1. Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence
Primal Leadership
Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence

2. PRIMAL LEADERSHIP
The emotional task of the leader is primal in two senses: it is both the original and the most important act of leadership.
What characteristics make an emotionally intelligent leader great?
Great leaders move us.
They inspire the best in us.
The leader acts as the group’s emotional guide.
They are self-aware, empathic, and positive motivators.

4. The Four Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence
Personal Competence: These capabilities determine how we manage ourselves
Self-Awareness
Self Management
Social Competence: These capabilities determine how we manage relationships
Social Awareness
Relationship Management

5. Self-Awareness Means having a deep understanding of one’s: Emotions
Strengths
Limitations 
Values
Motives
Goals 
Dreams
Good self-awareness enables intuition, which helps us make better, more informed decisions.

6. Self-Management Self-management flows from self-awareness.
Self-management frees us from being a prisoner of our feelings by keeping up an ongoing inner conversation.
Enables optimistic enthusiasm, even under pressure which radiates positive feelings that create resonance.
Creates an environment of trust, comfort, and fairness.

7. Social Awareness
Social awareness—particularly empathy—is crucial for the leader’s primal task of driving resonance (Harmony). By being attuned to how others feel in the moment, a leader can say and do what’s appropriate—whether it be to calm fears, assuage anger, or join in good spirits. This attunement also lets a leader sense the shared values and priorities that can guide the group.

8. Relationship Management
Here we find the most visible tools of leadership: Persuasion - Conflict Management - Collaboration
Managing relationships skillfully boils down to handling other people’s emotions. 
The art of handling relationships well begins with authenticity: acting from one’s genuine feelings. 
Emotionally intelligent leaders know that what people value most deeply will move them most powerfully in their work. 

9. Empathy Empathy is not:
Adopting other people’s emotions as their own to try and please everyone.
Empathy means:
Taking employee’s feelings into thoughtful consideration and then making intelligent decisions that work those feelings into the response. 

10. The Leadership Styles
As we go through each slide, discuss an example of each rather than reading what’s on the slide.

11. Visionary How it builds resonance: Moves people toward shared dreams
Impact on Climate: Most strongly positive
When Appropriate: When changes require a new vision, or when a clear direction is needed.
MLK

12. Coaching
How it builds resonance: Connects what a person wants with the organization’s goals
Impact on Climate: Highly positive
When Appropriate: To help an employee improve performance by building long-term capabilities
Yoda

13. Affiliative
How it builds resonance: Creates harmony by connecting people to each other
Impact on Climate: Positive
When Appropriate: To heal rifts in a team, motivate during stressful times, or strengthen connections
Joe Torre

14. Democratic
How it builds resonance: Values people’s input and gets commitment through participation
Impact on Climate: Positive
When Appropriate: To build buy-in or consensus, or to get valuable input from employees
Abraham Lincoln

15. Pacesetting
How it builds resonance: Meets challenging and exciting goals
Impact on Climate: Because too frequently poorly executed, often highly negative
When Appropriate: To get high-quality results from a motivated and competent team
For these last too, maybe emphasize that they are to be used sparingly. Then give a good example of each Steve Jobs

16. Commanding
How it builds resonance: Soothes fears by giving clear direction in an emergency
Impact on Climate: Because so often misused, highly negative
When Appropriate: In a crisis, to kick-start a turnaround, or with problem employees
Patton

17. Becoming a Resonant Leader
The Five Discoveries That Cultivate Leading With Emotional Intelligence

18. Self-Directed Learning
For leaders to grow in emotional intelligence, they must take initiative and be responsible for growth and change.
This is a continual process that takes persistence, time, and intentionality.

19. The Five Discoveries

20. The First Discovery: My Ideal Self
Engage the power of your ideal self
Dreams
Desires
Goals
Passion
Energy
Excitement
Persistence
Perseverance
True Change
Take a few minutes to discuss among yourselves your dreams, desires, and values

21. OUGHT Ought vs. Ideal Pursuing the ought of: Bosses Spouses Parents
Do not confuse the ought of others with the ideal self
Pursuing the ought of:
Bosses
Spouses
Parents
prevents pursuit of the ideal self.
OUGHT

22. The Second Discovery – The Real Self
Strengths
Talents
Personal Competencies
Gaps
Automatic
Behavioral Responses
Compromise
Taking stock of your real self starts with an inventory of your talents and passions—the person you actually are as a leader. 
Self-directed learning can start when you can take stock of the parts of yourself that you relish and want to preserve, versus those you’d like to change or adapt to your new circumstances. 
     - Your leaderships strengths—what you want to preserve—lie at the intersection of where your real self matches your ideal. Where reality fails to meet your ideal for yourself as a leader represents your gaps.

