1. School Psychology Best Practices With Military Families
This module is designed to increase awareness among school psychologists, school psychology graduate students, counselors and other educators who work with military and military connected youth and families.
This ppt can be used in graduate training programs and to conduct staff development trainings for educators.
Dr. Pisano has worked in the Ft. Bragg Schools for 34 years as a school psychologist (as of 2017). He is a licensed psychological associate in North Carolina and has worked in the private practice setting for 22 years. He is the co-author of the Kimochis Activity Kit for Military Families which is a social emotional learning tool designed to help military children and their family manage their emotions and stay connected throughout the deployment cycle.
Prepared by: Mark C. Pisano, Ed.D., NCSP
United States Dept. of Defense & Ft. Bragg Schools
Chair, Military Families Interest Group, National Association of School Psychologists

2. Contributions & Acknowledgment
Contributors:
E. Wendy O'Sullivan, BA, B.Ed. & Jamie Albers, MS - School Liaison Officers, U.S. Army Garrison Fort Belvoir
Dede Bailor, PhD, Coordinator, School Psychology Services - Fairfax County Public Schools, Fairfax, VA
Melissa A. Louvar Reeves, Ph.D., NCSP – President, National Association of School Psychologists ( )
This ppt can be used in graduate training programs and to conduct staff development trainings for educators as well as mental health providers.
Permission is given to modify content to align with local needs; if referenced please acknowledge appropriately: “From [or “Adapted from”] Pisano, M. et. al. (2016). School Psychology Best Practices With Military Families. National Association of School Psychologists.
School Psychology Best Practices With Military Families

3. Objectives
List three ways military deployment impacts children and families at home
List three ways military deployment impacts children at school
List three strategies to assist children and families at home during deployment
List three strategies to assist children in school during deployment
Deployment can have a great impact on our military families. By increasing our understanding of the impact of deployment and what families experience before, during, and after deployment (reintegration), we can better provide supports to our military families and youth.

4. Introductory Thoughts
Military families serve, too.
Close to 2 million kids have a parent in military.
About half are National Guard and Reserve families.
Many service members have mental health struggles upon returning.
Marital discord during reintegration has led to a battle for kids.
Suicides (more than those killed in action-KIA)
Multiple deployments/family moves (PCS-Permanent Change of Station)
Reintegration difficulties
Close to 2 million kids have a parent in the military ( 2012)
Service members and mental health struggles (Institute of Medicine, 2013)
Marital discord (The Psychological Needs of US Military Service Members and Their Families: A Preliminary Report, 2007)
More suicides than killed in action (KIA) (PBS News hour. More US Troops Died by Suicide than in Afghanistan Combat in 2012)
The Difficult Reintegration of Soldiers to Society and Family after Deployment by Beth Wegner 2011
The Pentagon reported in May 2016 that 265 active-duty service members killed themselves last year, continuing a trend of unusually high suicide rates that have plagued the U.S. military for at least seven years.
The number of suicides among troops was 145 in 2001 and began a steady increase until more than doubling to 321 in 2012, the worst year in recent history for service members killing themselves.
The suicide rate for the Army that year was nearly 30 suicides per 100,000 soldiers, well above the national rate of 12.5 per 100,000 for 2012.Military suicides dropped 20% the year after that, and then held roughly steady at numbers significantly higher than during the early 2000s. The 265 suicides last year compares with 273 in 2014 and 254 in By contrast, from 2001 through 2007, suicides never exceeded 197.
Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment. The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. Longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

5. The NASP Practice Model includes multiple areas that can positively impact military youth (i.e. consultation and collaboration, Student-Level Services, Systems Level Services, and using data to drive decisions for interventions and needed services.)

