1. Marital Intimacy

2. Spiritual
Intimacy
3 Types of Intimacy
Soul
Intimacy
Physical
Intimacy

3. Spiritual Intimacy
Defined: We develop our spiritual lives as individuals but share in our submission to our God. This allows us to share the purpose that God has for us as a couple.

4. Spiritual Intimacy
It is about learning to connect with your spouse through his or her faith.

5. Individual Spiritual Growth
God
Commitment to God
Commitment to God
Wife
Husband
Intimacy
Commitment to yourself
Commitment to yourself
Conflicts
Individual Spiritual Growth

6. My attitude towards my spouse.
Committed to Yourself
Taking advantage of…
Dominering
Selfish
Judgemental
My attitude towards my spouse.

7. Spiritual intimacy grows as each person grows individually in his/her devotion to God. Each one learns and fulfills his/her duties without judging the other person on his/her progress.

8. Committed To God Guide Psalm 23:1 Psalm 25:5 1 Corinthians 6:19
Means Letting God..
Govern
Guide
Psalm 23:1
Psalm 25:5
1 Corinthians 6:19
Proverbs 16:9
2 Corinthians 4:5

9. Attitude towards my spouse
Committed To God
I submit
myself to God
I submit
myself to God
Wisdom
Power
Attitude towards my spouse
Selflessness
Agape Love
Service
Patience

10. Take Time to Connect

11. Spiritual
Intimacy
3 Types of Intimacy
Soul
Intimacy
Physical
Intimacy

12. Soul Intimacy “Soul” Mind = What we think Emotions = What we feel Will
= What we desire

13. Soul Intimacy “Intimacy” Secrecy = What we keep hidden Revealing
= What we share
Exclusivity
= With whom we share it.

14. Soul Intimacy
Soul Intimacy is that bond between a spouses who reveal their deepest intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires exclusively with each other.

15. Thoughts Feelings Desires
Soul Intimacy exists when
both people feel free to share…
Thoughts
“I have been thinking…”
Feelings
“I feel that…”
Desires
“I would like…”

16. Soul Intimacy
Soul Intimacy is a two-way street. It is about willingness to reveal your intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires; but it is just as much about listening to and understanding your spouse’s intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires.

17. OBSTACLES…

18. OBSTACLES…
1. Thinking that it is my job to change the other person.
2. Thinking that we always have to agree in order to be happy.
3. Inability or lack of desire to open up with the other person.
4. Different Values

19. 1. Thinking it’s my job to change the other person…
“If only he thought more like me…”
“If only she could control her emotions…”

20. 2. Thinking that we always have to agree in order to be happy…
“Even though we are two distinct people with distinct temperaments and tastes, we should somehow always agree on everything.”
Not True!

21. 3. Inability or lack of desire to open up with the other person…
He doesn’t understand me and won’t talk!!!
I don’t even know what he feels!

22. Are men mummies?
UHHH
For men in particular, it can be difficult to foster soul intimacy in this sense.

23. “This relationship is just too much work!”
I work hard and I just need some time to myself.
I really don’t know what she wants from me.
Emotionally, I can’t take much more of this.
He never has time for me.

24. 4. Different Values… My Values Family Work Church Money Sports Success
Health
Education
Integrity

25. 2. Weekly Coffee & Conversation Time
TOOLS
1. Active Listening
2. Weekly Coffee & Conversation Time
3. Monthly Family Meeting Time
4. Establish Shared Family Values

26. Take Time to Connect

27. Spiritual
Intimacy
3 Types of Intimacy
Soul
Intimacy
Physical
Intimacy

28. Physical Intimacy
Intimacy in our sexual relationship comes from an understanding that the pleasure found in sex can only truly be experienced outside the realm of selfishness and perversion.

29. Physical Intimacy
When the couple understands God’s purpose for sex, the relationship will be an expression of Biblical truths.

30. Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

31. The Purpose of Sex in my Marriage
1. Portrait (of Christ’s love for the Church)

33. The Purpose of Sex in my Marriage
1. Portrait (of Christ’s love for the Church)
2. Procreation

34. The Purpose of Sex in my Marriage

35. Genesis 1:28
28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

36. The Purpose of Sex in my Marriage
1. Portrait (of Christ’s love for the Church)
2. Procreation
3. Passion (Intimacy & Partnership)

37. Song of Solomon 2:2-6 2 Like a lily among thorns,
So is my love among the daughters.
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. under my head,
And his right hand embraces me.

38. Song of Solomon 2:2-6
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. 5 Sustain me with cakes of raisins,
refresh me with apples, for I am lovesick. 6 His left hand is under my head,
And his right hand embraces me.

39. The Purpose of Sex in my Marriage
1. Portrait (of Christ’s love for the Church)
2. Procreation
3. Passion (Intimacy & Partnership)
4. Pleasure

40. Proverbs 5:18
18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.

41. How to Have Sacred Sex
1. Know the Purpose.
2. Keep it in the Biblical Context.
3. Keep it Healthy, not Perverse.

42. To enrich the life of the couple.
What is the Purpose?
To enrich the life of the couple.
To be an instrument of grace to the other person.

43. What is the Purpose?
It’s about understanding God’s purpose for our sexual intimacy, knowing that God wants to use our sexual relationship to teach and share His grace.

44. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

45. Sex must be a selfless act!
“When two become one flesh, their bodies are at the service of the other person. The best sex occurs when the his joy comes from her, and when her joy comes from him.”
Sex must be a selfless act!
John Piper

46. “God did not create this enormous capacity for pleasure simply to ensure that there would be a next generation.”
John Piper

47. How to Have Sacred Sex
1. Know the Purpose.
2. Keep it in the Biblical Context.
3. Keep it Healthy, not Perverse.

48. What is the Biblical Context?
Between a man and a woman who are bound by a vow of marriage.

49. So outside the context of marriage, sex is an act of perversion.
Hebrews 13:4
So outside the context of marriage, sex is an act of perversion.
4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

50. How to Have Sacred Sex
1. Know the Purpose.
2. Keep it in the Biblical Context.
3. Keep it Healthy, not Perverse.

51. Sex is healthy when it stays within the Biblical purposes and limits.
When is sex healthy?
Sex is healthy when it stays within the Biblical purposes and limits.

52. Ephesians 4:17-19
17 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart…

53. Ephesians 4:17-19
19 …who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

54. Jude 5-7
5 But I want to remind you, though you once knew this, that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. 6 And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day…

55. Jude 5-7
7 …as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

56. When is sex unhealthy? Incest Prostitution Homosexuality Bestiality
Rape
Harmful Sex
Adultery

57. Is Marital Sex Dirty?
The Bible says that spouses should offer their bodies to each other in marriage, and should not deny each other, except for special occasions, for a short period of time. (I Corinthians 7:5).

58. Is Marital Sex Dirty?
God made men and women as sexual creatures. He designed our body with nervous systems capable of enjoying sexual pleasure on purpose.

59. Is Marital Sex Dirty?
Marital Sex is good, healthy and ordered by God.

60. Take Time to Connect