits of cohabitation
Does cohabitation lead to better marriages?
How does cohabitation affect children?
Cohabitation and the law

28. Cohabitation
Living arrangement in which two unrelated people are unmarried but live together and are in a sexual relationship

29. Cohabitation Trends
Cohabitation rates have risen but figures are still too low because:
Census Bureau doesn’t tabulate all unmarried couples in a home
Unmarried couples may be reluctant to disclose that they’re living together
Cohabitation has become a pathway to marriage

30. Types of Cohabitation Dating cohabitation Premarital cohabitation
Trial marriage
Substitute marriage
Dating cohabitation: Living arrangement in which a couple who spends a great deal of time together eventually decides to move in together.
Serial cohabitation: Living with different sexual partners over time.
Premarital cohabitation: Living arrangement in which a couple tests its relationship before getting married.
Trial marriage: Arrangement in which people live together to find out what marriage might be like.
Substitute marriage: Long-term commitment between two people who don’t plan to marry.

31. Is Cohabitation Replacing Marriage?
Many young people don’t believe in cohabiting
Cohabiting not viewed as a substitute for marriage
Statistics indicate that cohabiting relationships are usually short lived
Some people maintain that cohabitation is replacing marriage, but there’s little evidence to support such claims.

32. Who Cohabits? General patterns to cohabitation Age Gender
Race and ethnicity
Social class
Religion
About 34 percent of cohabitants are 18 to 29 years old, and another 35 percent are 30 to 44 years old.
Approximately 26 percent of unmarried partners are 45 to 64 years old, and nearly 5 percent are 65 and older.
Reasons why older couples avoid marriage
They don’t want to blend their families or complex portfolios of assets.
Remarriage may mean giving up a former spouse’s pension, alimony, Social Security, and medical insurance.
Unpleasant divorces in the past.
Grown children fear that they will be displaced in their parents’ affection—especially in their wills.
By age 30, 74 percent of all U.S. women have cohabited.
Daughters often follow their mother’s lead.
Women whose mothers have a college degree or more are significantly less likely to cohabit than otherwise.
Because of the shortage of marriageable men, many low-income, cohabiting black women don’t want to marry because they believe that their live-in partners will be unemployed, unfaithful, or not responsible for caring for children.
Low-income white and Puerto Rican single mothers don’t marry their partner for the same reason.
Cohabitation rates from high to low
Latinas
White women
Black women
Asian women
Cohabitation is more common among people at lower education and income levels.
The most religious Americans are less than half as likely to cohabit as those who seldom or never attend church because they believe that premarital cohabitation is immoral and increases the odds of divorce.

33. Some Benefits and Costs of Cohabitation
Cohabitation is controversial subject
Some believe that living together is immoral
Others argue that it’s a normal part of life
As in any other relationship, cohabitation has both benefits and costs.

34. Benefits of Cohabitation
Pooling of economic resources
Dissolving the relationship without legal problems
Postponing marriage lowers likelihood of divorce

35. Benefits of Cohabitation
Helps people find out how much they really care about each other
Increases the chances of receiving care that is usually provided by spouses
Children reap some economic advantages by living with two adult earners
Costs of Cohabitation
Cohabitants have a poorer quality of relationship and lower levels of happiness and satisfaction.
People who cohabit often demonstrate more negative behaviors after marriage.
Cohabitation dilutes intergenerational ties.
Laws in the United States don’t specify a cohabitant’s responsibilities and rights.
Cohabitants are more likely to break up if sexual frequency is low.
Most cohabitants can’t receive a partner’s Social Security funds, pensions, estates, and financial aid for children in college.

36. Does Cohabitation Lead to Better Marriages?
No concrete proof
Following factors explain why living together may have negative marital outcomes
Cohabitation effect
Inertia effect
Cohabitation effect - People may come to accept the temporary nature of relationships and to view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage.
Inertia effect - After moving in together, a couple often makes numerous decisions that make it more difficult to break up pushing them toward marriage.

37. How Does Cohabitation Affect Children?
Experience more domestic violence
Are more likely to be poor
Are in households in which the partners spend less on children
Are more likely to experience a parent’s breakup
Tend to have poorer health
Have more academic, emotional, and behavioral problems
Besides these difficulties, children often suffer the consequences of serial cohabitation or a parent’s breakup with a partner.

38. Cohabitation and the Law
States rarely prosecute cohabitants who violate the laws
Unmarried couples and their children have very little legal protection
Best protection in financial matters is to maintain separate ownership of possessions
Four states (Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, and North Dakota) still have laws on the books that prohibit opposite-sex cohabitation.
When a cohabiting relationship ends, the legal problems can be overwhelming.

39. Gay and Lesbian Couples
Gay and lesbian relationships
The war over same-sex unions

40. Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Love, sexuality, and commitment
Most lesbians and gay men want an enduring relationship
Power and division of labor
Majority of gay and lesbian couples report having equal power in their relationship
Like heterosexuals, homosexual cohabitants must work out issues of communication, power, and household responsibilities.

41. Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Problems and conflict
Experience the same problems as heterosexual couples
Racial-ethnic variations
Homosexual couples get less social support from family members
Greatest rejection comes from racial-ethnic families
Problems and conflict include
Power
Personal flaws
Intimacy
Physical absence

42. The War over Same-Sex Unions
Same-sex couples have gained greater acceptance in six states
Civil unions
Alternative for marriage
Grant all state-level spousal rights to same-sex couples, or domestic partnerships
Same-sex marriages have been legalized as of 2013
Applicable for 13 states and Washington, DC
Opposition to both civil unions and same-sex marriage is considerably higher among those who:
Regularly attend religious services.
Live in the South.
Are age 65 and older.
Have conservative views on family issues.
Being unable to marry also helps explain why, among cohabitants, the breakup rate for same-sex couples is twice as high as for different-sex couples.