1. First Up! Peer Review Reflection Think back to your experience in your peer group. What worked? What didn't? What new insights did you gain about your writing? What could we do to have more effective peer review time for the next essay?

2. Grammar Time! Commas and Apostrophes

3. 10 Ways to Use A Comma 1. Before the coordinating conjunction that joins two independent clauses. Ex. I am terrified of spiders, so I screamed when one of them got into the bathroom. 2. To separate a dependent clause from an independent clause, but ONLY when the dependent clause comes first. Ex: When I saw the spider, I grabbed the nearest shoe.

4. Use a Comma 3. To separate introductory words or phrases from the rest of the sentence. Many times, these introductory words are adverbs or adjectives. Ex: Unfortunately, the spider was faster than I was. (adv) Ex: Searching carefully, I tried to find it. (intro. Phrase) Ex: To be sure I was ready, I went and got a can of Raid. (intro. phrase)

5. Use a Comma 4. To separate “extra information” clauses from the rest of the sentence. Example: My friend George, who is from Canada, is visiting me this week. (You don't need the info between the commas for the sentence to make sense.) On the other hand… Example: Students who have passed the test may move on to the next class. No commas are needed because "who have passed the test" is essential to the meaning of the sentence. Only those students who passed are moving on. Otherwise, the meaning of the sentence would be, “Students may move on to the next class.” This means something different from what the original sentence said, and so “who have passed the test” is necessary information and should not be surrounded by commas.

6. Use a Comma 5. To separate items in a series. Ex: She bought a cake, some streamers, and a box of candles in preparation for the party. 6. To separate adjectives describing the same noun. (sometimes) Use the “And" Test. If you can insert the word "and" between the adjectives, you need a comma. They live in an old, dreary house. (“They live in an old AND dreary house.” Sounds correct!) She wore bright red lipstick (“She wore bright AND red lipstick” Incorrect, because the color being described is bright red. So these are connected adjectives.

7. Use a Comma 7. To separate parenthetical expressions (extra information that interrupts the flow of the sentence). It is a good idea, I think, to get to class early. 8. To separate transition phrases from the rest of the sentence. In conclusion, I would like to thank you for coming.

8. Use a Comma 9. To separate dates, place names, and numbers. September 10, 1984, is my best friend's birthday. (Notice the comma after the day AND year.) She has lived at 314 W. Vine St., Woodland Hills, California, for many years. (Notice the comma after the address, town, AND state.) 10. To separate phrases expressing contrast. Her hard work, not her natural talent, helped her to pass the course.

9. Apostrophes Make Contractions Apostrophes indicate a missing letter in a contraction. The apostrophe goes where the missing letter would go. Incorrect: I cant' do this assignment without help. (WRONG. What letters is the apostrophe replacing? Where should it go?) Correct: I can't do this assignment without help. (RIGHT. The apostrophe goes between the n and the t.) Watch out for "cant" and "wont" on spell check. These are different words all on their own, but they don't mean the same thing as “can’t” and “won’t.” Also, remember the contraction it's means IT IS. Example: I can't open the door because it's locked and its key is missing.

10. Apostrophes Show Possession With most singular nouns, simply place an apostrophe and add an "s" on the end to show possession. Examples: I rubbed the dog's stomach. I went to Maria's house. If the noun ends in s already, add an additional "s" anyway BUT only if it is NOT plural Example: This is my boss's car. “Boss” is singular (one boss)

11. Showing Possession with Plural Nouns If a noun is plural place an apostrophe at the end but DO NOT add another "s." Examples: I collected the students' textbooks. The textbooks belonged to ALL of the students. I filled the cats' water bowl. The bowl belonged to MORE THAN ONE cat. If a plural noun is irregular and doesn't end in "s," place the apostrophe after the noun and add an "s." Examples: The teacher collected the children's permission slips. "children" is already plural She went to a women's conference. "women" is already plural

12. IMPORTANT: Apostrophes DO NOT Make Nouns Plural NEVER use an apostrophe to make a noun plural. I have three sister's. NO. I have three sisters. YES. We have 10 flavor’s of ice cream. NO. We have 10 flavors of ice cream. YES. An E xample of correct apostrophe use with plural nouns: The apostrophe shows that something belongs to something NOT that there is more than one of something. My three sisters' children came to visit this weekend. This indicates 3 SISTERS not 3 children. (The apostrophe is correct because something belongs to the sisters (who are more than one) – the children.)