6. Deployment Stages: Physical and Emotional
5 major deployment stages and 7 emotional stages

7. Deployment Stages Emotional Stages Physical Stages
Anticipate departure
Detachment
Disorganization
Recovery and Stable
Anticipate return
Renegotiation
Reintegration
Physical Stages
Predeployment
Deployment (Sustainment)
R & R (Rest and Relaxation)
Reunion (Homecoming)
Reintegration
The physical stages are further explained in an article from GX Magazine May 19, 2015:
Later in this ppt, the physical and emotional stages will be reviewed in detail; but, for now, here is a quick explanation of each stage:
Pre-Deployment (varies depending on the specialty area of service member). Some families receive upwards of several months notice of a deployment while special forces families only get a few hours notice ….or less. Typical for families to experience:
anticipation of loss vs. denial
training/long hours away
getting affairs in order
mental/physical/emotional distance
arguments
Pre-deployment (1st month)
The first stage, characterized by periods of denial and anticipated loss, begins after military members receive the warning order for deployment.
military spouses may begin to feel psychologically alone, as their spouses prepare to depart. Typically, military members begin to train and bond with their unit, inadvertently creating an emotional and physical distance between spouses.
frustration of the impending deployment can cause arguments between couples; often, it can be worked through. but for some couples, especially those experiencing an extended separation for the first time, arguments escalate easily.
Sustainment (beyond 1st month) Deployment
This stage usually extends through the first month following the initial deployment.
Throughout this phase, emotions constantly fluctuate.
sustainment is part of that Deployment stage where things begin to improve slightly as a new routine becomes established in the family functioning. .
also a period of establishing new sources of support, such as the Family Readiness Group (FRG), and building self-confidence
R & R (Rest and Relaxation)
the mid point of deployment where the soldier returns home for about 2 weeks and is part of most deployments; there are a few who don’t have R & R.
The 2 week period can be a very happy yet challenging stage of the deployment
literature does not recognize R & R as an official ‘stage’ of deployment but it is a vital part of the deployment wheel and SHOULD be included.
** R & R is also known as Rest and Recuperation - dependent on length of deployment and mission requirements.
Reunion (last month)
Typically, the Reunion stage includes the month prior to a military member’s homecoming. Characteristically, this is a time of anticipation and excitement and marks the end of the deployment.
Reintegration (3-6 months after deployment).
This is a very challenging part of the deployment cycle which can be compounded by PTSD or any other new condition the service member may bring home with them from being in theatre.
Last phase in the emotional cycle is usually the most complicated.
Once military members return home, they are greeted by their excited children and loving spouses. This can be considered the honeymoon period, as military members reunite physically with their spouse, but not emotionally.
Emotional Stages: The emotional cycle of an extended deployment, six months or greater, is readily divided into seven distinct stages. Each stage is characterized both by a time frame and specific emotional challenges, which must be dealt with and mastered by each of the Family members. Failure to adequately negotiate these challenges can lead to significant strife - both for Family members and the deployed Soldier. 
Presenter Notes: The physical stages of deployment are inconsistently described in the literature. The majority of references omit R and R as a specific stage in the deployment wheel. This R and R stage is emotionally significant with both happiness and frustration….I will explain later in this presentation.
The Emotional Stages also have some variation when listed in the literature but these 7 are widely accepted as the core emotional stages.
References: Department of Defense Deployment Guide updated 2012:
Emotional Stages from Dr. Erik De Soir’s Handbook of the Sociology of the Military (2006). Emotional stages also explained:

8. Deployment Cycle Deploy Rest and Relaxation Reunion Reintegrate
Predeploy
This wheel depicts the never ending deployment cycle for our service members. Since withdrawing many of our service members from the Middle East over the past few years, the gap between deployments has increased. Service members now may have upwards of a year or more between deployments.
During the height of the Gulf War, it was common for services members to rotate a new deployment about every 8 months of being home. One of the problems with this short length of reintegration is that the service member was not given a chance to fully reintegrate back into society or his/her family.
The literature notes the reintegration process to take between a few months to years depending on the service member.
Guard and Reserve have a slightly different list of deployment phases Department of Defense Deployment Guide updated 2012:

