Grit, Resiliency, & Mindset Information from: Dweck, C.S. Mindset. Random House: New York. 2006

Grit and Resiliency

“Grit as an unalloyed good.” -- Alfie Kohn

Grit and Resiliency There is also resiliency And...? “One of the main reasons we need to talk about grit and resiliency in our kids is because there is not enough talk about empathy in our world.” -- Tom Maglisceau

Building Resiliency & Empathy Teach skills that boost coping ability  Time management  Expect bumps in the road  Change is hard (even good change)  Take a breath  Ask for help  Provide assistance

Building Resiliency & Empathy Make connections with your kids Teach empathy Encourage students to help others  Inward focus leads to doubt, not confidence  Outward focus widens “emotional horizons”  Perspective... AKA, MINDSET

Nine-year-old Elizabeth was on her way to her first gymnastics meet. Lanky, flexible, and energetic, she was just right for gymnastics, and she loved it. Of course, she was a little nervous about competing, but she was good at gymnastics and felt confident of doing well. She had even thought about the perfect place in her room to hang the ribbon she would win. In the first event, the floor exercises, Elizabeth went first. Although she did a nice job, the scoring changed after the first few girls and she lost. Elizabeth also did well in the other events, but not well enough to win. By the end of the evening, she had received no ribbons and was devastated.

What would you say to Elizabeth if you were her parent? 1. Tell Elizabeth that you thought she was the best. 2. Tell her she was robbed of a ribbon that was rightfully hers. 3. Reassure her that gymnastics is not that important. 4. Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time. 5. Tell her she didn’t deserve to win.

Questions About Intelligence With which statement do you mostly agree? 1.Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change very much. 2.You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are. 3.No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it quite a bit. 4.You can always substantially change how intelligent you are.

Questions About Ability With which statement do you mostly agree? 1.You are a certain kind of person, and there is not much that can be done to really change that. 2.No matter what kind of person you are, you can always change substantially. 3.You can do things differently, but the important parts of who you are can’t really be changed. 4.You can always change basic things about the kind of person you are.

Talking Mindset The Fixed Mindset says: You have a certain amount of intelligence and that’s it. Success is due to ability, not effort.  These people struggle and give up because they don’t have the ability and they think, Well, that’s it. Time to hit the beach—YOLO!!!

Talking Mindset The Growth Mindset says: The brain is a muscle; you can improve at anything with effort. Effort ignites ability and turns it into accomplishment  these people feel comfortable when there is a lot of risk that creates a challenge to ability. Failure is not final.... It’s feedback.

Teaching Mindset Promote trust—build relationships Powerful words Reflection Talk to kids about grit, resiliency, empathy, and mindset!

Instead of... Try thinking... I’m not good at this I give up It’s good enough I don’t know What am I missing? What do I know? Is this the best I can do? Who can I ask? Reframing

Resiliency From the field of ecology: The measure of the ability of an ecosystem to absorb changes and still persist. Persist: to continue firmly or obstinately in spite of difficulty.

The SCARF Model “Research has shown that humans have a fundamental need to belong, are incredibly sensitive to their social context, and are strongly motivated to remain in good standing with their social group and avoid social exclusion.” - David Rock

The SCARF Model Five domains of human social experience: Status – importance to others Certainty – ability to predict the future Autonomy – sense of control over events Relatedness – sense of safety with others Fairness – perception of fair exchanges

The SCARF Model How do we minimize the continuation of adverse childhood experiences? How do we maximize the introduction of positive childhood/adolescent interaction?

Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. - Chinese Proverb

Tom Maglisceau (Tom Maglisceau) RHHS Remind101 to number: 81010