1. Expectations of Coaches, Parents, Fans and Administrators National Conference of High School Directors of Athletics Grapevine, Texas December 15, 2009

2. RICHARD BECHARD, CMAA Blue Valley Schools Overland Park, Kansas rbechard@bluevalleyk12.org

3. PAINT THE PICTURE Defining Clear Expectations

4. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT The primary role of high school athletics is to build lifetime character traits in the young people who are in our care. We must never lose sight of the big picture – that our athletic programs are primarily for the benefit of the students who participate in them.

5. CHARACTER If character development is not your first priority all other priorities are at risk. Without question, teachable moments in athletics prepare students for life when the whole community supports and reinforces those life lessons.

6. VISION FOR ATHLETICS To develop, implement, and maintain a character-based athletic program creating an environment in which every Student-Athlete, Coach, Official, and Spectator is committed to the true spirit of competition.

7. WHAT SETS US APART We are about scholarship in high school not scholarships to college. We value graduations rates more than winning percentages. We are about the education of students more than entertainment of the public. We focus on the team not the individual. High School athletics need to be the remarkable program, the one different from all others. That is our charm, that is our future

8. Creating Your Own Scoreboard If you don’t create the expectations within – people outside your athletic department will create expectations and an image for your success. The local media, parents, and community members all have their own scoreboard for success. Usually they define success as a winning season, or conference or state championship.

9. Creating a Scoreboard Inside Out Athletics can and should be a significant part of a sound educational program. To assure that athletics is a constructive social force, principals of sportsmanship and fair play ought to be held high above all other values to be gained through athletic participation. Proper ethics in athletics implies a standard of character which affords confidence and trust. Winning is a consideration, but not the only one, nor the most important one.

10. ADMINISTRATION Athletic Administrator and athletic programs will flourish when there is consistent leadership from the school board and school administrators. As an athletic administrator you stand on the front lines – nothing teaches like example.

11. COACHES Some of the most powerful people in society. The key to a character-based program.

12. COACHES Don’t just be successful – be significant.

13. SUCCESS VS. SIGNIFICANCE Success is coaching a sport and winning more than you lose. Significance is coaching kids to develop to their full potential, on and off the court or field. Significant coaches not only teach sport skills, they also teach life skills.

14. COACHES DON’T BE AFRIAD TO LEAD. WHAT NATURAL THINGS CAN YOUR SPORT TEACH? CHANGE DOES NOT REQUIRE CONSENSUS. DECIDE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN - THEN LIVE IT.

15. PARENTS/FANS The Role of the Parent in Athletics

16. SETTING EXPECTATIONS Before the 1 st contest During the Contest After the Contest

17. Before Clear Picture What do you want from your child’s participation What do you think a good season looks like? What are your child’s expectations regarding this season? What do you think their role on the team is going to be?

18. Release Them to the Game By releasing a child to the game the parent is telling their athlete all the successes are theirs and the failures are theirs. Many times parents want to be the problem solver because they find it painful to watch their children find their own solutions.

19. During the Contest Learn to watch the sport your child has chosen Model appropriate behavior - When adults behave like children-children don’t learn to become adults. Focus on the team and the team’s goals One instructional voice Four roles - choose one Spectator, Competitor, Official, Coach.

20. After the Contest Give your child time and space. Let them come to you - be a reflective listener. Keep corrections and criticisms in check. Always address unacceptable behavior.

21. I LOVE WATCHING YOU PLAY One comment from a parent that can always be sincerely said and received by a young athlete.

22. We must not make our kids feel their value as a person is tied to their playing time, their performance, or winning or losing an athletic contest.

23. Do you believe an athletic program can truly impact its participants and survive in today’s society...

24. ... without the support of the entire community?

25. we would like to thank you for attending and...

26. hope we have enlightened you,...