1. Ashish Poddar

2. The Challenge Of Working Together. Cost of preparing and attending for 1 day of tribunal can be £5000. In our interest: - Resolve disputes in ways that reduce their re-occurrence. - Work in ways that avoid and manage issues.

3. This Session. We will cover some practical points: -For positive development of relationships. -Tips to develop trust. -Approaching disputes. -2 exercises to bring some points to life.

4. My Journey. Various roles across private, public and voluntary sectors oCity Solicitor. oSenior adviser to statutory equality body. oBP International. I came to realise something about agreements or judgments. oUnderlying issue often left unresolved. oLeft a seed of resentment waiting for a triggering event. oSet up FreshTies.

5. What else I learned. Behind every behaviour is a positive intention. If we dig down behind the behaviour, we: oIdentify people’s underlying needs that drive behaviours. oSee our needs are essentially the same. Feel important, needed, appreciated… oDifferent ways to express and achieve needs. oThese needs connect us as human beings- not positions. oOpens up the possibilities of resolving each others needs. oWhere the disputes are avoided or resolved. oHow someone was treated- felt – typically more important than desired outcome.

6. How FreshTies works. 1. Pre Legal Services. 2. Develop resolution techniques. 3. Run community projects. Pre Legal. Aim: To avoid confrontation and legalities oAdvice, audits and skills training to avoid issues. oAdvice and intervention to resolve disputes. oPreparation, facilitation for consortium working. oPre Legal helps funds development work and community projects…

7. What I have seen. Investment in preparing for consortium working. oDon’t invest time, scrutiny, skills. oPromise of revenue overshadows judgment. Starting point. oIs it right for me? Do the homework. oIn mergers, consortiums, cost of breakup is immense. oImagine Match.com oConfidence is as much saying No, as it is Yes.

8. Case Study 1: Scenario. Consortium dispute. oDispute over 1 partner being paid early. oArgument between 4 partners. oSolicitors instructed.

9. Case Study 1: Resolution. What FreshTies did. oAll parties got together. oEach party explained their perception of the early payment. oThe real reason was given. oAhh moment- why didn’t you say… Facilitated the Consortium to start over. Get to know each other- as people – not job titles. oSessions to get to know each other as people- presentations. oEat together oPlayful activities oNative American example.

10. Case Study 1: Resolution. How to screw up the consortium. oSession to brainstorm how to screw up a consortium. oIdentified where issues crop up. oSuccess criteria oPractical ways for constructive handling. oCore values that are personal to the team. Lets try an EXERCISE

11. Exercise: Mission Screw Up. 101 ways to screw up a consortium. In 3 or 4 groups: o8 minutes to brainstorm 10 top ways to make working together a nightmare. Think of solutions to avoid or manage them. oReflect on personal experience, what you have heard, imagine. Examples could relate to: People skills – rolling eyes. Structure of consortium Culture Roles

12. Building relationships. US university research on failing before trying. Other things to do: oAttitude of ‘Failure comfort’. oAirplanes / avoid defensiveness. oEstablish a clear vision and mission, together (not delivery targets) oEstablish core values- your guiding principles. oPut it in writing. oSWOT analysis of skills and experience. oGet any concerns or fears out in the open. oAll of the above is in writing

13. Building relationships. More of a to do list: oThen look at contracts: oClarity of objectives, roles, etc. oPractical skills training to do the above. oSet out how will deal with issues, tensions and disputes using scenarios. oCommunication: open, honest, regular and always constructively. oConfidence to ask questions to clarify or confirm.

14. Does Trust Exist? Trust builds from personal, regular and ongoing experience with each other. No instant fix. Is trust there: oFeel safe to express ideas, contrasting views, or worries. oGet more information before making presuming the worst. oPeople do what they say they will do. oTolerate conflict enough to resolve it. oStick to an agreed process: not run to formal highest authority or legal!

15. More tips on Trust. More practical tips. oNot dismissing other people’s ideas. oTreat all parties equally. oTake the time to get behind behaviours out of respect. oIs everyone happy with decisions? oIf you foresee a problem, get it out in the open asap oBe clear on how your organisational set ups oE.g. differences in time to process invoices, approvals etc.

16. Dispute handling. Stuff happens. oPrepare yourself: accept the reality. oPay attention to your core values. oHave a system in place and stick to it. oHave a conversation over coffee. oSet a positive tone from the start that observes a situation, not finger points. oThink through your words, all your communication signals. oWhat is in it for us? oGroup problem solving. oAppoint independent person to facilitate. oAvoid formal, non personal communication by distance. oRefer back to your purpose- joint mission and vision. oCommunicate for clarity, non inflammatory, questioning. oTake the time to identify the needs behind behaviours.

17. What Complicates The Situation. We are emotional beings. oWe worry about losing the fight (reputation) oWe worry about our identity (am I a loser) oWe worry about our territory (who will get credit) What often goes wrong. oBreach of someone’s core values. oNot had a conversation to know each other. oNot established needs, tried to resolve positions

18. Three W’s. Good questions can prevent a whole load of problems. Here are some: 1. Can we start over? 2. What don’t I know (about you / the situation)? 3. Is this what you meant? Seeing things from a different perspective is priceless…

19. Exercise 2. Perspectives for solutions. Here is one of many techniques we use to encourage more flexible ways of seeing a situation. Real scenario. Council regeneration work involves upgrading of residents homes and rear gardens. Jim, a resident, asks builder (council contractor) to move his old garden bench carefully. There’s an exchange of words. Two other builders get involved in banter. Resident paints ‘bunch of girls blouses’ on his wall, which is due to be replaced by builders. Resident also plays Bob Marley song – No Woman No Cry - loudly when builders are near. Builders report exchanges to their contractor, the Council. Team leader brings about anti social behaviour order. Resident challenges this in Court.

20. Exercise 2. Activity. 15 minutes. You will consider this scenario from three positions: the resident, the builders, and a neutral observer. In the roles of the RESIDENT, and the BUILDERS, answer the following questions: - What are my interests? - What do I really care about in this conflict? - What do I really want? What do I need? - What are my concerns, hopes and fears? In the role of the neutral observer looking down from space, answer the following questions: - What do you notice? - What advice would you give? - What could be learned from this?

21. Exercise 2. How it was resolved. The costs. The solution.

22. How FreshTies works. Pre Legal Services. Develop techniques and community projects. Pre Legal. Aim: To avoid confrontation and legalities oAdvice, audits and skills training to avoid issues. oAdvice and intervention to resolve disputes. oPreparation, facilitation for consortium working. oPre Legal helps funds development work and community projects…

23. Close. An Acceptable Reality? Stuff happens. Nothing is perfect. What a relief. We don’t get frustrated when things go wrong. We get proactive. When we are AWARE of this, and SKILLS to manage it, we can HANDLE it. No need for compromise. We can find win-win solutions. The best medicine for all conflicts is a conversation- local to international. There is always a better way. That’s what we say at FreshTies. Thank you for listening.