1. Interpersonal Relationship Skills
Kamal Nayan Pradhan
Pratistha Koirala

2. Objectives of the Session
Understanding interpersonal skills
Dimensions of interpersonal relationship
Role of communication in IPR
Power of active listening
Self assessment: Some models in practice
Communication style
Transactional analysis
Johari window model
The relevance of IPR in Military Context

3. Interpersonal Relationship
Interpersonal skills are the life skills we use every day when we communicate and interact with other people, both individually and in groups.
People who have worked on developing strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives.

4. Forms of IPR Friendship Family and kinship Professional relationship
Marriage
Casual relationship
Brotherhood and sisterhood
Acquaintances

5. IPR for an individual Personal growth and development
Entertainment and ejoyment
Sense of security
Context of understanding
Interpersonal needs
Establishing personal identity

6. IPR for a manager/leader
Understanding self
Building a positive functional multidisciplinary team
Improving intra and/or inter team communication, coordination and cooperation
Improved decision making and problem solving

7. IPR for an Army Officer
Sun Tzu wrote over 2500 years ago:
“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”

8. IPR for…….
Mastery of battlefield tactics and a knack for leadership are only prerequisites. Generals and other top officers are now expected to be city managers, cultural ambassadors, public relations whizzes and politicians as they deal with multiple missions and constituencies in the war zone, in allied capitals — and at home.
Thom Shanker

9. The relevance of IPR in Military Setting
The Arabian nights by Scheherazade (Story)

10. How does communication fail?
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
- George Bernard Shaw

11. Communication is the KEY
Communication is the lifeline of any relationship. Without it, the relationship will starve to its death.
Elizabeth Bourgeret
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
Robert Frost

12. Principles of Interpersonal Communication
Inescapable
Irreversible
Complicated
Contextual

13. Interpersonal communication
Oral Communicating Behaviour Patterns
Testing understanding
Seeking information
Giving information
Disagreeing
Shutting out
Defending/ Attacking
Bringing in

14. Listening skills: Some major listening problems: Comparing
Mind reading
Rehearsing
Day dreaming
Filtering the message
Proving right

15. listening skills
Paraphrasing: what the speaker has said to confirm understanding
Clarifying and asking questions until the message is clear.
Concentrating on the message, not on the speaker
Being aware of listening blocks

16. Transactional Analysis
A transaction is an art of communication or interaction between two people.
It starts with a stimulus and ends with a response to the stimulus.
Transaction are between various ego states.

17. Ego States We have three ego states or personality aspects Parent
Adult
Child

18. Types of transactions Complementary Transaction Crossed Transaction
Ulterior Transaction

19. Complementary Transaction
Both the transacting persons use only one of their three ego states
Interaction, responses, actions regarded as appropriate and expected from another person.
Parallel communication arrows
communication continues

20. Complementary Transactions
A: What time is it?’ B: ‘Three o’clock.’ A A C C

21. Crossed Transaction
The response to a message either does not come from the same ego-state of the receiver toward which the message was directed, or is not received by the ego state of the speaker which originally transmitted it.

22. Crossed Transactions P P
A: What time is it? B: Forget about what time it is, get that report finished. A A C C

23. Covert or Ulterior Transaction
The actual or intended meaning of the message is different than what is literally expressed through the message.
Since ulterior transition have hidden meaning they often, if prolonged, may transform the transactions into psychological game.

24. Ulterior Transactions
A: ‘What time is it?’ B: ‘What time do you think it is?’ A: ‘Hundred o’clock?’ B: ‘Exactly!’ P P A A C C

25. The ok corral

26. Life Positions I’m OK, you’re not OK
‘You’re not doing it right, let me show you’
I’m not OK, you’re not OK
‘This is terrible, we’ll never succeed’

27. Life Positions I’m not OK, you’re OK
‘I wish I could do it as well as you do’
I’m OK, you’re OK
‘We’re making good progress here’

28. Johari Window Model Known to self Known to all only Unknown
Unknown to Others
Known to Others
Known to self
only
Known to all
Known to
Self
Unknown
to Self
Unknown
Known to others
only

29. Known to all Reduce Hidden Area through DISCLOSURE to Others
Reduce blind spot through FEEDBACK from others

30. The contemporary shift Are you a pentathlete officer?
This Pentathlete personifies the Warrior Ethos in all aspects, from war fighting to statesmanship to business management.

31. Success in the future Army environment will be measured by the leader’s ability to build relationships with various governmental interagency, military multinational and non-governmental organizations.
These organizations will not be as familiar with the tactical and technical skills that are well honed within our military leadership.
Rather, interpersonal skills will be the equalizer as pentathlete leaders cross cultures striving to build consensus and accomplish missions.

32. The contemporary shift “Do you have the interpersonal tact?”
Defined, interpersonal tact refers to having a capacity to understand the interactions with others; possessing self-awareness about how others perceive you and how to best to interact with them.
During combat, cohesive teams maximize effectiveness and take fewer casualties.

33. The contemporary shift The military case of Interpersonal Role
Encouraging
Trustworthy
Teacher
Coach
Credible
Good Listener
Persuasive
Mentor

34. The basic rules of Interpersonal Engagement
Ability to shift between the personality types and communicate accordingly.
Mastering the three levels of effective communication
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual

35. Some Tips Mind your tone and body language.
Act responsibly instead of blaming.
Be honest and sincere in appreciation.
Be open to feedback.
Be a good and patient listener.