Class folders due soon!! (See syllabus for date) 20 Points off for each calendar day late.

Ch. 18 Families

Today’s coming attractions!! What would lower your chance of divorce? What will increase your chances of divorce? What makes healthy families?

What would lower your chance of divorce?

Factors Percent Decrease in Risk of Divorce Annual income over $50,000 (vs. under $25,000) -30 Having a baby seven months or more after marriage (vs. before marriage) -24 Marrying over 25 years of age (vs. under 18) -24 Own family of origin intact (vs. divorced parents) -14 Religious affiliation (vs. none) -14 Some college (vs. high-school dropout) -13

What will increase your chances of divorce? Individualism Unexpected pregnancy Alcohol or substance abuse Financial strains

What will increase your chances of divorce? (Cont.) Young people marrying after a short courtship Cohabitation Romantic love often subsides? Traditional (nuclear) family is eroding  Staying single is up  Divorce is up  More children born to single mothers

John Gottamn – Why marriages succeed or fail Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Criticism  Attacking personality  Generalizations Contempt  Name calling  Sarcasm  Body language – e.g. “Rolling Eyes”

John Gottamn – Why marriages succeed or fail (Cont.) Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Defensiveness  Making excuses  Cross complaining  Yes-butting Stonewalling  Silence  Leaving

John Gottamn – Why marriages succeed or fail (Cont.) Remedies  Specific complaints  Validate your partner  Shift to appreciation 5X more positives than negatives

Traits of Healthy Families Communicate and listen Support each other Respect Trust Play and humor Responsibility Rituals and traditions  Story of the rose

Big ideas you can use! In a relationship: Talk about your feelings Listen to your partner Help your partner get what they want Have a partner you can respect and trust Have fun Develop rituals or traditions that identify you as a couple.

Tomorrow’s coming attractions!! Please read the handout. When is a good day teaching a bad thing? What is considered “deep learning” What is our “hidden contract”? “Critical thinking” vs. precise grading What do you want from a course?