13. Review the Basic Parts of any Essay First Paragraph: Introduction The purpose of an introduction is to set your reader up for the rest of the essay: Catch your reader’s attention, and get them interested in your narrative and the point you are making. Give the some BREIF background on the topic if they need it to understand your main idea (how you or someone else was a cultural broker) Give them your main idea ( thesis ) that you will be expanding on and supporting in the rest of the essay.

14. The Thesis The Thesis of your paper is the main idea of your paper, the point you are making, the main message you are communicating. If you had to shrink your essay down one sentence, that would be your thesis. If you aren’t sure what your main point is, you need to review your essay and make sure you have one and that the whole essay is focusing on it, or expanding on the different ideas connected to it! HINT: For this paper should be something about encountering a new culture and how you OR someone else acted as a cultural broker.

15. Body Paragraphs This is the main part of your essay. This is where you expand on your topic and support you thesis with vivid description, background and explanations, and reflection on the significance of the events you are describing. Organize your body paragraphs so that each body paragraph has a main point that connects to the main point (thesis) of your entire essay. Make sure that the paragraphs are organized in a logical manner. Remember: you can move your paragraphs around!

16. Conclusion The purpose of a conclusion is to conclude your essay in a way that lets your reader understand, in a short and clear paragraph, what they have just read. The purpose of the conclusion is to emphasize the basic essential points you want them to walk away with. What do you want your reader to remember and think about AFTER they are finished reading? THAT is the purpose of a conclusion.

17. Essay Development Often, students struggle with essays that wind up too short, and they struggle to make word count without repeating themselves to death. Students think they have to repeat themselves a lot in order to make minimum length—or else start talking about something completely off topic

18. The real problem is that these essays lack depth—they are not “developed” enough Rather than patiently developing each thought to its maximum potential before going on to the next logical thought, you’ve rushed the process—which cheats you out of more easily reaching the page length requirement and cheats your reader of engaging with an interesting and meaningful essay.

19. A TEN STEP METHOD TO WELL- DEVELOPED PARAGRAPHS

20. Step One Make sure that you have a focus for that paragraph—a main point that this paragraph will focus on. This should also connect back to your thesis in some way. As support, example, etc.

21. Step Two make a smooth transition into a paragraph that lays out your main focus for the paragraph as a controlling sentence (also called a topic sentence).

22. Step Three in the same paragraph, state why the point is important (this actually might be a linked sentence that is linked by “because,” if there is a cause and effect relationship).

23. Step Four Illustrate your point with an example: From your own life/experience Evidence from an outside source: Quote or Paraphrase from another text Other types of examples/evidence

24. Step Five State clearly why you used that illustration/example.

25. Step Six Make sure you have been as specific as possible and have completely explained words, statements, or ideas that might be vague or unclear to your reader.

26. Step Seven Decide what your next point is, thinking about what ideas might follow logically from this first body paragraph. Use a transition that links the two ideas to each other, and repeat steps 2 – 6.

27. Step Eight Continue in this fashion until you are ready for your conclusion.

28. Step Nine Make sure your conclusion reviews the basic points/main ideas you want your reader to remember and think about after they are done reading.

29. Step Ten 1. REVISE to take out all empty “filler” words and to make sure each paragraph contains sentences that relate specifically to that paragraph. 2. Check to make sure the order of the paragraphs follows some sort of logical organization—that each paragraph connects to the next and back to your thesis.

30. Give Me a Break! Please return in 10 minutes.

31. Don’t Forget! MLA Format Essay Basics Type all of your essay assignments Always include assignment information (heading) on the left hand side! Your Name: Firstname Lastname Class: English 21 Professor: Lawson (last name only is ok) Assignment and Draft: Essay 1 Final Draft Date: 6 October 2015 Word Count: [show how to find] Add Last Name and page number [ show how ] Formatting Paragraphs [ show how ]

32. Revision Guidelines Revising your work is an important part of the writing process. Every paper has the potential to be a fine piece of writing, but only after being polished and perfected. After you have written a first draft and gotten feedback from your peers and your instructor, it is time to revise.

33. Part 1: What a Revision Is Not: A revision is NOT turning in an unmarked copy of your rough draft. A revision is NOT only correcting one or two grammar mistakes. A revision is NOT simply adding a paragraph onto the end of your draft until it meets word count If you turn in an essay that only revises in these ways, it has not been revised and you should expect a grade that reflects that.