9. Active Duty vs. Guard/Reserve
Units are based at major military installations.
Full-time soldiers who expect to be deployed
Families are left at their post where a variety of support is in place both on- post & in communities.
Live on-post or nearby; other family support
Access to a variety of health, welfare, & educational services
Support groups in place through soldier’s unit.
Guard/Reserve
Units are small & based in local communities.
Part-time citizen soldiers, often working with local police, fire, EMS.
Families may be left in a town with little or no support services.
Likely to work within local communities
Can’t relocate easily when activated
Lack of military related health services
Need to make use of family or local supports (church, etc.) though Family Readiness Groups (FRG) are very helpful
Active Duty
Army Community Services (ACS) is an organization on every US military base designed to support the active duty military families. This office provides standardized, effective and efficient services, facilities and infrastructure to soldiers, families and civilians for an army and nation engaged in persistent conflict.
Perhaps the biggest support military families have is Each Other. Active duty families often rely on neighbor and other families in their unit for support. Active duty members may live on or off the installation, which can impact ease of which they can access services (if live on base the services are close by and easier to access).
Guard/Reserve
As civilians, Reserve families do not have military families living next door. There are programs available for Reserve and Guard families, however having Each Other for support can be harder for these families as family reserve units do not always reside close to one another or in the same neighborhood.
Reserve and Guard families have a support service available called Fort Family which is a 24/7 which serves as a single gateway to responsive family crisis assistance. Yellow Ribbon events are routinely hosted by command to help reserve/guard families prepare for and stay strong during and after a deployment. Military One Source is also available to provide information and make referrals.

10. Military Personnel 1,341,665 military family personnel Men = 84%
Women = 16%
Married = 52%
with children = 36%
without children = 16%
Single = 47%
with children = 6%
without children = 42%
Military family personnel current as of September 2016: 2016 Data from the Defense Manpower Data Center:
Military One Source, 2014 Demographics -

11. Did you know….
More than 50% of military spouses report stress; up 20% from 4 years ago.
Children of service members are 2.5 times more likely to develop psychological problems.
44% of military children have moderate-to-difficult emotional or behavioral difficulties.
NBC News 2009, National Military Family Association 2011

12. Predeployment Positive aspects of deployment for children and families
Gain independence
Strengthen relationships
Increases abilities to face new challenges
Can enhance maturity
Can foster flexibility
Military children often become resilient through the various demands placed on them from parent deployments. In the predeployment stage, children are preparing for their parent’s departure. New responsibilities are often put on the children which can make them more mature and independent.

13. Predeployment Time frame is variable.
Special Operation units (Special Ops) sometimes only have a few hours notice
NG/R (National Guard/Reserve) orders may be a phone call and letter giving advanced notice (sometimes 10 months)
It doesn’t get easier with more deployments.
Anticipate departure (emotional cycle 1)
Detachment and Withdrawal (emotional cycle 2)
Depending on what specialty the service member belongs with, they may get no notice or several months notice prior to deployment.
It is common for families to report that deployments do not get easier to manage the more they occur. Families with upwards of 5 deployments report that the service member return home each time with something ‘different’ about them. There is an Anticipation that families experience prior to deployment worrying about this as well as worrying about their loved one’s safety. This Anticipation of the Departure represents the first stage of the emotional cycle.
Detachment and Withdrawal is the second stage of the emotional cycle and usually occurs about 1 week before deployment prompting confusion, anger and pulling away. The service member is usually already mentally deployed and seems distant in the eyes of family members. It is often hard for the family to emotionally connect at this time.
Children need one on one time with the deploying parent and typically will exchange a small gift or token that each can hold on to (to feel connected) while separated; such as a rabbits foot, marble, doll, stuffed animal, etc.

14. During Deployment(s)
Stateside, families may relocate by choice when service member is away.
while they may have emotional support from their families, they could lose their housing allowance
This resettlement can impact local economies and remove active duty families from bases and unit resources into civilian localities.
Deployment time periods may be fixed or open ended or start as fixed and become extended.
Emotional disorganization (emotional cycle 3)
Recovery and stabilization (emotional cycle 4)
It is not unusual for nondeployed spouses to relocate with their children to be close to family. Support from extended family is often sought by military families during a deployment; especially if the nondeployed spouse has difficulty with being alone and functioning independently. It is not unusual for both parents to feel ‘relief’ when the service member actually leaves. At that point, both adults can begin a new chapter in their lives.
Emotional Disorganization is the third stage in the emotional cycle and can be experienced at home with feelings of abandonment, loss, pain and disorganization. Children can feel this as well but will typically follow the lead of the home parent on how to react for the first few weeks of the deployment.
As a new routine at home is created and the family adjusts to the soldier parent not being there, a sense of Recovery and Stabilization emerges. This fourth stage of the emotional cycle is the goal all service member families strive for; establishing a new family routine. Routine is critical towards getting the family stable in their new lifestyle without the service member parent.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

