1. Building Healthy Peer Relationships Chapter 6

2. Do Now: Read pages 136 – 139 in your textbook. Define the word Communication on your note-taking packet.

3. Section 1 – Skills for Healthy Relationships Communication – the process of sharing information, thoughts or feelings. 2 Types of Communication: Verbal and Non-verbal Verbal communication – consists of speaking and listening. Non-Verbal – consists of body language and intonation (tone of voice). There are 4 skills that contribute to effective communication. “I” messages Active listening Assertiveness Body Language

4. “I” Messages An “I” message is a statement that expresses your feelings, but doesn’t blame or judge the other person. By using an “I” message, you open the lines of communication. For example: You are upset with a friend who forgot to call you after they said they would. You react by saying, “Can’t you remember anything?” This approach could put your friend on the defensive. Instead say something like, “I am upset because we didn’t talk last night.” This opens the lines up for discussion.

5. Active Listening Active listening is focusing your full attention on what the other person is saying and letting that person know you understand and care. Show your interest by looking at the person, nodding your head, showing concern on your face. Encourage the speaker to begin speaking by saying “Do you want to talk about….” Show your interest by offering comments when the speaker pauses such as “Then what happened?..” or “What did you do?” Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says. Show you have been listening by summarizing the speaker’s ideas with phrases such as “it sounds like you were angry when…” or “I heard you say…” Help the speaker explore things further with phrases such as “tell me more about…” Do not steer the conversation away from the speaker’s problem and onto a problem of your own.

6. Activity: Find Someone Who You are going to find someone in the class who matches the description in the box. Be sure to use active listening and “I” messages to obtain the following information: 1.) The first name and last initial of the person that matches the box. 2.) Find out some specific information pertaining to the box. For example: Has more than 1 pet – Your questions could be, “How many pets do you have?” Be sure to spell the persons name correctly. Only one person per box. You cannot use the same person more than one time. You may use your name in one box only.

7. In your notebook - How would you rate yourself as an active listener? Why did you rate yourself that way? In what ways could you improve.

8. Assertiveness Assertiveness is standing up for yourself while expressing your feelings in a way that does not threaten the other person. For example: speaking confidently and clearly; making eye contact; actively listening to the other person Refer to the chart on page 138. Assertive behavior: communicates respect both for yourself and for others. Passive behavior: shows lack of respect for yourself. Aggressive behavior: shows lack of respect for others. *In your notebook: Which term describes your communication style? Explain why?

9. Body Language Body language includes posture, gestures, facial expressions, and body movements. For example: making eye contact; smiling; slouching during class

10. Cooperation Cooperation is working together toward a common goal. Cooperation builds strong relationships that are based on mutual trust, caring, and responsibility. To successfully meet the goal, people must work together as a team. Everybody on the team must meet their responsibilities and trust others to meet theirs.

11. Take out your Find Someone Who Activity sheet and finish filling it in by using cooperation with others in the class. Human Knots Activity

12. Compromise Compromise is the willingness of each person to give up something in order to reach an agreement. This requires give and take. When should you compromise? When both people are willing to sacrifice something. When both feel comfortable with the solution reached. When should you not compromise? When you are asked to do something dangerous. When the compromise goes against your values.

13. Section 6-2: Friendships Frienship: a relationship based on mutual trust, acceptance, and common interests or values. 3 things people look for from friends: 1. Honest reactions 2. Encouragement during bad times 3. Understanding when they make mistakes Types of Frienships: Casual Friends – often occur because people go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood, or have some common interests. Offer the chance to have fun, try new things, and learn to get along with a variety of people.

14. Close friends – those who share similar goals, values, or interests. Qualities of a Close Friend 1.Loyalty – a close friend sticks by you in both good times and bad. 2.Honesty – You can trust a close friend to be truthful, even when the truth is painful. 3.Empathy – A close friend is caring and sensitive to your feelings. 4.Reliability – A close friend can always be counted on. What are other qualities you look for in a close friend?

15. Friends of the Opposite Sex – these friendships help you feel comfortable with members of the opposite sex and allow you to develop fully as a person. Gender Roles – behaviors and attitudes that are socially accepted as either masculine or feminine. What are some ways that people learn about traditional masculine and feminine roles? **Are you comfortable having close friendships with both male and females? Why or why not?

16. Tips for Making Friends Be yourself; don’t put on an act Join groups that share your values or offer activities you like Treat everyone with respect Take a little time to talk with people you know casually Ask questions that require more than just a yes or no answer (examples ??) What other tips would you suggest to make new friends?

17. Problems in Friendships 1. Envy – can occur when one person has something that the other person desires. For example: appearance, popularity **Can you think of other sources of envy? 2.Jealousy – can occur when a “best” friend wants to develop more close friendships and the first friend feels left out. 3. Cruelty 4.Cliques – a narrow, exclusive group of people with similar backgrounds or interests. Peer pressure – a need to conform to the expectations of friends, can be negative or positive.

18. Physical Attraction & Dating 4 Things you can learn about a person by dating 1. personality 2. interests 3. abilities 4. Values Dating Practices: Going out as a group Going out as couples (double dating) Steady Dating Factors that influence dating practices: Individuals Families Cultures **Do you think steady dating during high school is a good idea? Why or why not?

