Push your Boundaries Sue Stockdale

How emotions drive our responses

In which areas of coaching do you want to “push your boundaries”? Type of client Type of issues you work with Processes you use (e.g. assessment, tools) Your pricing Reflective practice and supervision Level of professionalism Knowledge Dealing with silence, lack of action, challenge

What helps us? Confidence in our own ability Desire to explore the “unknown” Acceptance of consequence Willingness to learn (from mistakes) Trends – others doing it Tolerance of “failure” Supportive environment Our attitude towards risk

Quality of Performance High Low Medium Performance vs. Stress High Level of Stress/Arousal

Commitment Acceptance Change curve Denial Resistance Adapted from Kubler-Ross Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work

Arena Known to all Façade Known to self Unknown to others Hidden Potential Unknown to all Blind-spot Unknown to self Known to others Johari Window Ref: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham

Arena Known to all

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction ResponseThinking ACTION Known To All +veExcitement “This is comfortable” Engage Minimal Effort Commitment Known To All Reluctant acceptance What’s the point? Threat avoidance “I don’t like this task” -veAntipathy Resignation Known To All -veAntipathy Known To All -ve “I don’t like this task” Antipathy Known To All -veThreat avoidance “I don’t like this task” Antipathy Known To All -ve What’s the point? Threat avoidance “I don’t like this task” Antipathy Known To All -ve Reluctant acceptance Known To All -ve Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Hazardous Thinking Patterns Anti-Authority – no one tells me what to do Impulsiveness – do something…anything Invincibility – it will never happen to me Macho – I can do it Resignation – whats the point? Ref: US Coast Guard

Ways to address hazardous Thinking Patterns Anti-Authority – identify there are always rules Impulsiveness – stop and take a breath Invincibility – review what you actually did Macho – recognise others are likely to already know you can do it Resignation – think what difference could I make here? Ref: US Coast Guard

Commitment Acceptance Where is your focus? Denial Resistance Adapted from Kubler-Ross Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work PASTPRESENTFUTURE “What is”“What could be” “What was”

Blind-spot Unknown to you Known to others

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction ResponseThinking ACTION Unknown To You & Known to Others +veExcitement “I can learn from them” RelateWhat’s this? Commitment Anti-Authority No-one tells me what to do Defensive “They might find out my weakness” -veFear Unknown To You & Known to Others Resistance Ref: Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Unknown to You Known to Others Feedforward 1.Pick one area to improve or change 2.Let go of the past 3.Ask for ideas 4.Listen and thank 5.Follow-up Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith

Identify one behaviour that you would like to change or improve e.g. more structured at start of session, doing more CPD Share it with another person and ask for one or two ideas Person offers ideas – you LISTEN and say THANK YOU – no discussions or judgements Ask them what they want to improve or change and offer them one or two ideas – THEY LISTEN and say THANK YOU Both move on to get more ideas from other people Feedforward Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith

Façade Known to self Unknown to others

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction ResponseThinking ACTION Known To You & Unknown To Others +veSurprise “This is a chance to shine” Enjoyment I can be of value to others Commitment DenialI’ll show themEngage “I can’t believe they don’t know this? -veSurprise Known To You & Unknown To Others Macho or Invincibility Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

My top five strengths are: Futuristic - Wouldn’t it be great if? Activator - When can we start? Significance - to be recognised Maximiser – Excellent not average Focus – Where am I headed? Focus on Strengths

Hidden Potential Unknown to all

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments Situation Emotional Reaction ResponseThinking ACTION Unknown To All +veExcitement “I am curious” Engage What can we learn? Acceptance Unknown To All Commitment Do something ….anything Threat avoidance “This is scary” -veFear Impulsiveness Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Your level of comfort with change (stretch) Willingness to communicate thoughts and feelings (transparency) Ability to show vulnerability Confidence in your own capabilities Your ability to be aware of, and question assumptions Factors that will help you to step into unknown

Influence & No Control No Influence & No Control Influence & Control Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper From Cope with Change at Work

Helping people to achieve exceptional performance