15. During Deployment(s) Expect stress-related reactions.
Maintaining established routine is helpful.
Help families help their children cope.
Pay attention to school related issues
ADHD diagnosis rises?
Communication may be inconsistent based on technology where soldier is located.
Deployments impact people differently.
Children, deployed parent, nondeployed parent
School related issues associated with deployment stress in children can present the same as what is seen with ADHD.
Children struggling with parent deployment stress might appear distracted, withdrawn, low self esteem, drop in grades, daydreaming, overly active among other things.
Teachers may be likely to describe these symptoms as a reflection of ADHD when in reality they are symptoms of deployment stress.
This is an example of the importance of knowing that a child is part of a military family. There are instances when guard and reserve parents wish to keep their military affiliation secret from the school. Efforts are being made in many states to make it mandatory for families to disclose their military affiliation.
Deployments impact people differently depending on their coping skills and experience.
One of the main components to children managing the stress of a deployment lies with how well the nondeployed spouse is managing the deployment;
if the nondeployed mother (or father) is struggling with the deployment, then usually the child is also struggling
*References: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :
Flake. E.M., Davis. B.E., Johnson. P.L. & Middleton. L.S. (2009). The Psychosocial Effects of Deployment on Military Children. Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatric, 30(4),

16. Rest and Relaxation (R&R)
Midway through the deployment cycle – in rare cases, this stage does not occur.
Heightened expectations are not always met.
Extremely emotional time
Needs and expectations MUST be discussed prior to soldier returning; everyone in the family may be needing something different
Anticipation of return (emotional cycle 5)
** R & R is Rest and Relaxation; also not all deployed soldiers receive this approx. 2 week break, dependent on length of deployment and mission requirements.
This stage of the deployment cycle occurs midway through the deployment when the service member returns home for a brief period; usually a week to 10 days (some instances its two weeks).
This period is often described as the most difficult in the cycle due to the brevity of the time together. The family is excited to be together but the family routine for the last months now changes for those days with the service member home
Who will be in charge now that he/she is home? Do individual chores change now? Will he/she let the kids go to their friends’ house? Who will decide what we are going to do as a family?
Each person in the family typically has different needs during the brief time. Children want to be with soldier parent – soldier parent needs rest – nondeployed spouse wants a break away from stress of managing the family.
It will be important for the nondeployed spouse to tell the children what to expect upon the return of the service member: to allow dad/mom time to sleep all day when they return, just because they want to sleep doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you, when dad/mom is ready, we can talk about what we all want to do together.
The Anticipation of Return is the fifth emotional stage and often generates much nervousness and excitement. There is a yearning to have the family together again but there is also uncertainty about how well the family will function with the service member back in the family dynamic.
In Anticipating the Return, it is not unusual for family members to have trouble sleeping (due to apprehension), change in appetite, grades drop in school, mood swings.

17. Homecoming/Reunion A new balance in the family structure
Returns (sometimes only 12 months)
Renegotiation (emotional cycle 6)
Combat stress
Family emergencies
Medical
Death
The new balance in the family is captured in the sixth emotional stage: Renegotiation. This stage finds roles and responsibilities among family members being revisited, discussed and determined. The challenge for families is to create a shared sense of purpose after deployment.
Steps for families could center on:
Understanding each other’s sense of purpose
It is not unusual for service members to only be home for about a year before another deployment. This is a stage where the husband and wife are together physically but not emotionally (much like the predeployment stage). The adjustments can often be impacted by some dynamic of PTSD.
Nondeployed spouses often report that their returning soldiers are in some way different than when they left to be deployed; either with their mannerisms, the way they look or act, or a physical injury. On rare occasions, service members are allowed to return home for family medical emergencies or deaths in their family.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

