1. Diction: Sachar Passage:
A redheaded woman was there with Trout. Kate could see her rummaging through the cabin, dumping drawers and knocking things from the shelves of cabinets.
Louis Sachar, Holes
Talk About It:
What picture do you get in your mind when you read the 2nd sentence?
How would the meaning of the sentence change if we changed it to:
Kate could see her searching through the cabin, emptying drawers and taking things off of the shelves of cabinets.
Now You Try It:
Write a sentence describing a small boy making a mess in a restaurant. Use words that are clear, concrete, and exact.

2. M.C. heard him walk up the slope of Sarah’s mountain
Diction: Hamilton
Passage:
“M.C. heard him scramble and strain his way up the slope of Sarah’s mountain.”
Viginia Hamilton, M.C. Higgins, the Great
Talk About It:
What does it mean to scramble and strain up a mountain?
How would it change the mental picture if we rewrote the sentence like:
M.C. heard him walk up the slope of Sarah’s mountain
Now You Try It:
Write a sentence describing someone slowly climbing up a flight of stairs. Use Hamilton’s sentence as a model.

3. Diction: Angelou Passage:
For nearly a year, I sopped around the house, the Store, the school, and the church, like an old biscuit, dirty and inedible. Then I met, or rather got to know, the lady who threw me my first lifeline.
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Talk About It:
What is the dictionary definition of the verb sop? What effect does this word have on the readers? Why use it in this sense?
What is a lifeline? How is Angelou’s use of the word different from its usual use? Why use the word in this sentence?
Now You Try It:
Write a sentence using the verb ring in a fresh and new way to capture your behavior around your house. Use Angelou’s first sentence as a model.

4. Diction: Soto Passage:
He spent hours in front of the mirror trying to herd his teeth into place with his thumb. He asked his mother if he could have braces, like Frankie Molina, her godson, but he asked at the wrong time.
Gary Soto, “Broken Chain”, Baseball in April and Other Stories
Talk About It:
What is Gary Soto implying about the narrator’s teeth when he uses the verb herd in the first sentence?
How would the meaning change if it were written like this?
He spent hours in front of the mirror trying to push his teeth into place with his thumb.
Now You Try It:
Fill in the blank below with a strong verb that creates a clear picture in the reader’s mind like Soto’s does. Avoid obvious verbs like brush, comb, or fix. Be creative!
She spent hours in front of the mirror trying to ___________ her hair in place for the party.

6. Diction: Wilde Passage:
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “far away across the city I see a young man in a garret*. He is leaning over a desk covered with papers, and in a tumbler by his side there is a bunch of withered violets. His hair is brown and crisp, and his lips are red as pomegranate, and he has large and dreamy eyes.”
Oscar Wilde, “The Happy Prince,” The Happy Prince and Other Tales
Talk About It:
Is the young man rich or poor? How do you know?
What does it mean to have crisp hair? Describe or sketch a person with crisp hair.
Now You Try It:
Write a short description of a dog. First decide whether you want to describe a fancy, pedigreed dog or a scruffy mutt. Then capture the dog by using strong diction. Don’t explain that the dog is fancy or scruffy. Instead, use perfect words to create a picture of the dog for the reader.

7. Diction: Dickens Passage:
“How well I recollect the kind of day it was! I smell the fog that hung about the place; I see the hoar frost, ghostly, through it; I feel my rimy hair fall clammy on my cheek; I look along the dim perspective of the schoolroom, with a sputtering candle here and there to light up the foggy morning, and the breath of the boys wreathing and smoking in the raw cold as they blow upon their fingers, and tap their feet upon the floor.”
Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
Talk About It:
What words tell the reader that the room was cold and dark?
What is a sputtering candle? How does describing the candle help you understand the feeling of the whole room?
Now You Try It:
Describe a room that is unbearably hot. Use words that are clear, concrete, and exact, as Dickens does. Use a vivid adjective to describe an object in the room (like sputtering candle). Don’t simply state that it is hot. Instead create a picture for the reader, capturing how the heat affects the surroundings.

8. Diction: Williams Passage: n you at the ivory-n-ebony
crooning “I Left my Heart…” to momma,
winkin n smilin n jazzin n profilin
n sangin n sangin
n sangin n soundin
sweeeeeeeeeeeeee
Crystal Williams, “ The Famous Door,” Kin
Talk About It:
What words imitate the way someone talks? Why does Williams use these words instead of standard English words?
How would the impact of the poem change if the lines were
And you at the piano
singing to mamma,
winking and smiling
and singing
and sounding sweet
Now You Try It:
Write a short poem that captures the way you sound when you talk to your friends. Use slang (no cursing) and creative spelling to make your poem sound like talking when you read it aloud. Choose your own topic.

9. Tone: Anderson Passage:
“Rachel/Rachelle and some other twit natter about the movie date before Mr. Stetman starts class. I want to puke. Rachel/Rachelle is just ‘Andythis’ and ‘Andythat.’ Could she be more obvious? I close my ears to her stupid asthmatic laugh and work on the homework that was due yesterday.”
Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak
Talk About It:
What is the attitude of the narrator toward Rachel/Rachelle? What words indicate this attitude?
What is the tone of the passage? How do you know?
Now You Try It:
Write a description of a particularly awful cafeteria lunch. Your tone should be disrespectful and mocking. Don’t come right out and say that you disrespect and mock the food. Instead use good diction to create your disrespectful, mocking tone.

10. Tone: Asgedom Passage:
“We went with sandwiches, thick, poor-man’s ham from Aldi’s supermarket, slapped onto wheat bread and slathered with a thin film of mayonnaise.”
Mawi Asgedom, Of Beetles & Angels: A Boy’s Remarkable Journey from a Refugee Camp to Harvard
Talk About It:
What is the speaker’s attitude toward the sandwiches?
How did you figure out the speaker’s attitude toward the sandwiches?
Now You Try It:
Write a sentence which expresses your attitude toward a great dinner you’ve recently eaten. Don’t explain your attitude. Instead, use diction and detail to show your attitude toward the meal.

11. Tone: Ebersole Passage:
“Turning off my headlamp, I freeze in the darkness. I quietly wait to hear the noise again. Suddenly something scuttles in the leaves scattered on the ground. My heart beats faster. What is it? Could it be a snake?”
Rene Ebersol, “Night Shift,” National Geographic Explorer, Oct. 2004
Talk About It:
What is the tone of this passage? How does the syntax help create the tone? (Look at verb tense, sentence length, questions)
How would the tone of the passage change if it were written like this?
I turned off my headlamp and froze in the darkness. I quietly waited to hear the noise again. Suddenly something scuttled in the leaves scattered on the ground. My heart beat faster. I wondered what it was and if it could have been a snake.
Now You Try It:
Change the tone of the following paragraph by changing the syntax… change the verb tense, combine sentences to make longer sentences, make the last sentence into two questions…
I stopped suddenly and looked around me. I could not hear a sound. There was no traffic. I couldn’t see anyone walking around in the park. Everything was too still. I wondered if something had happened and where everyone had gone.