Sermon INTRODUCTION Home Grown Resolutions Parenting By Grace

There’s no weird like family weird The bible never commands us to marry the person we love, but we ARE commanded to love the person we marry, even if that person becomes our enemy

1. The Key Relationship in the Family is that of Husband and Wife. 2. The Raising of Children Requires the Involvement of Both Parents 3. Parenting Requires a Reordering of our Priorities

Remember that, typically, the majority of our relationship with our kids will be spent as Adult to Adult, not Adult to child A successful career plus a failed family = a half successful life.

We determine the trajectory of our relationship with our adult kids when they are young. ANGER = DANGER

25] Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. [26] Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, [27] and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4:25-27 ESV)

A CLOSED SPIRIT A closed spirit happens when the spirit has been wounded, usually by being treated in a disrespectful way.

-Lacking interest in things that are special to me. -Criticizing unjustly. -Allowing my brother or sister to put me down. -Being told how to do something that I was doing on my own. -Nagging me. -Bossing me.

-Feeling unnoticed or unappreciated. -Being ignored. -Not being considered a thinking and feeling person. -Not noticing my accomplishments. -Making tactless comments. -Getting my hopes up to do something as a family and then not following through

-Being corrected without being reminded that they love me. -Being disciplined in harshness and anger. -Raising their voices to each other. -Punishing me severely for something that I didn't do. -Being distracted when I really have something to day

-Insulting me in front of others. -Being treated like a little child. -Not feeling like I am special to them. -Seeing my father put my mother down, especially in front of company.

-Seldom touching or holding me. -Seeing my mom and dad trying to get revenge against each other. -Sensing that my dad never approves of what I do or how I do it. -Making me feel like they wish they never had me in the first place

-Yelling at me when I already know I'm wrong. -Making me feel like I hadn't tried to improve at something when I really had.

Would you want someone to talk to you that way? OVERCOMING A CLOSED SPIRIT IS A BIG CHALLENGE OF LOVE

Unresolved conflict is a huge source of teen rebellion. Most “teen rebellion” is not simply going against the rules; it is going against a relationship

-Does s/he like me to hug or touch him/ her -Does the child come and spontaneously hug me when I first see him/her after school or at home? -Does my child respect what we as parents respect in life?

-Does s/he choose activities that we would approve for her/him? -Does s/he like to talk with us? ( or is conversation grunts and one word answers) -In general is s/he in agreement with our convictions? -Does s/he like being with us?

-In general does s/he demonstrate affection for us? -Does s/he normally look me in the eyes when talking with me?

How to open a closed spirit 1.Be tender and gentle 2.Be understanding of his/her heart pain and how s/he interpreted your injurious behavior. 3.Admit your fault.- Lead with Repentance

4. Ask for Forgiveness 5. Seek to give physical contact

The grace of God is the antidote to the anger and woundedness we experience in a fallen world. Grace also releases the power for one-way love toward our kids, and it makes restoration possible