18. Post-Deployment/Reintegration
Everyone needs to readjust their lives as different people.
The incidence of divorce, domestic violence, child abuse, and other adjustment disorders can be high.
Support and help is available; medical, psychological, social.
Community agencies and veteran support groups can also be strong resources.
Reintegration (emotional cycle 7)
Not only does the service member change, but the family members also change.
Children may develop more maturity and the nondeployed spouse may develop new skills and hobbies that make them more self sufficient or different in some ways than they were during the predeployment.
The seventh stage in the emotional cycle is Reintegration. The process of Reintegration can last up to a year or more.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

19. Predeployment Interventions
Preparing for the soldier parent’s departure

20. Reassure Kids
This is mom and/or dad’s job and that it is not your fault.
Service members engaging in more pre-deployment preparation activities reported higher satisfaction with parenting post-deployment.
Reassure child that the deployed person will stay in touch as often as possible.
They (child) will be missed.
Provide pictures/videos of where parent will be.
Prepare for family events (keep routine).
Allow separate time for each child with soldier (exchange gifts).
Video tape the service member reading a book with each child or talking to each child - helps the child feel connected throughout the deployment
**POPULAR USO Program:
Finds from the RAND study noted that predeployment preparation activities reported higher satisfaction with their familial reintegration. Ideally, the deploying parent will give each child of the family one on one time prior to deployment.
The predeployment stage is when the following should be discussed:
Both parents should talk with the children about how the family will communicate during the deployment.
Assurances should be given that just because the deployed parent may not be able to talk or skype with the family does NOT mean that they don’t love you.
Sometimes the service member has no access to technology.
Video taping the service member with each child is a great way to help the child feel connected throughout the deployment.
It is common for young children to want to watch the video every night before bedtime.
Maintaining routines will be important.
For example, Friday night can continue to be ‘pizza night’ at home even though Dad or Mom is deployed. It is not disrespectful to enjoy pizza night with them not being there.
It is also not disrespectful for families to go to the same park they routinely go to, or listen to the same music or anything else they routinely do as a family.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

21. Prepare Kids for Change
Talk about and practice the new routine.
Help them make a list and organized plans.
Re-examine chores and responsibilities.
Maintain consistency regarding rules.
Develop timeline to show children finite nature of a deployment.
Stress affects children the same as adults:
headaches, stomach distress, sleep disturbance, moodiness.
Three child outcomes showed significant changes over the deployment cycle: total difficulties, emotional problems, depression screener scores. Spouses reported elevated symptoms in their children during deployment.
This slide is a nice follow up to the previous slide….talk about establishing new routines.
Give children the chance to provide input regarding what chores they would like to assume after the service member leaves.
There are numerous ways to develop and timeline to countdown the deployment. A paperclip chain with each clip representing a week.
Remove one clip after each week to count down the weeks to the return. A calendar and be used to mark off days.
A jar of M and Ms with each little candy representing a day the service member is supposed to be away. One candy is eaten each day so the family can visually see the time growing shorter before the return.
Many adults don’t understand that children feel the same stress that adults do.
Parents should expect to see these symptoms (stomach distress, sleep disturbance, moodiness etc.) when a deployment occurs.
The children will be easier to manage when parents know what behaviors to expect.
Results from the RAND study reported emotional difficulties in children during deployment (anxiety and anger) as well as depression.

22. Prep Teachers for Student Reactions
Conduct a workshop on Deployment Cycle.
Provide ways to support military children in the building:
bulletin boards, Wall of Heroes, deployment support groups (conducted by counselor or psych)
Provide parent deployment support groups.
Review typical behavioral responses in children:
Inattentive, distractible, mood shifts, emotional
This slide is obsolete unless you can identify the military children in your buildings.
Families should be asked upon registration or at the beginning of the school year if they are a military family.
Teachers, psychologists and counselors should be made aware of the list of students for future reference.
Ideally, a workshop on the deployment cycle should be presented to the entire staff so they will fully understand the stressors military children and their families experience.
A better understanding of the deployment cycle will help teachers better relate to the trauma and grief their military students are feeling.
As far as school interventions, some bulletin boards can be designated for military children to create a Wall of Heroes where they would post a photo of their service member parent and then write a few paragraphs about them.
Deployment support groups of about 5 kids would also be helpful along with offering support groups to nondeployed spouses.

