1. Rationales Pre-Service Workshop

2. RATIONALES

3. Mom and Dad said…. “Because I said so, that’s why!” “It’s for your own good.” “If you don’t, I’ll tell your father.” “Just because!” “Because I’m the mom and you’re the child.”

4. rationale = reason. A rationale is a statement that shows the relationship between a behavior and an outcome or consequence. In other words…rationale = reason. Definition

5. Three Types of Rationales Benefit to Youth Shows what the person might get/gain through appropriate behavior and/or use of skill Concern for Others States the effect of the youth’s behavior on another Negative Outcome Points out the undesirable or unpleasant result of inappropriate behavior

6. “This is our goal – to make kids care about others.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. When To Use Corrective Teaching Interactions Preventive Teaching Effective Praise Problem Solving Family Meeting

8. Components of Effective Rationales Personal To Youth Easily Generalized Natural and Logical Outcomes Convincing and Believable Specific and Brief

9. When Using Rationales, Avoid: Using rules You have to follow instructions because it is a rule of our home. Using privileges If you don’t follow instructions you won’t make your privileges. Lecturing

10. Create Rationales Following Instructions Accepting Feedback Accepting Consequences Accepting a “No” Answer Interrupting Appropriately Ask Permission Reporting Whereabouts

11. Rationales Resources

12. Answers to Situations 1. "John, if you help Tom with his math, he will take less time doing it and then you will have more time to play basketball together." 2. Some appropriate rationales: "Participating in Family Meeting will give you a chance to learn how to present your side of an issue so that you can learn how to get what You want," (benefits underlined). Another possible answer is: "Participating in Family Meeting will teach you how to bring up your complaints in a constructive manner so that people will listen to you." Rationales which point out benefits which are related to any behavior which are displayed during Family Meeting are acceptable. Some inappropriate rationales: "It is your responsibility to participate in Family Meeting." It doesn't specify any benefits the youth can derive for participation. "Participating in Family Meeting is going to help you." Incomplete rationale since it doesn't specify in what ways it is going to help the youth.

13. Answers to Situations 3. Some correct rationales: "It is important that you learn how to greet guests in a friendly way so that you will make a 'good impression on them. When you want or need to make a good impression on someone like your boss, or your boyfriend's parents, you'll know how to do it.“ or: "You will be able to make a good impression on them and, if later on you need a favor, they will be able to help you.“ Some inappropriate rationales: "It is important to respect adults.” It doesn't indicate any benefits to the youth for being respectful. or: "You need to know how to greet an adult." It doesn't say why.

14. Answers to Situations 4."Donna, in the future you will be more likely to be able to use your parents' car if you don't take it when you don't have permission." (benefits underlined) 5. Some appropriate rationales: "You will be able to graduate sooner and you will have more freedom for doing the things you want to do." Some inappropriate rationales: "It is going to cost you a lot of points." Points should not he used as rationales. or: "You are going to 'lose your bonds.” Bonds should not be used as rationales.

15. Answers to Situations 6. Some appropriate rationales: "If you do what she asks you to do without arguing, she might be more likely to let you do what you want." or: "If you can show your mother that you are willing to cooperate, it is going to make it more pleasant for you around the home." Some inappropriate rationales: "You need to obey your mothers." It does not explain why. or: "Arguing doesn't accomplish anything." Not specific enough, how might arguing affect the youth? or: "Arguing is immature.“ It doesn't point out outcomes for the youth.

16. Answers to Situations 7."If you don't do your homework you are Probably going to get further behind the rest of the class and you might not be able to catch up again. Then you will probably have to take the course again without your friends." 8.Some appropriate rationales: "If you lie, we are not going to be able to believe anything you say even if you are telling the truth." or: "Lying is going to make your problem worse." Some inappropriate rationales: "Lying is immoral.“ It does not provide outcomes for the youth. or: "It is important that you tell the truth." It does not explain why.

17. 9. "She could get hurt." or: "She could be suspended from school and that might damage her reputation in the community." or: "It could really hurt her reputation and minimize her chance of making friends." Some inappropriate rationales: "Fighting is immature." It doesn't provide outcomes for the youth. or: "Girls shouldn't fight." Same as above.

18. Sample Answer "By calling John a "dummy" you are going to make it a lot harder for all of us to have a pleasant atmosphere in the home because John doesn't like the way you act toward him. Therefore, he is likely to act toward you in a way that you don't like either. Besides, calling somebody a dummy is not polite nor considerate for the other person's feelings. Would you like it if somebody called you a dummy? It would probably make you feel very bad."

19. Sample Answer 11."Tom, I noticed that sometimes you have a strong perspiration odor and that's made it hard for me to be too close to you. I would suggest you start showering once a day so that people won't keep away from you because of your odor, not just here in the home, but in school also."

20. Sample Answer 11."Laura, if you smoke in public places such as in the streets or outside school, the people who see you and who know you live here in the home will be very critical of you. That is, they will think you are not learning anything. They will probably develop a bad opinion of you, and if you ever need the community's help in order to help you stay in the '­community, you won't be able to get it. So, if you want to smoke, you can do it here, at your place if your parents let you or over at your friends' homes if their parents let you, but make it as private as possible."

21. Rationales Teach Preferred Behavior Compliance Decision Making Fairness Help youth learn the important relationship between their behavior and the various consequences which may result Youth prefer parents whose disciplinary actions are accompanied by “rational” explanations Youth are more likely to comply with their parents’ requests if the parents provide explanations for their rules and requests Youth whose parents provide rationales for rules and requests are more likely to be confident in their own ideas and opinions (independent decision- making) Parents are perceived as pleasant, fair and concerned if they use rationales. This will help parents to be more effective and better liked.

22. Use Rationales Teaching new skills Reinforcing appropriate behavior Effective praise Teaching interactions During counseling Family meeting When cons equation inappropriate behavior In general conversation

23. In Giving Rationales Use natural consequences and real life experiences Make it personal to the youth Be specific and brief (no lectures) Make it short term and believable Use rationales to teach concern for others

24. AVOID Using rules Using privileges Lecturing Thinking a good rationale will change behavior Arguing about a rationale

25. Rationales Specific natural consequence (positive, negative) Personal to youth Brief (avoids lecturing) Convincing and believable (short term) Rationale relates to teaching concern for others

26. Quality Components Empathy Voice tone Proximity and physical contact Praise

27. Exercise What would you do if your youth was smoking? How would you explain that smoking is “bad”?

28. Rationales Pre-Service Workshop This training presentation is available for download at: www.utahparenting.org © 2007 Utah Youth Village.