1. Assertiveness - Effectively Communication with Difficult Peers Tutor Training Developed & Presented by Natasha Ford, Chelsea Shoben & Catherine Siew University of Central Florida’s Student Academic Resource Center 2013

2. Pre-Writing Assignments 1) On an index card, write your favorite: ◦Color ◦Cuisine ◦Country to Visit ◦Closet Dream 2) Complete Page 1 of your handout (stop at the diagram).

3. Pick a Task to Complete Make a paper airplane Draw a detailed self-portrait The following task/activity is meant to be representative of a tutoring session. You will pick a task to complete: this will represent your regular job of “tutoring.”

5. Post-Activity Review How did you acknowledge the distraction being thrown at you? Identify whether you were passive (ignored the balloon) or aggressive (pushed the balloon away) or a mix. What do they think the balloons represent in a tutoring session?

6. What is it? How would you define “Passive”? What are some characteristics that you would identify with passive communication? Does your communication fit this description? Examples? Passive Communication

7. Common Characteristics Passive Communication Characteristics Not expressing honest feelings Allowing others to violate your rights Non-Verbal Behaviors Self put-down Hesitation Averting gaze when talking Covering arms Verbal Characteristics Hesitant, filled with pauses Apologize unnecessarily in a soft voice Frequent justification e.g. “I would not normally say anything but…”

8. Passive Tutoring Reflection & Drawbacks of this Communication Style How would you describe a passive tutor? How would a passive tutor deal with a difficult student or a confrontational situation? What are possible drawbacks of being passive while tutoring? How could this impact the tutoring environment?

9. What is it? How would you define “Aggressive”? What are some characteristics that you would identify with an aggressive communication style? Does your communication fit this description? Examples? Aggressive Communication

10. Characteristics Communication Characteristics Standing up for yourself in a way that violates others. Non-Verbal Behaviors Crossing arms Gesturing or staring at specific people Scowling when angry Striding around impatiently Verbal Characteristics Sarcastic, condescending tone Fast, abrupt pace Put downs of others e.g. “Don’t be stupid” Threatening questions e.g. “Haven’t you finished yet?”

11. Aggressive Tutoring Reflection & Drawbacks What are some scenarios when a tutor may resort to aggressive behavior? Describe the type of environment an aggressive tutor could set. When a tutor speaks aggressively towards a student in the group, how do you think this makes the rest of the group of tutees feel?

12. The Question is…

14. Assertiveness Balloon Style: Part 2 How did you change your approach to completing the task the second time? Did you overcompensate or go to extremes? Did you find a happy medium?

15. Others NeedsYour Needs Assertive Communication Find a Happy Medium

16. Assertive Communication What does it look like? Assertive Communication Characteristics: Steady even pace Sincere and clear attitude Constructive criticism without blame A willingness to explore other solutions We should learn to be assertive in our communication so that we can be open and honest without violating the rights of others. Why else is assertiveness important?

17. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness To many of us, assertiveness doesn’t come naturally. State the behavior observed Do not judge or assume! How does it affect you and how does it make you feel? Focus on the behavior rather than the person Ask for what you want When you are late, then I have to wait, and I feel frustrated. Can I count on you to be on time tomorrow? Review Keys to Assertive Tutoring handout

18. Assertive Tutoring Balloon Scenarios Pop your balloon and read your scenario. Which one of these scenarios most frustrates you? Why does this bother you? Which one of your values is being threatened? Produce an assertive statement which you could use in this circumstance.

19. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness Walking Small “Speedy” Episode

20. Assertive Communication Keys to Assertiveness - Activity Note a few situations from the video that you recognize one of the characters not being assertive. Partner up Answer the following questions: 1. What form of communication was the character using in your chosen situation? 2. What could the character have said to be more assertive? Act out your new and improved scene!