23. Families Need to Prepare and Communicate
Families who prepare for deployment and future communications during deployment do better when the service member returns.
Increased communication, and satisfaction with communication, led to higher marital satisfaction (Rand, 2016).
Yet, too much communication has been reported by some spouses as being upsetting; less is more in this case.
Be sensitive to individual preferences.
Increased communication, and satisfaction with communication, led to higher marital satisfaction
this is NOT to say communicate ‘every day’…. It suggests that the more spouses communicated and when spouses are satisfied with the amount of communication, the higher the marital satisfaction which helped when service member returns.
Too Much Communication Can be More Upsetting for Some:
Military Spouse (2013) magazine reports that some spouses prefer more of the ‘old school’ mentality that less is more when dealing with deployment communication. They suggest that service members don’t need to be told things that are upsetting because they are not able to “focus on their mission”. Likewise, some nondeployed spouses don’t want to hear the details of the deployment because they may sleep better not knowing. Spouses report that omitting the details comes from a place of love and that this marriage is equally as honest as the ones who divulge every detail. Relying on friends, family and other service member spouses can be the main source of strength. Limiting communication with deployed loved ones may be hard, but can also ease the pain of separation.
Other activities to help with Preparation during the predeployment stage includes:
the spouses developing an emergency financial plan
discussing new roles for members of the family when deployment takes place
purchasing life insurance
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

24. Deployment Interventions
It doesn’t get easier with repeated deployments
Popular USO Program:
In addition to interventions for children (which we will talk about in subsequent slides), there are additional supports for families available through ACS. The Deployment and Mobilization Coordinator has resources for family members and duties that include:
Mobilization & Deployment Readiness Program - helps support community readiness during deployments and emergencies. This helps make sure installation programs align with unit deployment cycles, and provide pre- and post-deployment support.
Help for unit Commanders with their Family Readiness plans and deployment support services for Service Members and their Families.
Responsible for operating an Emergency Family Assistance Center in the case of an all-hazards event, and supporting Service Members and Families during Non-Combatant Evacuation Operations (NEO) and Repatriation.
Act as a case manager for all requests for assistance through the Army Disaster Personnel Accountability and Assessment System (ADPAAS).
Additional resources help prepare Soldiers and Families for Deployments and Reintegration by providing trainings and resources throughout the Deployment Cycle in a variety of settings:
Family Readiness Groups: Designed to make sure families have information and a military support group while soldier is deployed.
Virtual Family Readiness Groups also provide secure environments in which the commander can communicate directly with Soldiers and Families 24 hours a day no matter where you are.
Emergency Family Assistance: Link to continuous support and assistance as well as authoritative and accurate information in a sensitive, timely, and effective manner.
Army Disaster Personnel Accountability and Assessment System (ADPAAS):Ensures all Army personnel and their dependents are accounted for during emergency situations.
For more information on Mobilization, Deployment, and Support Stability Operations support in your community, contact your local Army Community Service office and ask for the Mobilization and Deployment program manager or specialist. Fort Belvoir ACS:

25. Interventions for Kids
Journal writing
Wall of heroes in school
Flat Daddies
Focus on THEIR job; doing well in school, helping at home
Keep track of soldier parent’s travels
Photos/ to parent
Write a story with deployed parent. Take turns adding sentences back and forth between child and parent.
During the deployment children often can feel connected to the service member by keeping a journal that they can share when the service member returns.
This is something a counselor or psychologist can do with the child…..basically write a ‘book’ to give the service member when they return. This can be accomplished by meeting with the child once a week for about 10 minutes to ask what the child has been doing at home and school and then the psych can word process what the child says. Sometimes the psych/counselor needs to provide questions to the child to get it started: “Have you checked out a book from the library? Tell me about it”, “What are some things you are doing at home?”. ‘How are the pets in your house doing?”.
Flat Daddies are pictures of the service member that the child takes with them throughout the day.
Remind children that their job will be to help around the house while the service member is away and to do their best in school (but be careful the child is not put in a parenting role).
If the child and the parent have access to computers, they could write a story together taking turns on a word document. This is an effective way of helping the service member and the child feel connected while separated.

26. This Wall of Heroes features a photo of the parent and/or a photo of the child with their Hero service member parent and a one page essay about why their parent is their Hero. The content is often very powerful and also very meaningful to the child.

27. This type of bulletin board should always up during the Month of the Military Child. Classrooms can take turns allowing children to finish the statement: I am proud to be a military kid because….. This free expression by the child can be VERY emotional to read.

28. This one shows the pride our military children often feel about having a soldier parent

29. Maintain Routines Be consistent with discipline.
Give the child a sense of stability.
Keep open communication with children.
Don’t threaten child with ‘wait until your father/mother gets home’.
Routine can be very therapeutic for children and families during a deployment. There is a sense of calm and control with knowing what to expect with a daily schedule. School is a perfect example of routine and can be very stabilizing for children who are struggling with a parent deployment.

30. Help Your Kids Cope Plan special outings or activities.
Update scrap book/journal (special record of events).
Plan events with other families coping with deployment.
Help kids understand they have not done anything wrong.
No news is worse than bad news.
Young children often want to make sense of things that don’t make sense. So when a parent is deployed and they don’t understand why, it is not unusual for the child to assume that it is their fault the parent deployed.
The child will often think they did something to cause it: not keeping their room clean, not feeding the dog properly, making a bad grade in school etc.
Parents as well as school psychologists and counselors will need to intervene to explain and assure the child that they did nothing to cause the deployment.
In sharing news with children it is always best to be gentle yet honest in providing age-appropriate information. Keeping news and general details from a child only allows them to think and imagine the worst! Often they will see the nondeployed parent upset and wonder why.
No news can be worse than bad news. Parents are encouraged to gently share news (even bad news) with children but keep details general and let the child(rens) questions be the guide. Don’t provide un-asked for information.

31. What the Spouse Can Do at Home
Don’t over-schedule.
Talk with each other
Spouses who reported more preparation activities and greater satisfaction with the frequency of communication with the service member during deployment reported higher parenting satisfaction post-deployment.
Children will probably test the rules.
Watch budgeting and spending.
Don’t give up enjoyable activities.
Enhance social and community connections.
Take care of yourself.
Cultivate new skills or hobbies.
Maintaining a manageable schedule will be important.
The RAND study (2016) reported that spouses who communicated frequently with the service member during deployment reported higher parenting satisfaction post deployment.
Also, nondeployed spouses should be sure to take good care of themselves and not to give up fun family activities because the service member is deployed. .

32. Children Will Want to Know…
Will everything still be the same?
Will Mom/Dad welcome me with open arms?
Do they still need me?
Will I be able to continue going out with my friends?
Will Dad/Mom be angry at me?
Why does this have to happen?
Will Dad/Mom look the same?
Will they remember me?
In anticipation of the service member returning for R and R or from the end of the deployment, the children will typically have many questions.

33. R&R Rest and Relaxation
What are everyone’s needs and expectations?

34. Rest and Relaxation Often……NOT very relaxing Dad wants rest
Kids want Dad
Mom wants a break
Dad wants to stay home
Kids want to take Dad to movies
Mom wants Dad to take kids for a while
** R & R is Rest and Relaxation; also not all deployed soldiers receive this approx. 2 week break, dependent on length of deployment and mission requirements.
This stage is very joyful but also can be very volatile. The service member returns home at the midway point of the deployment for about 2 weeks with his/her family.
The new functioning dynamics of the family are well established without the service member at this point, so with the return of the service member, the family dynamics change again
Whose in charge now, who does what chores, who has first choice for the car?
Emotions are also very high during R and R. All family members know that the clock is ticking and that the service member will be leaving soon……so let’s not waste any time!!!!!
It is not uncommon for families to try and squeeze as many activities/trips/visits as possible into those given days for R and R.
Experienced families with R and R often take a different approach and make a few plans but not a whirlwind schedule.
Knowing family members will have to shortly say Goodbye again can be overwhelming for some children.
In one instance, it was reported that a teenage girl simply chose to live with friends on the other side of town for the 2 weeks her father came home for R and R….because she didn’t want the sadness of having to say Goodbye again.

