1. There’s no business like flow business
Chris Nelson
INTO Newcastle University

2. My sources:
Student assignment:
Explain Google’s Digital Library Project and International Copyright Law. Discuss the extent to which the library is a violation of international copyright law with reference to the arguments in the two texts.

3. Materials
Extracts from assignments
Tutors’ written feedback
Extracts from students’ sources: two journal articles:
Hanratty, E. (2005) “Google Library: Beyond Fair Use?” Duke Law & Technology Review, 10.
Prasad, A. and Agarwala, A (2008) “Copyright, Google and the Digitization of Libraries – Armageddon on the Digital Superhighway: Will Google’s E-library Project Weather the Storm?” Computer Law & Security Report, 24:

4. In 2004, Google announced that it would co-operate with major libraries to fulfil its ambition for a digital library project (Hanratty, 2005: 1). Now, Google has developed an advanced technology to scan books of four university libraries as well as one public library (Prasad & Agarwala, 2008: 255). Google aims to give individuals the ability to search the whole text of those books (Hanratty, 2005: 1).
However, Google’s action is without the holder’s authorization, (Prasad & Agarwala, 2008: 256). ________, America’s largest Author’s Guild launched a lawsuit filed to Google since the action is a violation of copyright law. This essay will explore whether the e-library of Google is against the international copyright law in accordance with two texts.

5. What do you think is missing from line 9?
Does the last sentence contradict the previous sentence in any way?
Which part of the question has the thesis statement not mentioned, and why?
Why are the citations non-integral?

6. From Jenny’s EAP tutor’s feedback
Your essay is well-structured overall and with a (generally) very good use of linking language to guide your reader though the line of argument. Try to make sure that this linking is consistent throughout the development of all of your arguments.   
Overall, a very good essay which answers the question directly, synthesising the sources available.
Grade: 65
What is the difference between a double citation and a secondary citation?
Where did you see good examples of linking language?
What do you think of the grade?

7. The main body of the essay requires students to analyse and compare the application of the four fair use tests by the writers of the 2 journal articles. Here is how one student dealt with the second test:
The second test means that copying factual works, or non-fiction, is more likely to be fair than creative work…
On the handout, read the whole extract from Helen’s essay and answer the questions.

8. Linking paragraphs
An item of tutor’s feedback from one of the essays:
At times, you could create smoother, more obvious, connections between one paragraph and the next. For example, paragraph concluding sentences can be used to make a link between the current paragraph’s focus and the shift of focus to the next paragraph.

9. Specifically, the tutor wanted a smoother link between paragraphs 2 and 3:
Basically, the aim of the copyright law is to empower copyright holders to handle their works and to indicate the factors which may lead to infringement (Hanratty, 2005: 4). Concluding sentence.
The library exemption was provided by copyright law and that allows libraries to copy works under certain conditions (Hanratty, 2005: 8). Topic sentence.
Can you suggest a way of linking these more closely?

10. Basically, the aim of the copyright law is to empower copyright holders to handle their works and to indicate the factors which may lead to infringement (Hanratty, 2005: 4).
Included in copyright law is library exemption, which allows libraries to copy works under certain conditions (Hanratty, 2005: 8).
Turning to library exemption, this was provided by copyright law and that allows libraries to copy works under certain conditions (Hanratty, 2005: 8).

11. In terms of cohesion, which one is more effective?
A, because “copyright law” is closer to its previous mention than in B; and converting to a relative clause is an elegant alternative to “and that”.
However, “turning to” is a neat transitional phrase.

12. Comment on the following concluding sentences and following topic sentences. Can any of them be improved?
The aim of this essay is to analyse whether Google is against copyright law with reference to both library exemption and fair use tests.
Copyright law is to both protect author’s efforts and promote the progress of science and arts…
Good transition – the first of the three concluding prepositional phrases starts the topic sentence immediately.

13. Here’s another one:
With regard to Google’s project, it shall satisfy fair use if wanting to argue that its act does not violate international copyright law; at present there are four fair use standards.
In terms of the first test it refers to an analysis of the aim and character of the use of copyrighted works…
In the concluding sentence the student has, perhaps unnecessarily, paraphrased “tests” with “standards”. Keeping “tests” would make a smoother transition.

14. Signal to the reader that this is the concluding paragraph.
Signal to the reader to expect something in contrast to what has just been written.
1 ___________, Google seems to slightly violate copyright law because of the second test. 2_________, based on the other three tests, it is hard to assert Google’s act is violation…

15. From Jenny’s conclusion:
The fair use tests do not exclude Google in entirety. It cannot be said that Google has violated the copyright law categorically, because it is protecting the rights of authors and encouraging them to produce more work, and meanwhile disseminating knowledge. Although Google does not pass the fair use doctrine completely, it is not in violation of the spirit of copyright law.
What is impressive about this extract?
(Clue – it’s not about cohesion.)

16. The fair use tests do not exclude Google in entirety
The fair use tests do not exclude Google in entirety. It cannot be said that Google has violated the copyright law categorically, because it is protecting the rights of authors and encouraging them to produce more work, and meanwhile disseminating knowledge. Although Google does not pass the fair use doctrine completely, it is not in violation of the spirit of copyright law.

17. References
KIM HYERYUN (Helen )
ZHANG ANJING (Jenny)
ZHANG ZHENGFAN (Lucas)
LAURA SLEEMAN