23. The Third Discovery – A Learning Agenda
Learning Goals should
Resonate with your dreams
Build on your strengths
Be adaptable to your lifestyle
Be conformed to your learning style
Propel you toward your ideal self
It takes commitment and constant reminders to stay focused on undoing ineffective or harmful leadership habits we’ve learned over the years. 

24. Learning Styles Concrete Experience Model Building Reflection
Concrete Experience: Having an experience that allows them to see and feel what it is like
Reflection: Thinking about their own and others’ experiences
Model Building: Coming up with a theory that makes sense of what they observe
Trial-and-Error Learning: Trying something out by actively experimenting with a new approach
Learning often happens best through a combination of two or three of these modes. 
Model Building
Reflection
Trial & Error

25. The Fourth Discovery – Reconfiguring the Brain
It’s possible to improve if you do three things:
Bring bad habits into awareness
Consciously practice a better way
Rehearse that new behavior at every opportunity until it becomes automatic
By being alert to situations that in the past have triggered our old, dysfunctional leadership habits, we’re better able to choose a new, more positive reaction. 

26. The 5th Discovery – The Power of Relationships
Self
Boss
Co-workers
Friends
Mentors
Experimenting and practicing new habits requires finding safe places and relationships.
In the self-directed learning process, we draw on others every step of the way—from articulating and refining our ideal self and comparing it with the reality, to the final assessment that affirms our progress. 
Experimenting and practicing new habits require finding safe places and relationships.
Seek the truth about yourself and be open to critique by using a 360-degree format from bosses, peers, and subordinates

27. Building Emotionally Intelligent Teams
Giving Life to Your Team’s Future

28. Acknowledging Reality
For leaders to extend emotional intelligence throughout their teams, they need to START by taking a hard look at reality, rather than focusing first on an ideal vision. 
One of the biggest mistakes leaders can make: ignoring the realities of team ground rules and the collective emotions in the tribe and assuming that the force of their leadership alone is enough to drive people’s behavior.
Groups begin to change only when they first have fully grasped the reality of how they function. 
Group members must discover the source of discontent
Ex. At a meeting a team member arrives late, complains about having to come to this building so far away from their office and that they have been in buildings all day. By acknowledging the team members comments by saying in front of the the group “thanks “Dave” for making it. We know how back to back meetings all over campus can really make your day stressful. We are taking about “x”, feel free to jump in when you feel more settled” diffuses the tension in the room and makes “Dave” feel heard. If the leader ignores Dave and continues on with the meeting dave’s energy and attitude will be absorbed by everyone in the meeting. The likely hood of collaboration and productivity is low at this point.
Can you share any examples where acknowledging, or not acknowledging, the reality of the setting affected your meetings?

29. Understanding Norms
A leader must also have an understanding of the norms of the group. 
Norms represent implicit learning at the group level—the tacit rules that we learn by absorbing day-to-day interactions and that we automatically adopt so they can fit smoothly. 
Norms dictate what “feels right” in a given situation, and so govern how people act. 
Ex. A leader walks into a new job and ignores the power of the group’s norms, and pretends that feelings don’t matter. Rather than using resonance-building leadership styles, the leader employs a steamrolling combination of commanding and pacesetting styles. The result is a toxic and rebellious environment.
What types of norms do you believe we have on campus? In your department? In your office?

30. Maximizing the Group’s Emotional Intelligence
As is true with individuals, in teams each of the EI abilities builds on one another in practice
When team members begin to practice self-awareness, noticing the group’s moods and needs, they tend to respond to one another with empathy. 
This leads to the creation of positive norms
At the team level, social awareness—especially empathy—is the foundation that enables a team to build and maintain effective relationships with the rest of the organization.

31. The Empathetic Team
An empathetic team figures out what the whole system really needs and how to help other teams succeed.
It seeks a synergistic relationship between teams. 

32. The Self-Aware Team
A team expresses its self-awareness by being mindful of shared moods as well as of the emotions of individuals within the group. 
Team self-awareness also means creating norms such as listening to everyone’s perspective—including that of a lone dissenter—before a decision is made
Try this in your next meeting to establish new norms: Instead of saying “no” say “yes and” or “yes but.” This may assist in creating a positive culture of collaboration. Or
When a person throws out a new idea the next person to speak must say something in support of that idea, as opposed to shutting down the idea. “Angel Advocate”
Any tips for the group to try and create a more self-aware, positive norms team?

33. The Self-Managed Team Everyone is responsible for:
Keeping the meeting on track
Facilitating group input
Raising questions about group procedures
Using good listening skills
Build on ongoing discussions
Ask if it is ok to change the subject

34. Leading with Lollipops
Explain we are all leaders
Pass out lollipops and encourage people to lead