35. Homecoming/Reunion
It takes much effort from everyone to make it happy

36. Become a Family Again Reunion is a process…not an event (7 months).
RAND report found family relationships generally returned to previous levels once the service member came home.
Communicate openly.
Renegotiate roles…become a family again.
Get to know each other again.
Often the arrival is delayed.
Sometimes the soldier returns a different person.
Advise nondeployed spouse NOT to tap returning soldier on shoulder and say… “Your turn!!!” (with kids).
Plan for something special together.
Avoid the same bad habits.
Reunion marks the end of the deployment and is a joyful event.
Some of the same questions that were asked/thought before R and R will also apply to this stage. Roles will have to be renegotiated between all family members.
Communication about the reunion should start weeks ahead of time to address expectations and needs for not on the service member but the family as well.
There will be a need to re-aquaint everyone again as people can change over the period of a deployment (in the way they look and the way the act/think).
There have been instances (albeit very few) where the returning service member walks into the house and the spouse leaves with their bags packed for a vacation and says to the service member ‘your turn’ in reference to dealing with the kids/laundry/bills etc.
Some families take advantage of a reunion to try start new good habits such as committing to eating dinner together at the kitchen table instead of separately.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

37. Reunions and Children Be sure the teacher is aware of the return.
Child has changed and so has the returning parent.
Previous relationship impacts future relationship.
Teens report significantly lower quality relationships with deployed parent when the parent came home.
Variety of feelings
happy
afraid
excited
proud
jealous
worried
The previous relationship between the service member and the child (whether it was positive or negative) will impact the relationship upon the return.
A negative relationship characterized by lots of arguing and any form of physical/emotional abuse will be an added barrier to a smooth reunion and reintegration back into the family.
Teens reported significantly lower quality relationship with the deployed parent when the parents came home. The longer the parent was away, the lower the quality of relationship reported.
Children are typically going to experience a wide variety of feelings mostly stemming from uncertainty about the future. Reunion and reintegration are always a challenge but when PTSD or a physical injury is involved, the entire process can become even more difficult.
*Reference: Rand Corporation Study on Deployment (2016). The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: the brief of the study is available at :

38. This drawing was an award winning poster for the Month of the Military Child created by Lilly Oaks who was a 5th grade student attending the Ft. Bragg Schools.

39. Questions here……..
Your role in supporting military connected children and families is so critical. This is just a first step in understanding the unique dynamics and challenges facing military families.

40. Additional Resources www.militarykidsconnect.org
Military One Source:
Military Child Coalition:
Operation Military Kid:
Podcast deployment:
Podcast reintegration:
Podcast Military Family Life; a mother’s perspective

41. References Demographics and Statistics Marital impact Emotional stages
Marital impact
Emotional stages

42. References Cont. Reintegration Supports for guard and reserve
Supports for guard and reserve
Effects of Deployment on Kids
Flake, E.M., Davis. B.E., Johnson. P.L. & Middleton. L.S. (2009). The Psychosocial Effects of Deployment on Military Children. Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatric, 30(4),
children.asp
The Deployment Life Study(DLS), RAND Study (2016)
**Also Important is to use the recently released (2016) Rand Corporation Study on Deployment. The research was prepared for the US Army and the Office of the Secretary of Defense. This longitudinal Study called The Deployment Life Study(DLS) is available at: ; the brief of the study is available at :
**Reference: Department of Defense Deployment Guide updated 2012:
** Army Community Service: Mobilization & Deployment Readiness Program:
** 2016 Data from the Defense Manpower Data Center:

43. Mark C. Pisano, Ed.D. mark.pisano@am.dodea.edu www.drmarkpisano.com
Ft. Bragg Schools
PO Box 70089
Ft. Bragg, NC
Feel free to contact Dr. Pisano with any questions or follow up regarding the content of this presentation.