1. Improvement Areas for Your Next Essay!

2. Revision Suggestions Topic Sentence Quotations Verb Tense Grammar and Conventions Unity and Organization of Paragraph Plot Summarizing Transition Words

3. Topic Sentence Topic sentence- If you don’t have it, the reader has no idea what you’re talking about, or where your writing is going. Before you even begin writing, think first about the topic and then what you want to say about the topic. Most often, the topic is easy, but the question then turns to what you want to say about the topic which is the controlling idea. Topic sentences should always contain both (1) a topic and (2) a controlling idea. The topic sentence serves as an anchor to ALL of your examples and details in the paragraph. When you use a quote, CONNECT IT BACK to the topic sentence. That is how you PROVE your quote is a good quote.

4. Quotations Quote - don’t just throw in any old quote. If it had nothing to do with the argument you are trying to make, then it’s going to make the paragraph pointless. Do not end a paragraph with a quote. You HAVE to explain the connection of the quote to the overall purpose you are trying to prove in the paragraph. Correct format: “Jean Valjean was a changed man.” (54). Use quotes to support your point, not AS your point. Your quote should not take up more than 25% of your response.

5. Quotes (cont.) FANTASTIC Website to help use quotes correctly in literary response papers!!! http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/QuoLiterature.ht ml http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/QuoLiterature.ht ml

6. The following paragraph is from a student's analysis of the relationship between two characters in Woolf's To the Lighthouse. Notice how statements expressing the writer's ideas and observations are verified with evidence from the novel in both summarized and quoted form. We learn about Mrs. Ramsey's personality by observing her feelings about other characters. For example, Mrs. Ramsey has mixed feelings toward Mr. Tansley, but her feelings seem to grow more positive over time as she comes to know him better. At first Mrs. Ramsey finds Mr. Tansley annoying, as shown especially when he mentions that no one is going to the lighthouse (52). But rather than hating him, at this point she feels pity: "she pitied men always as if they lacked something..." (85). Then later, during the gathering, pity turns to empathy as she realizes that Mr. Tansley must feel inferior. He must know, Mrs. Ramsey thinks, that "no woman would look at him with Paul Rayley in the room" (106). Finally, by the end of the dinner scene, she feels some attraction to Mr. Tansley and also a new respect: "She liked his laugh.... She liked his awkwardness. There was a lot in that man after all" (110). In observing this evolution in her attitude, we learn more about Mrs. Ramsey than we do about Mr. Tansley. The change in Mrs. Ramsey's attitude is not used by Woolf to show that Mrs. Ramsey is fickle or confused; rather it is used to show her capacity for understanding both the frailty and complexity of human beings. This is a central characteristic of Mrs. Ramsey's personality.

7. What did the writer do well? 1. Statements express the student's own ideas about the relationship Woolf is creating; 2. Data or evidence from the text in summarized, paraphrased, and quoted form and discussion of how the data support the writer's interpretation. 3. he quotations are used in accordance with the writer's purpose, i.e. to show how the development of Mrs. Ramsey's feelings indicates something about her personality.

8. First Person and Tenses KEEP YOURSELF OUT OF THE RESPONSE. No “I” or “I think”. When you use first person, you are taking the validity out of your argument. It is more powerful to say, “Jean Valjean was influenced to become a good man because of the Bishop” instead of “I think JVJ was influenced by the Bishop”. DO NOT ABBREVIATE THE NAMES THE FIRST TIME YOU USE THEM. I was lenient on JVJ, but identify his as Jean Valjean initially.

9. Verb Tense Tense is a tricky issue. It's customary in literary analysis to use the present tense; it is at the present time that you (and your reader) are looking at the text. But, events in a narrative or drama take place in a time sequence. You will often need to use a past tense to refer to events that took place before the moment you are presently discussing: When he hears Cordelia's answer, Lear seems surprised, but not dumbfounded. He advises her to "mend [her] speech a little." He had expected her to praise him the most; but compared to her sisters', her remarks seem almost insulting (95).

10. Grammar and Conventions Grammar and Conventions- PROOFREAD YOUR PARAGRAPHS. “b/c” &, cause…..NO text messaging abbreviations!!! Proofread your sentences. If you have sentences that are fragments (dependent clauses) or run-on sentences, you need to fix them. 1-3 sentences is NOT ENOUGH to answer these questions. Putting a period in the middle of a sentence is not creating two sentences; now you just have a fragment.

11. PARAGRAPH ORGANIZATION The S-E-E Paragraph strategy will help you create organized, well- developed paragraphs for the body of your essays and reports. S for Statement Begin with a topic sentence that gives the reader a sense of what the single main idea of the paragraph will be. E for Example This is the part of your paragraph where you support your topic sentence. Your evidence/examples should be appropriate and specific. If you are writing an essay or report that is not personal, you will need to use evidence in the same way, perhaps from a text, facts or specific observations. E for Explanation If the evidence you use is dense (quotations), you need to explain the importance of your evidence. Then you need to explain how the paragraph supports your position and how the evidence connects with your topic sentence.

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13. The word, “Transformation” In order for there to be a transformation, there needs to be a beginning and a current state. If you don’t identify where the character began, you have difficulty clearly showing the transformation.

14. Writing Revision Goals Once you have identified your three areas of improvement, pick one (1) of your three essays from your Section 2 essay test. Revise the essay using your three identified revision goals. You will turn in your revision, along with your original essay, for a class grade.

15. Foil A foil is a character who can be CONTRASTED to the protagonist (main character). Do not contrast actions- contrast personalities and attitudes. If one character is honest, the other is deceiving. If one character is loyal, the other is not trust-worthy. NOT a contrast: “Javert continues to chase JVJ, and JVJ continues to hide.” Not attitude TOWARDS another character, attitude of character in general.

16. Writing Revision Goals Based on your Section 2 essay test and Strengthening Your Essay PPT notes, identify three (3) areas that you could improve in your essays. These will become your improvement goals in writing revision for your third and final essay for the Section 5 Essay Test.