34. Part 2: What a Revision Is A revision DOES make changes that require you to delete, change, and add phrases and sentences throughout the assignment. In fact, a revision may require you to completely rewrite large sections of your assignment. A revision DOES try to fix problems with details and confusing sentences that your peers and your instructor pointed out. A revision DOES correct grammar and spelling mistakes you found in your draft.

35. “Big” Changes vs. “Little” Changes “Big” changes have to do with structure, order, and issues that affect your entire essay. "Little Changes" have to do with mechanics, word choice, and individual sentences. Do the “Big” changes first, then work on the little changes. It doesn’t make any sense to spend time proofreading and perfecting a paragraph that shouldn’t even be in your essay because it doesn’t belong.

36. You Need “Big” Changes If Your Peers Said: “I’m not sure this is a narrative yet.” "I don't really know why this event was important to you." "It was hard for me to imagine the story you were telling." "This paragraph doesn't have anything to do with the essay." "Your paragraphs are ok, but I don't see how they're connected."

37. You Need “Little” Changes If Your Peers Said: "You need more detail in this sentence." "This sentence is confusing." "I think you need a comma here." Every essay could always use some little changes. Go through your draft looking for places where your essay could be enhanced by specific detail rather then generalities, confusing phrases, etc.

38. Taking Responsibility for Your Revisions You as the writer of the essay are responsible for your revisions. Your peer group can give you suggestions, your instructor can give you feedback, but it is your responsibility to make the most of the revision process. You are in charge of choosing how (and if) to put your group’s feedback and your instructor’s advice to work. You are in charge of rewriting places in your essay that you have decided need improvement even if no one commented on them. You are in charge of proofreading your essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation. It was not your group’s job or your instructor’s job to find all of your errors.

39. Brief Demonstration of How to View Feedback on Turnitin.com I need a volunteer!

40. Grammar: Fragments: Dependent and Independent Clauses

41. Fragments A fragment is a group of words that is punctuated like a sentence, but is either missing a subject or a verb or cannot stand alone. An Independent Clause: has a subject and a verb AND stands alone as a sentence Dependent (Subordinate) clause: has subject & verb, but does NOT stand alone, usually because of a word at the beginning of the clause called a subordinating conjunction.

42. Dependent Clause Fragments Dependent clauses that are punctuated like sentences and are NOT connected to an independent clause are fragments. Ex: When the rain started falling. This is a FRAGMENT because it does not express a complete thought.

43. How to Fix a Dependent Clause Fragment Take away the subordinating conjunction, making the dependent clause into an independent clause (complete sentence). Ex: The rain started falling. (We got rid of “when.”) Join the fragment to a nearby related independent clause. Ex: When the rain started falling, we went inside.

44. A word of caution… Make sure that you connect your subordinate clause to a nearby sentence that makes sense. How would you fix the following passage? Would you connect the fragment to the first sentence or the second one? I took the bus home. When I got to my house. I saw that the door was open.

45. Correct fix: I took the bus home. When I got to my house, I saw that the door was open. It makes more sense to connect the second and third sentences because they are the ones that happened at the same time.

46. Commas and Dependent Clauses When a dependent clause comes before an independent clause, you must put a comma in between them. When the rain started falling, we went inside. When an independent clause comes before a dependent clause, you SHOULD NOT put a comma between them. We went inside when the rain started falling. So… Dependent clause first = need a comma Independent clause first = no comma

47. Dependent Clauses and Relative Pronouns Some dependent clauses start with words called “relative pronouns.” Who, that, and which are three common relative pronouns. (See list on p. 110) Dependent clauses that start with relative pronouns cannot stand on their own as sentences. I have a next door neighbor. Who had nine children. Connect the fragment to the nearby independent clause:

48. Textbook Practice: Do Exercise Sentences 1-5 on p. 108 Do Exercise Sentences 1-5 on p. 112 Continue with sentences 6 through 10 for both exercises if you have time.

49. Apply What You Have Learned! Work on your own rough drafts Underline or highlight fragments and correct them. Refer to pages 107 and 110 if you need to review! Make a note of underdeveloped paragraphs and how you might expand them. See page 321-325 if you want to review paragraph development Correct places where you have misplaced a comma or an apostrophe. Review apostrophes on page 596 and commas on page 132