1. Butch the Bulldog Becomes A Six Trait Writer

2. Hi! My name is Butch the Bulldog. Today is my first day back to school after summer vacation. My teacher gave us our first writing assignment. We are supposed to write about our summer vacation. Why do teachers always have you write on the first day of school? Anyway, this is what I wrote. i wnt too bog camp it was fun and then i came home and wtch tv the end

3. My teacher said it sounded like I had fun but she wanted to know more. She gave me a checklist to help me with my ideas. She said there were some questions I needed to ask myself when I was writing.

4. Ideas Questions to ask yourself: What is my message? Is my message clear? Do I have enough information? Do my words paint a picture in the reader’s mind?

5. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story. This is how it looked. i w nt too bog camp at luna lake in the daytime we went fishing and hunting we ran round the other kamps and snifed in the garbaje cans we restled in the green grass we stayed in a pup tent at nite we sat by the camp fire and barked at the moon and the strs it was fun we went in a bot we went swimming and chasd butrflys the end

6. My teacher liked my ideas. This is what she said! “I can really picture what you’re telling me! You really notice things—look at these details! Now lets work on your conventions. Here is a new checklist to help you out.”

7. Conventions Questions to ask yourself: Could another person read this? Did I use a title? Did I leave margins on the sides and at the bottom? Did I do my best spelling?

8. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story. I had to use the word wall and a dictionary. This is how my story looked when I was done. Butch Bulldog My Summer Vacation I went to dog camp at Luna Lake. In the daytime we went fishing. We went hunting. We ran around the other camps. We sniffed in the garbage cans. We wrestled in the green grass. We stayed in a pup tent at night. We sat by the campfire and barked at the moon. We barked at the stars. It was fun. We went in a boat. We went swimming and chased butterflies. the end

9. My teacher liked my conventions. This is what she said! “I love it when you put a title on your paper. It gives me a good clue about your story!” “When you work to make your spelling readable, it really helps your reader a lot.” “You remembered to write your name.” “Next, let’s work on sentence fluency. Here is a new checklist to help you out.”

10. Sentence Fluency Questions to ask yourself: Did I use sentences? How many different ways did I start my sentences? Did I use some long sentences? Did I use some short sentences?

11. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story. I had to combine some of my sentences. I had to change the beginning of some of my sentences. This is how my story looked when I was done.

12. Butch Bulldog My Summer Vacation I went to dog camp at Luna Lake. In the daytime we went fishing and at night we went hunting. My friends and I ran around the other camps. It was fun to sniff in the garbage cans and wrestle in the green grass. I really liked staying in a pup tent at night. My favorite part was when we sat by the campfire and barked at the moon and the stars. It was fun. The boat was fun to ride in. Another thing I liked was swimming. When we were finished swimming we chased butterflies. the end

13. My teacher liked my sentence fluency. This is what she said! “I read this aloud and I love the sound of it!” “Your sentences begin in different ways. That’s great!” “You have a long sentences and short sentences! Terrific!” “Next, let’s work on organization. Here is a new checklist to help you out.”

14. Organization Questions to ask yourself: How does my paper begin? Did I tell things in order? What is the most important thing in my paper? How does my paper end?

15. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story. I had to add some beginning words. My teacher said I don’t have to put the end at the end of my story. Most people know they are at the end when the story is over. I had to write a different ending. I chose what was most important to me and added some more detail. This is how my story looked when I was done.

16. Butch Bulldog My Summer Vacation When I think about my summer vacation there are many things I enjoyed. My best memory was my trip to dog camp at Luna Lake. In the daytime we went fishing and hunting. After a day of fishing and hunting my friends and I ran around the other camps. Next we sniffed around the garbage cans and wrestled in the green grass. After our afternoon nap we went for a fun boat ride. Another thing I liked in the afternoon was swimming. When we were finished swimming we chased butterflies. At the end of the day I really liked staying in a pup tent. My favorite part of dog camp was when we sat by the campfire and barked at the moon and the stars. My pals liked to eat dog biscuits and tell scary car stories by the light of the moon.

17. My Teacher liked my organization. This is what she said! “I can see how these ideas go together.” “You used transition words. That’s a good way to organize your ideas.” “You have a good beginning and ending.” “Next, let’s work on word choice. Here is a new checklist to help you out.”

18. Word Choice Questions to ask yourself: Have I used some words I LOVE? Can my reader tell what my words mean? Did I use any new words?

19. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story. I had to change some of the words. I used the word wall and the thesaurus. I tried to change ordinary words to make them more interesting. I added some detail words so my reader could tell what my words mean. This is how my story looked when I was done.

20. Butch Bulldog My Summer Vacation When I think about my summer vacation there are many things I enjoyed. My best memory was my excursion to dog camp at Luna Lake. In the daytime we enjoyed fishing and we engaged in hunting activities. After a restful day of fishing and hunting my friends and I scurried around the other camps. Next, we sniffed around the garbage cans and wrestled in the green grass. After our relaxing afternoon nap we went for an exciting boat ride. Another thing I found enjoyable in the afternoon was swimming in the frigid lake water. When we were finished swimming we chased butterflies through the luscious meadows. At the end of the day I found great satisfaction sleeping in a pup tent. My favorite adventure at dog camp was when we lounged by the campfire and howled at the full moon and the twinkling bright stars. My pals gobbled down the doggie biscuits I shared, as we whispered scary automobile stories by the light of the midnight moon.

21. My Teacher liked my word choice. This is what she said! “ I love the words you used. How did you think of them?” “You used so many new words. Your writing sounds interesting!” “The final thing we are going to check is voice. Let’s see if your paper sounds like you? Here is your checklist.”

22. Voice Questions to ask yourself: Do I really like this paper? Does it sound like me? Did I make my reader feel the way I hoped they would? Does my paper show emotion and expression?

23. After I looked at my checklist I revised my story for the final time. I added some dialogue to add voice. I included some feeling words to make my paper sound more like me. This is how my story looked when I was done.

24. Butch Bulldog My Summer Vacation When I think about my summer vacation there are many things I enjoyed. My best memory was my excursion to dog camp at Luna Lake. When I first saw the campground I told my best friend, “Wow, I can’t believe how beautiful this place is. This is going to be a great vacation.” It was true. It was a doggie paradise. In the daytime we enjoyed fishing and we engaged in hunting activities. Hunting is one of my favorite hobbies. It is also a valuable skill for a dog. You know you just can’t always depend on your human master for a daily meal. They can be so…forgetful sometimes.

25. After a restful day of fishing and hunting my compadres and I often scurried around the other camps. You know, we dogs are even more curious than a pack of kittens…Ha! Next, we sniffed around the garbage cans and wrestled in the velvet green grass. My back was a little itchy but it was totally worth it to have a round of fun with the guys. After our relaxing afternoon nap we went for an exciting boat ride. “Let me drive!” I often shouted out. Another thing I found enjoyable in the afternoon was swimming in the frigid lake water. I usually won the doggie paddle contest. When we were finished swimming we chased butterflies through the luscious meadows. At the end of the day I found great satisfaction sleeping in a small pup tent. My favorite adventure at dog camp was when we lounged by the campfire and howled at the full moon and the twinkling bright stars. My pals gobbled down the doggie biscuits I shared, as we whispered scary automobile stories by the light of the midnight moon.

26. My teacher loved my story! In fact, I loved my story! Here is what my teacher said, and I must say I agree. “Butch, you have done a “doggone” good job! You are ready to publish your story!”

27. The more you write, the smarter you get!