Geneva 1/2/03 Welcome to the Seminar on Biblical Peacemaking

Geneva 1/2/03 AIMS OF SEMINAR  Increase understanding of biblical principles for handling conflict  See conflict in a more positive light  Focus on 1 or 2 areas where you could grow as a peacemaker

Geneva 1/2/03 Where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, There will eventually be conflict !

Geneva 1/2/03 PEACEMAKING IS NOT OPTIONAL Make every effort to maintain peace… Eph As far as it depends on you, live at peace.. Romans May they be brought to complete unity… John

Geneva 1/2/03 Peace brings  Blessing Psalm 133  PowerMathew  Effective witnessJohn BUT contrast the devastating effect of strife The stakes are high

Geneva 1/2/03 What is Conflict? A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.

Geneva 1/2/03 KEY QUESTIONS  How should we respond to our own conflicts?  How can we help others to respond to their conflicts?

Geneva 1/2/03 The Slippery Slope

Geneva 1/2/03 A biblical theology for conflict resolution... G lorify God G et the log out of your own eye G o and show your brother his fault G o and be reconciled The Four G’s

Geneva 1/2/03 1 st G Glorify God 1 Cor  How can I honour and please God in this situation  Powerful and penetrating question for whenever we hit conflict

Geneva 1/2/03 Conflict provides opportunities...  Glorify God  Serve other people  Grow to be like Christ

Geneva 1/2/03 REMEMBER  A dversity  B uilds  C haracter

Geneva 1/2/03 STEWARDS of CONFLICT  Not Why Me Lord? but rather Why LORD?  Conflict is an Assignment not an Accident

Geneva 1/2/03 2 nd G Get Log out of Own Eye Mathew 7.5  How have I contributed to the conflict?  What do I need to do to resolve it?

Geneva 1/2/03 Can I OVERLOOK the offence ? Proverbs  Why should I ?  When should I ?  How should I ?

Geneva 1/2/03 If too serious to overlook  Examine yourself  True Repentance for causing or inflaming the conflict  Full and gracious apology often paves the way for softening of hearts

Geneva 1/2/03 The Seven A’s of Confession  Address everyone involved  Avoid if, but, and maybe  Admit specifically  Apologize  Accept the consequences  Alter your behavior  Ask for forgiveness

Geneva 1/2/03 3 rd G GO and SHOW YOUR BROTHER HIS FAULT Mathew  How can I help others to understand how they have contributed to this conflict Gal 6.1  May discover a misunderstanding  May find you are wrong  May help other person to avoid the snare of unforgiveness

Geneva 1/2/03 Elements of effective confrontation  Pray and Plan  Anticipate possible responses  Private  Sensible time and place  Face to face  Gracious tone of voice  Body language

Geneva 1/2/03 Effective confronation contd  Communication skills  Avoid exaggeration or wild language  Use Bible wisely  Exit strategy

Geneva 1/2/03 Involving others  Mediation If he will not listen, take one or two witnesses…Mathew  Church Discipline If he still will not listen, tell it to the Church…Mathew  Litigation Only when all else has failed 1 Cor

Geneva 1/2/03 4 th G Go and be Reconciled Mathew  Forgive as God forgave you  Parable of unjust servant Mathew 18  A decision not a feeling  Replacement principle Phil 4.8

Geneva 1/2/03 Forgiveness is a decision to make four promises  I will not think about this incident  I will not bring this incident up and use it against you  I will not talk to others about this incident  I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship

Geneva 1/2/03 Negotiation The PAUSE Principle  Prepare  Affirm Relationships  Understand Interests  Search for creative solutions  Evaluate options objectively and reasonably

Geneva 1/2/03 IdentifyIdentify Issues Positions Interests - often the key

Geneva 1/2/03 Communication Skills Listen actively... Waiting Clarifying Reflecting Agreeing

Geneva 1/2/03 People come up with amazing excuses to avoid obeying God’s word  I shouldn’t judge others  It’s up to God to show him that he’s done wrong  It’s too trivial  There’s nothing to resolve as far as I’m concerned  I’ll deal with it in my own time  Things have gone too far – there’s no way back now

Geneva 1/2/03 Word Picture Husband and Wife Discussion  What were Wife’s position(s)  What were her Interest(s)  What were Husband’s position(s)  What were his Interest(s)  How could Wife have avoided Husband’s misunderstandings about what she had been thinking and vice versa

Geneva 1/2/03 Slippery Slope Janet Farley takeover  Where did the ousted women’s group Chair start? What was her first reply to her daughter?  Where did she get to in the end?  Where was she at various times on the Slippery Slope?  What should she do next?

Geneva 1/2/03 Jesus said Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God Remember the peacemaker junkie ! Shalom and Au Revoir