An introductory and critical appraisal Kenny Boyd and Lindsey Stewart

Take 5 minutes and ask yourselves: “If you were experiencing an in depth sense of connection with each other right now, how would you know?” “What would you be feeling in yourself?” “What would your experience of the other person be like?”

 ‘ When I am at my best…I discover another characteristic. I find that I am closest to my inner, intuitive self, when I am somehow in touch with the unknown in me, when I am perhaps in a slightly altered state of consciousness then whatever I do seems to be full of healing. Our relationship transcends itself and becomes a part of something larger. Profound growth and healing and energy are present’. Rogers (1980)

 ‘ A moment of profound contact and engagement in which each person is fully real with the other.’ (Cooper 2005)  ‘ A heart to heart meeting, often taking place without words.’ (Connelly 2009)  ‘ like electricity flowing from one to the other ’ (Macleod 2009)

 Cooper (2005) – his study suggested therapists felt heightened feelings of empathy, acceptance, immersion, expansion and greater perceptual clarity at moments of relational depth. They also experienced their clients as highly transparent and coming from the core.  “Moments of ‘pure communication”  “Something ‘truly wondrous”  “Something ‘spiritual”  “We were not client and therapist in that moment, but two human souls willing to be viewed and accepted by each other” Relational depth New Perspectives: Eds: Knox, Murphy, Wiggins, Cooper Chapter 2 ‘Meeting at Relational Depth in Therapy: The Lived Encounter

Have you ever felt something like this? Can you describe this feeling?

“ I knew what she was going to say, she knew what I was going to say. Each knew what was going on for the other person. I understood where she was coming form, she understood where I was coming from.” Relational depth New Perspectives: Eds: Knox, Murphy, Wiggins, Cooper Chapter 2: Relational depth from the client’s perspective “He was someone who helped me go through the deepest experience of my life. He was my midwife. He gave birth to me” “One to One”: Dinnage R (1988) “It was as if we were one. As if…. almost as if I was talking to that being that is within me anyway. Relational depth New Perspectives: Eds: Knox, Murphy, Wiggins, Cooper Introduction: the in-depth encounter

 A key assumption by Mearns and Cooper (2005) is that relational depth promotes healing and makes for more effective therapy. The more that clients experience relational depth at particular helpful moments in therapy the more they ‘improve’.  The longer term effects of these moments of relational depth seem to be that it helps clients foster an increased connection to their own selves, helps them feel better and more powerful and enjoy improved relationships with others. Leung (2008)

 An ability to create a warm, safe, welcoming atmosphere  Acting in a way that is trustworthy, reliable and professional.  Appearing psychologically strong, comfortable in their own selves  Holding similar beliefs or perceived lifestyles to the client.  Not faking things or putting themselves on a professional pedestal.  Relational depth was also experienced by clients with therapists they identified as offering something over and above what they would expect from a professional relationship – feeling cared for, nurtured, the therapist really feeling on their side; not just neutral or non-judgmental but prizing the client and seeing things their way.

 Studies show that relational depth has perhaps less to do with therapists and more to do with the characteristics of clients themselves. Knox and Cooper (2011).  Relational depth often seems to follow a challenge from the therapist or a change in how clients are experiencing the therapeutic relationship.  Clients also talked about their own readiness, and desire to engage at depth being a factor; a deliberate choice to open up. So relational depth may be heavily influenced by client motivation or the ‘right type of clients’.

 Intellectualising  Using Techniques  Anticipation  Hurrying the client – not allowing space  Valuing certain parts of the client over others  Focusing on content rather than the client

 Sue Wilder describes Mearns and Cooper’s definition of relational depth as directive and agenda led. Wilder also…  … argues their approach to relational depth involves imposing your use of ‘self’on the client.  …is critical of Mearns & Cooper’s definition of therapist congruence – what is “fully real”?  …challenges the assumption that relational depth is a development of the person-centred approach.  …highlights the conditionality of relational depth.

Is creating relational depth additional to the core conditions? Is this an agenda on the part of the counsellor? How does relational depth fit with working in a person centred approach? ‘ Over time, I think that I have become more aware of the fact that in therapy I do use my self. I recongise that when I am intensely focused on a client, just my presence seems to be healing. I am inclined to think I have stressed too much the 3 basic conditions (UPR etc). Perhaps it is something around the edges of these conditions that is really the most important element of therapy – when my self is very clearly, obviously present.’ Rogers (1980)

 R. Dinnage (1988)”One to One” Penguin, London  D. Mearns, M. Cooper (2005 ) “Working at Relational Depth in Counselling and Psychotherapy” Sage Publications, London.  R. Knox, D. Murphy, S. Wiggins M. Cooper (Eds) (2013) “Relational Depth – New Perspectives and Developments” Palgrave Macmillan, New York. Ch.2 “Relational depth from the client’s perspective” by Rosanne Knox Ch.4 “Assessing relational depth: developing the Relational Depth Inventory” by Sue Wiggins Ch.11 “Experiencing relational depth: self-development exercises and reflections” by Mick Cooper Ch.15 “The Person-Centred approach: similarities and differences with relational depth” by Sue Wilders  S. Wilders (2006) Relational Depth and the Person Centred Approach  I. D. Yalom (2002) “The Gift of Therapy”., Piatkus Books