1. Being Forthright Winston Churchill
Precise
Clear
Forthright
NYP 45063
Familiar
Concise
Fluid
Short words are the best, and old words, when short, are best of all.
Winston Churchill
This slide is a title slide for a discussion of Chapter 6 in The Craft of Scientific Writing, 3rd ed. (Springer, 1996). As with Chapters 4 and 5, Chapter 6 presents a goal, rather than a rule, for language in scientific writing. The goal of being forthright is important for communicating efficiently. And being perceived as a professional.
CSW: Page 97
Reference for photograph:
"Churchill portrait NYP 45063" by British Government - This is photograph NYP from the collections of the Imperial War Museums.. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons -

2. To make your language forthright, you should control tone and use strong nouns and verbs
and strong verbs
Nouns
Verbs
Mapping slide for presentation about being forthright. On this slide, I like to ask students what the word tone means. Tone is one of those words that people often use, but do not know exactly what it means. (Definition occurs on page 97.)
CSW: Page 97

3. forthright casual arrogant silly obfuscated
Tone is the attitude that the writer
shows about the subject
casual
arrogant
forthright
Mapping slide for discussion of controlling tone. This slide shows the desired attitude and four undesired attitudes that creep into scientific writing.
CSW: Pages
silly
obfuscated

4. For formal situations, do not use informal language
a lot of
But...
And...
&
btw
vs.
much; many
However,...
In addition,...
and
Students are often casual in situations that call for formality. Here are some common examples: using a lot of; beginning a sentence with But or And (considered informal by many); using an ampersand rather than the word and (okay for PG&E, but not in a sentence to replace the conjunction and); using a chat-room abbreviation such as btw in a formal sentence; or abbreviating the word versus in a formal sentence.
by the way
versus

5. Many scientists and engineers convey arrogance in their writing
Obviously,...
As is well known, the use of gaseous insulation is becoming increasingly more widespread, with gases such as air and sulfur hexafluoride featuring prominently. There has been some discussion of using gas mixtures like nitrogen and sulfur hexafluoride, and of course nitrogen is the major constituent of air.
Examples of arrogance in scientific writing (pages ).

6. Tone often goes out of control in correspondence
As per your request...
I beg to differ with...
Enclosed please find...
For the facilitation of this end, Division 8463 will
interface with Division 8265.
Examples of silliness in scientific writing (pages ).
The liquid propellant fuel experienced an
unscheduled partial disassembly.

7. Clichés are expressions that are too familiar
sly as a fox
busy as a bee
faster than a speeding bullet
I am in search of a meaningful growth position,
and your company is a gateway to the highest
professional levels and beyond…
Examples of silliness in scientific writing (pages ).
When you come up to speed, I'll touch base
with you and we'll knock heads together!

8. To make your language forthright, you should control tone and use strong nouns and verbs
and strong verbs
Nouns
Verbs
Repeat of mapping slide for presentation about being forthright. The next topic to consider is using strong nouns and verbs.

9. Relying on abstract nouns weakens the writing
Experimental design is a method of efficiently performing a comparative analysis. Specifically, a 23 design compares the main effects and the interactive effects of three variables on a final measured characteristic. The use of experimental design results in correct problem structuring, efficient experimentation, and data analysis leading to correct conclusions.
Page 102: weak example that has too many abstract nouns.

10. Relying on abstract nouns weakens the writing
Experimental design is a method of efficiently performing a comparative analysis. Specifically, a 23 design compares the main effects and the interactive effects of three variables on a final measured characteristic. The use of experimental design results in correct problem structuring, efficient experimentation, and data analysis leading to correct conclusions.
Page 102: weak example that has too many abstract nouns.

11. Weak verbs hide the energy of your work
A new process for eliminating nitrogen
oxides from diesel exhaust engines is
presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.
This slide presents an example of a paragraph with weak verbs. Most writing books advocate using the active voice where possible. Although some situations call for the passive voice, the active voice is generally more forceful and straightforward. What students should avoid is a stacking of passive voice verbs as in the top example. How do you revise such a stacking of passive voice to achieve active voice? The answer causes controversy, and you might take issue with some of ways presented here (judicious use of first person or allowing an agent to act). I present my case for these ways and for not stacking passive voice verbs on pages

12. Also, the tighter the verb form, the stronger the verb
is capable of
is composed of
is used to detect
makes a decision
makes a measurement of
performs the development of
can
consists of
detects
decides
Page 104
measures
develops

13. Needlessly passive verbs slow your writing
Misconception: Scientific writing must be
written in the passive voice.
Needless Passive
Active
1. Allow inanimate objects to act
2. Use the first person judiciously
Pages

14. Problems can arise using the active voice with inanimate objects
Safe
The oscilloscope
displayed
the voltage.
The oscilloscope
measured
the voltage. V + -
Page 107
The oscilloscope
calculated
the voltage. V=
Dangerous

15. Misconception: In scientific writing, you cannot use the first person.
Using the first person is fine as long as
the emphasis remains on the work
Misconception: In scientific writing,
you cannot use the first person.
Users of the
First Person
Einstein
Feynman
Darwin
Crick
Maxwell
Faraday
Freud
Curie
Non-Users of
the First Person
It was decided that...
It was assumed that...
It was realized then that...
Pages

16. Avoiding the first person often convolutes sentences
In that an effort to identify a specific
control circuit responsible for the failure
of the gear box was unsuccessful, it was
determined appropriate to resurvey the
collector field for torque tube damage.
Page 108
Because we could not locate the control circuit
responsible for the gear box failure, we resurveyed
the collector field for torque tube damage.

17. Weak verbs hide the energy of your work
A new process for eliminating nitrogen
oxides from diesel exhaust engines is
presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.
This paper presents a new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. To test this process, we performed experiments in flow tubes. These experiments revealed a 99 percent decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions.
This slide presents revision of the earlier slide’s example of a paragraph with weak verbs. See pages

18. Being Forthright Winston Churchill
Precise
Clear
Forthright
NYP 45063
Familiar
Concise
Fluid
Short words are the best, and old words, when short, are best of all.
Winston Churchill
This slide is a conclusion slide for a discussion of Chapter 6 in The Craft of Scientific Writing, 3rd ed. (Springer, 1996). As with Chapters 4 and 5, Chapter 6 presents a goal, rather than a rule, for language in scientific writing.
Reference for photograph:
"Churchill portrait NYP 45063" by British Government - This is photograph NYP from the collections of the Imperial War Museums.. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons -