1. Module Four
Hidden Rules
OBJECTIVE
Understand and give examples of the hidden rules of the three economic classes.
Hidden rules are the unspoken cues and habits of a group. The hidden rules come from the environment in which one was raised or lives.
Let’s go back to the mental models of poverty, middle class, and wealth. As noted above, hidden rules come from those environments. This reinforces the previous information and strengthens the hidden-rule construct.
A child will learn the rules of survival of his/her environment simply by breathing. No flip-chart lessons from Mom are needed.
Hidden rules are easily broken because they are hidden. You know you’ve broken a rule when there’s an awkward silence or perhaps you get “the look”—the look that says, The wheel’s still spinning, but the hamster’s dead or the look one has when something is seen moving in a wastebasket.
We don’t criticize rules of other classes because those rules are used for survival.
(1) Hidden rules help people navigate different and difficult situations. (2) Using them skillfully can help us build resources. (3) Knowing them means we can design programs more skillfully and respectfully. (4) Hidden rules can be used to resolve conflicts. (5) We can understand our own behaviors and values better. (6) We can understand the behaviors and point of view of others. (7) Knowing the hidden rules of all classes can help people in poverty gain power and influence—and move out of poverty if they so choose.
The big problem with hidden rules is that they're seldom articulated. But more importantly, they're equated with intelligence—or a lack thereof (Payne).
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

2. Module Four Hidden Rules Among Classes Presented by: Randie Yeager
Dauphin County
Human Services
Hidden rules are the unspoken cues and habits of a group. The hidden rules come from the environment in which one was raised or lives.
Let’s go back to the mental models of poverty, middle class, and wealth. As noted above, hidden rules come from those environments. This reinforces the previous information and strengthens the hidden-rule construct.
A child will learn the rules of survival of his/her environment simply by breathing. No flip-chart lessons from Mom are needed.
Hidden rules are easily broken because they are hidden. You know you’ve broken a rule when there’s an awkward silence or perhaps you get “the look”—the look that says, The wheel’s still spinning, but the hamster’s dead or the look one has when something is seen moving in a wastebasket.
We don’t criticize rules of other classes because those rules are used for survival.
(1) Hidden rules help people navigate different and difficult situations. (2) Using them skillfully can help us build resources. (3) Knowing them means we can design programs more skillfully and respectfully. (4) Hidden rules can be used to resolve conflicts. (5) We can understand our own behaviors and values better. (6) We can understand the behaviors and point of view of others. (7) Knowing the hidden rules of all classes can help people in poverty gain power and influence—and move out of poverty if they so choose.
The big problem with hidden rules is that they're seldom articulated. But more importantly, they're equated with intelligence—or a lack thereof (Payne).
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

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4. Hidden rules among classes:
“Unspoken clues and habits of a group”.
The worst mistake is to assume that the hidden rules have been given to everyone
People that come from different economic classes believe that the same rules apply to everyone
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

5. DRIVING FORCES POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Survival, relationships, entertainment
MIDDLE CLASS
Work, achievement
WEALTH
Financial, political, social connections
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

6. Give an example of one hidden rule.
Learning Task #4
Talk with one another about the groups that you belong to that have hidden rules.
Give an example of one hidden rule.
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

7. POSSESSIONS POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH People Things
One-of-a-kind objects, legacies, pedigrees
All economic classes like to buy “things,” and the consumer culture of the United States is a strong influence across the board.
In middle class, there is ownership of property, cars, homes, furniture. These are considered possessions.
In poverty, your home and furniture may be rented, but you own people.
The fact that relationships are a driving force in poverty—and that one needs people to survive—is the key to understanding this.
In wealth, you have incredible buying power. A true possession is a one-of-a-kind object, such as an original work of art or an object with a pedigree. In wealth, your antiques have a pedigree (called a provenance), your dog has a pedigree, even your spouse has a “pedigree.”  It would be breaking a hidden rule in wealth to say, “Oh, what a lovely painting … looks like a Picasso! (Of course, it’s an original Picasso.) This is like saying to someone in middle class, “Oh, what a lovely engagement ring … is the diamond real?”
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

8. TIME POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH Present most important
Decisions made for the moment based on feelings or survival
MIDDLE CLASS
In middle class, the environment is stable, people don’t fear for today. The time horizon is two to four years. The future is the primary focus. The present does not take all of your energy. It isn’t about survival but planning and decision making to increase stability. Middle class needs to take yoga to remember there’s a present.  Another piece is that, in middle class, your future depends on your being on time for work and appointments. Once you’re there, it’s expected that business will begin at once … get to the point. This is accepted and expected.
In poverty, the environment is unstable and unpredictable, so it forces people into what Paulo Freire calls the tyranny of the moment; the time horizon is today. It’s a struggle to just survive today. Decisions are made for today. Getting down to business without allowing time to check out what’s happening in your personal life is considered an insult. This is the No. 1 middle-class hidden rule that people in poverty break. They are often late to appointments and work. It’s important that we help people in poverty develop a future story.
One of the worst things about poverty in the U.S. is that people lose their future stories. To end poverty we must help people develop their future stories.
In wealth, the environment is so stable that people don’t fear for today or the future—the time horizon can be one or two decades. The past is a strong focus. There’s a strong sense of continuity, which emphasizes the past. You have been given a legacy from the past, and you will be passing along that legacy to the next generation.
Future most important
Decisions made against future ramifications
WEALTH
Traditions and history most important
Decisions made partially on basis of tradition/decorum
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

9. Future orientation, choice, and power
TOOL
Future orientation,
choice,
and power
In poverty, you are living in the moment and largely basing your decisions on feeling. Thus these three concepts need to be nurtured:
Future Orientation: Tell me how this moment plays out for me in the future; I do not necessarily take the information and do that.
Choice: I am so busy feeling and dealing it, I do not see choice; let me know I have a choice in this moment.
Power: I am often fighting social services, healthcare, and the criminal justice system for power. I do not get treated with respect and power, so I fight for it. 
I can only believe I am the victim when I do NOT have these three concepts.
When I didn't see this coming, I don't believe I choose it, and I’m just thinking YOU did it to me (power). Then I truly am the victim.
However, when I see it coming, I realize I had some choice in it, and I felt I hold power. Then I can make a better-informed decision in the moment AND next time.

10. If you choose, then you’ve chosen.
TOOL
If you choose,
then you’ve chosen.
This is a sentence that can be used to nurture the three concepts.
“If YOU choose” means you’re in charge (power) and that there is choice ...
“Then you have chosen” builds future orientation.
If you use this sentence, you must use it twice. Don't just tell me what one behavior gets me. Talk to me about what two totally different behaviors will get me.
If you use this sentence, the "then you’ve chosen" part must be meaningful to the person you are speaking to, NOT to you. Often this means “Get off the achievement-based statement and show me how this affects me and my relationships.”

11. MONEY MONEY POVERTY To be used, spent MIDDLE CLASS To be managed
In poverty, the arithmetic of life doesn’t work; reinforce the mental model of poverty. When money comes, it will be spent because there are so many needs and wants that you have had to do without for so long. Money is spent to pay the bills, for entertainment, and for relationships (it is given to friends in need). This is directly related to the “moment living” brought about by surviving in poverty. People in poverty are criticized and judged for this rule.
In middle class, money is to be managed. How many of you pay your rent and bills, save a little back, and with what is left, go out to dinner and a movie? Someone who mismanages money is not planning for the future; this is actually discouraged. It’s a balance, however, because consumerism drives all classes to spend, and the middle class debt load is very high. It’s not only the poor who are using the payday lenders but also the working poor and some people in middle class.
In wealth, spending is considered “liability”; long-term investments are the passion. Since financial resources are so vast, they must be handled by professionals. The long-term investment plan can extend to 100 years. This is the legacy from the past that must not be invaded. It is now your legacy—for generations to come. You always have the sense that you are the past for future generations.
MIDDLE CLASS
To be managed
WEALTH
To be conserved, invested
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

12. LOVE POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Love and acceptance conditional, based on whether individual is liked
MIDDLE CLASS
In middle class, relationships are important and expected to be whole and balanced. Instability is frowned upon. In poverty, love and acceptance are unconditional because everyone is struggling, so you cannot emotionally sanction or punish people for “who they are.”
For example, Uncle John is out of work for nine months and losing his housing.
In poverty, will you let him come stay with you? (Audience will say yes.) When Uncle John comes to stay, it isn’t conditional on whether he does the dishes, watches the kids, fixes the car, etc. He is allowed to stay, and it isn’t based on what he “does.”
In middle class, will you let him come stay with you? (Some audience members say they would rather pay his rent for a few months!) If you let him come stay with you, you have a plan for him! He has to go to 3.5 job interviews per week, hold his own on the household chores, etc. Middle class has a plan for him, and it is based on his work and achievement.
In wealth, losing your money is bad. You have invaded your investments, your legacy, and you’re in jeopardy of losing your connections. This is the worst.
Love and acceptance conditional and based largely on achievement
WEALTH
Love and acceptance conditional and related to social standing and connections

13. SOCIAL EMPHASIS POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Social inclusion of people he/she likes
In poverty, working for and with someone you like is a good thing. Working for someone who doesn’t respect you cannot be tolerated. Arguments and perhaps fights arise over disrespect. You will quit your job if you don’t like the boss.
In middle class, you include people who stay on track, who are self-governing and self-sufficient. Your children (for their entire lives) are pretty much an exception to this rule!  Arguments arise when someone makes bad choices and is not self-sufficient.
In wealth, you are excluded if you are not connected. If you aren’t connected, you aren’t “seen.” No argument.
What is the difference between a relationship in poverty and a connection in wealth? In poverty, you are pretty much in as long as there is respect and you aren’t a snob. In wealth, if you need your connection, you might pursue the relationship even if you can’t stand the person.
MIDDLE CLASS
Emphasis is on self-governance and self-sufficiency
WEALTH
Emphasis is on social exclusion
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

14. PERSONALITY POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Is for entertainment Sense of humor is highly valued
In poverty, personality and humor are appreciated. These are your legacy! When it gets really tough, it’s way better to crack a joke than cry. Humor is used to avoid confrontation. This can work against you if you make jokes and laugh when the judge is sentencing you.
In middle class, your personality will be brought to bear to help you get ahead at work and school, and your sense of humor is valued because it helps you keep perspective. It works against your outcomes as a service provider if you cannot appreciate the humor of individuals in poverty.
In wealth, personality and humor are used full force to make and maintain connections.
MIDDLE CLASS
Is for acquisition and stability Achievement is highly valued
WEALTH
Is for connections
Financial, political, social connections are highly valued
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

15. FOOD POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH Key question: Did you have enough?
Quantity important
The hidden rules on food are one of the best illustrations of how hidden rules arise out of environments, resources, and conditions. [This slide is often used following the Driving Forces with the Key Points module.]
One of the areas we have hidden rules about is food. Food is very important because food is often the line between being destitute and merely being poor. The issue around food in poverty is quantity. The question after a meal is "Are you full? Did you have enough?"
In middle class, people have too much food. There is always enough. They're always on this or that diet. So the issue around food is quality. The question after the meal is "Did you like it? Was it good?"
In wealth, there is always enough food, and it’s always good because you aren’t doing the cooking. You have a personal chef. The issue around food is presentation. The question after a meal is "Was it artistically presented? Did it have aesthetic appeal? Did it go with the theme?"
MIDDLE CLASS
Key question:
Did you like it?
Quality important
WEALTH
Key question:
Was it presented well?
Presentation important
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

16. CLOTHING POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Clothing valued for individual style and expression of personality
Of all the hidden rules, this one is the most challenged by audiences. People say, “My cash-assistance customers are better dressed than I am.” In other words, the label is now important in both poverty and middle class.
MIDDLE CLASS
Clothing values for its quality and acceptance into norm of middle class
Label important
WEALTH
Clothing valued for its artistic sense and expression
Designer important
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

17. DESTINY POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH Believes in fate
Cannot do much to mitigate chance
In poverty, choice is often the better of two bad choices, and energy is used putting out “fires” because you couldn’t stop bad things from happening. Once something bad happens, it cascades into a series of events over which you have little control. You are fated, and you’ve “just got bad luck.”
In middle class, a stable future is linked to choice. The focus is on preventing bad things from happening. When bad choices are made, the resources are usually high enough to stop more bad things from happening. This class is strongly driven toward the everlasting positive impact of choice.
In wealth, noblesse oblige means you are privileged and responsible for giving back to create a better world for the less fortunate. You’ve “just got good luck.” Giving back takes on many forms and includes donations of libraries and cultural arts centers to raise the level of education and aesthetics and fund-raising for causes that increase health and well-being for the less fortunate. In a sense you are “fated” to be privileged and give back. The resources are so significant, the choices so wide, that choice is really not the primary focus. When bad choices are made, there are more than enough resources to mitigate the problem.
MIDDLE CLASS
Believes in choice
Can change future with good choices now
WEALTH
Noblesse oblige
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

18. EDUCATION POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Valued and revered as abstract but not as reality
Education in poverty is valued, but the resources are lower. This puts parents in a precarious position when it comes to the actual procedures of negotiating the way for the child to get a better education. The system is expected to take care of the child’s education. That’s what you pay taxes for.
Education is the both the journey and goal in middle class. It is sought throughout your entire life, not only for climbing the ladder and making money, but for the wonderful adventure and insights it brings to life. It is a matter of identity—the lifelong learner. Middle-class parents pressure public schools, demanding better environments, materials, and teachers. Middle class has the resource power to negotiate better schools.
In wealth, education is expected to be exceptional. Only the best private schools and tutors are engaged. School is where children make connections and are chosen based on tradition—the school grandfather attended. Parents use their connections to secure their child’s education in the right schools. This is not only true of Ivy League colleges but of the “Baby Ivies”—pre-schools in New York City regarding which parents will go to great lengths to ensure that their child attends. (Kozol) You don’t wait for college to establish your connections; it is done in pre-school.
MIDDLE CLASS
Crucial for climbing success ladder and making money
WEALTH
Necessary tradition for making and maintaining connections
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

19. WORLD VIEW POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Sees world in terms of local setting
World views are relative to transportation, work, and leisure. Many individuals in poverty have never been beyond the county or city in which they live. Transportation is a recurring barrier.
Middle-class individuals frequently take vacations and travel for work within the United States and sometimes in other countries.
Wealth has the leisure and means to travel extensively throughout the world.
MIDDLE CLASS
Sees world in terms of national setting
WEALTH
Sees world in terms of international view
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

20. HUMOR POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH About people and sex
About situations
WEALTH
About social faux pas
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

21. FAMILY STRUCTURE POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH Tends to be matriarchal
This hidden rule is dealt with in detail in a subsequent module.
MIDDLE CLASS
Tends to be patriarchal
WEALTH
Depends on who has the money
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

22. LANGUAGE POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH
Casual register Language is about survival
This hidden rule is dealt with in a subsequent module.
MIDDLE CLASS
Formal register Language is about negotiation
WEALTH
Formal register
Language is about networking
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

23. POWER POVERTY MIDDLE CLASS WEALTH Power linked to personal respect
Ability to fight
Can’t stop bad things from happening
In poverty, personal respect is worth fighting for. Jim works a rough job in Oklahoma. When Jim has had enough of his boss’s “stupidity,” he’ll go up to him and quietly hiss “You’re an idiot. I’m outta here.“ Jim knows he can always get a similar job. Jim says he likes working at places where people don’t have to play stupid “games.”
Middle class separates power and respect. Think of a boss or supervisor who didn’t show you respect. You probably didn't go face to face and call your boss an idiot. What did you do? Look for another job. One of the hidden rules in middle class is that you don’t quit one job before you have another. When you give notice, you have to stay at least two more weeks. This is expected. Your letter of resignation does not say, “Dear Boss, You have redefined the word stupidity.” It begins … “Thank you for the opportunities you have given me …” Another hidden rule of work in middle class: Don’t burn bridges. Institutions are run on middle-class rules. Those who work in those institutions represent the dominant culture. Their power is invisible to them, but dominated people (including those in poverty) are hypersensitive to power. The first thing they see when they come into the office is the color of the person behind the desk; the next thing they see is power.
In wealth, if someone cuts you off in traffic, there’s no tailgating and emotional flipping of fingers. A phone call is made to an powerful “connection.” The offending driver is pulled over for some traffic infraction within the hour. On a broader scale, the wealthy sit at “the table” and have the power and connections to influence national and international policy, as well as to change systems they don’t like.
Our goal is to bring all classes to the table.
MIDDLE CLASS
Power/respect separated
Responds to position
Power in information and institutions
WEALTH
Power in expertise, connections
Power in stability
Influences policy and direction
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

24. Survival, relationships, entertainment (Consolidating the future)
DRIVING FORCES
POVERTY
Survival, relationships, entertainment
(Living the moment)
MIDDLE CLASS
Work, achievement,
material security
(Planning)
WEALTH
Financial, political,
social connections
(Consolidating the future)

25. Continued Learning Task #4
In groups of 2 or 3, review 2 of the hidden rules.
Describe the understandable reasons for those rules.
Discuss how those hidden rules play out between/among individuals in poverty and middle class.
Explore how staff can use this information to make relationships more meaningful. What can be done to improve outcomes?
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

26. What Can You Do in the Work and Agency Setting?
Hidden Rules
Direct-teach the hidden rules.
Teach that there are 3 sets of rules.
Understand the hidden rules of your work/agency setting.
Understand the hidden rules that customers and employees bring with them.
Don’t try to discuss or reframe hidden rules unless there is a relationship of mutual respect.
Use the understanding of hidden rules to create relationships of mutual respect.
Hidden rules are best presented as a choice rather than a matter of identity. The more rules one knows the more games he/she can play.
The hidden rules can’t and shouldn’t be used to predict another person’s behavior or make assumptions about them. People tend to use (or have) rules from different classes. Knowing the hidden rules means you won’t be surprised by the rules people use.
The wider the range of your responses the more control you have over your situation—and the more opportunities become open to you.
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

27. Hidden rules (Choice: two sets)
Emotional
Spiritual
Mental
Financial
Physical
Bridging
This is another mental model (or two-dimensional drawing) of resources.
Trace your hand and label the parts of the hand.
As you analyze the case study, write a rating of 1–5 or a question mark in each part of the hand that represents the different resources. “5” is the highest score and represents an “above average” level of that resource.
Write the names of the individual’s bonding and bridging social capital in the circles.
[Explanation of this mental model:
Financial is on the little finger because it is only one of the resources that define poverty. Financial resources are important but far from everything.
Emotional is on the middle finger because that’s the finger we sometimes use when we get emotional. 
Spiritual points the way—gives direction and purpose.
The thumb helps us in grasping objects. It represents the physical resources.
Support systems (social capital) is on the palm of the hand. We use this part to shake hands or hold hands.
Hidden rules (being able to use more than one set) is on the wrist, which guides the movement of the hand.]
Support systems
Role models
Bonding ?
Hidden rules (Choice: two sets)
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

28. Poverty Characteristics
Poverty “is the extension to which an individual does without resources”
“Poverty is first and foremost a lack of resources and opportunities”.
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

29. Poverty Characteristics (Cont.)
Poverty is relative. The biggest difference between generational poverty and middle class are not exclusively about money.
Poverty or wealth only exits in relationship to known quantities or expectations.
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

30. Poverty is not exclusive
The oppression of the moment and the tyranny of the urgent
Being poor does not nothing to do with intelligence; it is about survive
Poverty is in relationship with human and social capital in the community
It is basically a behavior of the individual.
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

31. Hidden rules in poverty:
Conversation is participatory: Noise environment; more than one person talking at a time.
Importance of personality: Since there is not money, ability to entertain is highly valuated.
Importance of relationships: It brings people upon whom to rely.
Sense of humor: Entertainment is a key aspect
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

32. Hidden rules in poverty (1)(Cont.)
Oral-language tradition: Casual register is commonly used
Survival orientation: A job is to make money to survive; it is not about a career
Lack of planning and organization skills
Importance of non-verbal communication: Touch is an aspect and non-verbal emotional information
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

33. Hidden rules in poverty (2)(Cont.)
Ownership of people: People are possession.
Negative orientation: Failure at anything is the source of stories
Discipline: Punishment is about penance and forgiveness, not change
Belief in fate: Choice is seldom considered
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

34. Hidden rules in poverty (3)(Cont.)
Time: Future does not exist. Everything happens just in the present
Lives in the moment: Poverty culture does not consider future ramifications
Economic traits: struggle for survival unemployment & under employment,
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

35. Hidden rules in poverty (4)(Cont.)
Economic traits: Low wages, unskilled occupations, absence of saving
a chronic shortage of cash, absence of food.
Buying of small quantities
Borrowing from local lenders
Second hand clothing and furniture
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

36. Getting Out of Poverty
Education and relationships help one move out of poverty
Four basic things that have facilitated people get out of poverty:
It is too painful
Vision or goal
A key relationship
Special talent or skills
Copyright © 2006 aha! Process, Inc.

37. Could you survive in poverty?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______ 1. I know which churches and sections of town have the best rummage sales.
______ 2. I know which rummage sales have “bag sales” and when.
______ 3. I know which grocery stores’ garbage bins can be accessed for thrown-away food.
______ 4. I know how to get someone out of jail.
______ 5. I know how to physically fight and defend myself physically.
______ 6. I know how to get a gun, even if I have a police record.
______ 7. I know how to keep my clothes from being stolen at the Laundromat.
______ 8. I know what problems to look for in a used car.
______ 9. I know how to live without a checking account.
______10. I know how to live without electricity and a phone.
______11. I know how to use a knife as scissors.
______12. I can entertain a group of friends with my personality and my stories.
______13. I know what to do when I don’t have money to pay the bills.
______14. I know how to move in half a day.
______15. I know how to get and use food stamps or an electronic card for benefits.
______16. I know where the free medical clinics are.
______17. I am very good at trading and bartering.
______18. I can get by without a car.
[For this OHT and the next two slides ...]
In Bridges Out of Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth. [Cut the statements apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" the affluent who have the connections to move a community toward sustainability.
Also, If you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.
[Someone in the audience could be from generational poverty, so be sure you aren't condescending toward or critical of any group.]

38. Could you survive in middle class?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______1. I know how to get my children into Little League, piano lessons, soccer, etc.
______2. I know how to set a table properly.
______3. I know which stores are most likely to carry the clothing brands my family wears.
______4. My children know the best name brands in clothing.
______5. I know how to order in a nice restaurant.
______6. I know how to use a credit card, checking account, and savings account—and I understand an annuity. I understand term life insurance, disability insurance, and 20/80 medical insurance policy, as well as house, and flood, and replacement insurance.
______7. I talk to my children about going to college.
______8. I know how to get one of the best interest rates on my new-car loan.
______9. I understand the difference among the principal, interest, and escrow statements on my house payment.
______10. I know how to help my children with their homework and do not hesitate to call the school if I need additional information.
______11. I know how to decorate the house for the different holidays.
______12. I know how to get a library card.
______13. I know how to use most of the tools in the garage.
______14. I repair items in my house almost immediately when they break—or know a repair service and call it.
Could you survive in middle class?
In Bridges Out of Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth. [Cut the statements apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" the affluent who have the connections to move a community toward sustainability.
Also, if you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.

39. Could you survive in wealth?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______1. I can read a menu in French, English, and another language.
______ I have several favorite restaurants in different countries of the world.
______3. During the holidays, I know how to hire a decorator to identify the appropriate themes and items with which to decorate the house.
______4. I know who my preferred financial advisor, legal service, designer, domestic-employment service, and hairdresser are.
______5. I have at least two residences that are staffed and maintained.
______6. I know how to ensure confidentiality and loyalty from my domestic staff.
______7. I have at least two or three “screens” that keep people whom I do not wish to see away from me.
______8. I fly in my own plane or the company plane.
______9. I know how to enroll my children in the preferred private schools.
______ I know how to host the parties that “key” people attend.
______ I am on the boards of at least two charities.
______ I know the hidden rules of the Junior League.
______ I support or buy the work of a particular artist.
______ I know how to read a corporate financial statement and analyze my own financial statements.
Could you survive in wealth?
In Bridges Out of Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth. [Cut the statements apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" the affluent who have the connections to move a community toward sustainability.
Also, if you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.
[Someone in the audience could be from old money, so be sure you aren't condescending toward or critical of any group.]

40. No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.
–Dr. James Comer
There are four main reasons one leaves poverty: (1) It’s too painful to stay, (2) a vision or goal, (3) a key relationship, and/or (4) a special talent or skill. Education also can be a bridge out of poverty.
No significant learning—and no significant change—occurs without a significant relationship.
Talk at your table about the changes your organization expects from customers.
Most of our organizations ask people in poverty to change their thinking and their behavior. It all hinges on the quality of our relationships. When we develop community-engagement models, everyone can be transformed by the relationships.
SEQUENCE:
Bridges Out of Poverty introduces a perspective to help us understand that economic class brings a sense of identity with it. We’ll discuss how we can reframe our own thinking in order to build and maintain relationships with someone who may not come “wired” for middle-class structures and organizations.
REINFORCEMENT:
By building relationships of mutual respect with our customers and employees, we’re assisting them in building resources needed to move toward stability or maintain it. AND we can be transformed too.

41. “If you always do what you have always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
Anonymous
THANK YOU!
There are four main reasons one leaves poverty: (1) It’s too painful to stay, (2) a vision or goal, (3) a key relationship, and/or (4) a special talent or skill. Education also can be a bridge out of poverty.
No significant learning—and no significant change—occurs without a significant relationship.
Talk at your table about the changes your organization expects from customers.
Most of our organizations ask people in poverty to change their thinking and their behavior. It all hinges on the quality of our relationships. When we develop community-engagement models, everyone can be transformed by the relationships.
SEQUENCE:
Bridges Out of Poverty introduces a perspective to help us understand that economic class brings a sense of identity with it. We’ll discuss how we can reframe our own thinking in order to build and maintain relationships with someone who may not come “wired” for middle-class structures and organizations.
REINFORCEMENT:
By building relationships of mutual respect with our customers and employees, we’re assisting them in building resources needed to move toward stability or maintain it. AND we can be transformed too.