19. Violence in Dating Relationships Cycle of Violence – Figure 9 pg. 150 Warning Signs of Abuse Your date is jealous when you talk to others. Your date makes fun of you in front of others. Your dates tries to control you and makes all decisions. Your date has a history of bad relationships. Your date makes you feel or you feel isolated from friends and family. You feel less self-confident You worry about saying or doing the right thing. You change how you behave to avoid an argument.

20. Tips for Dating Safely 1.Go out as a group 2.Let someone know where you are going. 3.Avoid alcohol or other drugs. 4.Have money to get home. 5.Call 911 in an emergency.

21. Dating Violence/Sexual Assault Awareness Poster Your group is going to create a poster about teen dating violence and/or sexual assault awareness. Objective: To create awareness and educate others about teen dating violence and sexual assault. Procedures: Use the chrome books to research information about teen dating violence and sexual assault. Your poster should contain facts, statistics, pictures, help lines, websites, signs of violence, etc. Any information you feel would help educate others and make them aware of dating violence and/or sexual assault. You could draw pictures or use pictures form the magazines. Be sure to include where to get help hotlines and/or websites for others. *Make sure all the names, first and last, of group members are on the back of the poster along with the period. Poster is due at the end of the period on Thursday, April 14 th.

22. Teen Dating Violence Resources: Hotlines: Love is Respect Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Internet Resources: www.loveisrespect.org www.breakthecycle.org www.thehotline.org www.dosomething.org www.womenhelpingwomen.org www.youth.gov Other resources: The Clothesline Project Planned Parenthood Association

23. Chapter 7 Preventing Violence

24. Violence: the threat of actual use of physical force against oneself or another person. Harassment: unwanted remarks or actions that cause a person emotional or physical harm. Bullying: the use of threats or physical force to intimidate and control another person. Cyber bullying: bullying that takes place by e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging or websites. Hazing: requiring a person to do degrading, risky, or illegal acts in order to join a group. Sexual harassment: any uninvited and unwelcome sexual remark or sexual advance. Hate violence: speech or behavior that is aimed at a person or group based on personal characteristics. Prejudice: negative feelings about a group based on stereotypes. Stereotype: an exaggerated belief or overgeneralization about an entire group of people. Intolerance: lack of acceptance of another person’s opinions, beliefs, or actions. Discrimination: the unfair treatment of a person or group based on prejudice. Vandalism: intentionally damaging or destroying another person’s property.

25. 5 Ways to Stop Bullying 1.Don’t make jokes at others’ expense or single out a person for exclusion. 2.Don’t reward a bully with positive attention. 3.Speak up 4.Don’t believe or spread rumors. 5.Reach out to students who seem isolated. 4 Ways to Stop Sexual Harassment 1.Speak up assertively when you feel disrespected. 2.Use refusal skills to reject unwanted sexual advances. 3.Avoid being alone with someone you don’t trust. 4.Report sexual harassment to an adult.

26. Address intolerance at school. Working together develop a creative way to address intolerance at school. Use artwork, a poem, etc. to display your idea. Your work will be handed in for a classwork grade. Make sure all group members names and period are on the work.

27. Chapter 7-3 : How Fights Start There are 4 ways that fights can start: Arguments – Revenge – Peer Pressure - Control Two factors that lead to arguments: 1.Anger 2.Hurt pride and embarrassment Revenge – the desire for revenge leads to a dangerous cycle of fighting. Escalate – grow more intense Have you ever had a fight to settle an argument? Did the fight settle thing? Why or Why not?

28. Have you even been an instigator in a fight? If so, why did you encourage the other person to fight? Peer Pressure -Instigator – person who encourages fighting between others while staying out of the fight themselves. Roles: Describe the roles of the following in fights: Friends – may urge you to fight Bystanders – may gather hoping to see a fight Control What is the main reason for domestic violence and dating violence? the desire to have control over another Reasons why a victim may not fight back: - fear that the violence will escalate - they believe they deserve to be hit Others???

29. Work together to complete Mediating Conflict worksheet. Refer to pgs. 178-179 in your textbook.

30. 4 approaches to resolving conflicts 1.Choosing Not to Fight 1.Once you recognize that a conflict exists there are two general approaches you can take. Ignore the conflict or you can confront the person. 2.Ignoring a Conflict Five Tips that can help you decide when to ignore a conflict. 1.You will probably never see the person again. 2.The person or issue isn’t very important to you. 3.The conflict is based on rumors that can be overlooked. 4.The conflict is about something trivial or silly. 5.A person tries to get you in trouble by provoking a fight. When Ignoring a Conflict you need to: Be flexible – your safety should always be your first concern. Learn to control your anger – you might overreact to a situation

31. 3. Confronting A Person Wisely – 3 general steps 1. Choose time and place wisely 2. Stay Calm 3. Negotiate a solution. 4.Helping Others to Avoid Fights - You can help prevent fighting through mediation, through your role as a bystander, and by involving an adult. Mediation – a process for resolving conflicts that involves a neutral third party. Tips for Mediators: -Listen to people who are hurt. -Help to correct unfair situations. -Praise can be helpful to those involved. -Do not use put downs of any kind. Strategies bystanders can use to prevent fights: a. Ignore those people who make negative remarks about other people. b. Refuse to spread rumors. c. Do not relay a threat or insult from one person to another. d. Stay away from any area where you expect a fight could take place.

32. Complete Chapter 7 Review, pg. 186, #’s 1-16