The First Rule of Writing Show, Don't Tell The First Rule of Writing
What is Show, Don’t Tell? The Show, Don’t Tell method of writing is when the writer is able to create a picture in the reader's mind, to get away from the repetition of such empty words like went, big, or said.
Brain Pop Show, Don’t Tell http://www.brainpop.com/english/writing/shownottell/
Read the next two slides. How do they compare?
Which is better? This . . . When I left my office that beautiful spring day, I had no idea what was in store for me. To begin with, everything was too perfect for anything unusual to happen. It was one of those days when a man feels good, feels like speaking to his neighbor, is glad to live in a country like ours, and proud of his government. You know what I mean, one of those rare days when everything is right and nothing is wrong.
Or This? I left work feeling happy. It was a good day.
What differences did you see in the two versions? The first version: -was much longer -had describing words such as beautiful spring day -created a mood -built up a feeling that something was about to happen
Check out one more example of how Show, Don’t Tell helps make a story more interesting.
Which is better? This . . . As graceful as any queen, with her head high in the air, and her long red tail arched in a perfect rainbow, my little dog walked down the table. With her warm gray eyes staring straight at me, on she came. Walking up to me, she laid her head on my shoulder. As I put my arms around her, the crowd exploded.
Or This? Little Ann walked across the table towards Billy. She did a good job, and the men cheered.
In the first version could you picture Little Ann as she competed in the beauty contest? Go back and highlight words that described Little Ann. Find the metaphor. Little Ann’s tail was compared to what?
Which is better? I missed the bus. I raced down the road, wildly waving my hands, and yelling, “Stop, stop,” but the bus traveled on down the road without stopping.
Which is better? The broken windows and creaking hinges made me tremble as I slowly crossed the shadowed yard towards the dilapidated house. I was scared as I walked towards the haunted house.
Which is better? My teeth chattered as I blew warm breath on my numb fingers. I am cold.
Which is better? My friend is a very good artist. My pleasure grew as I slowly examined one masterpiece after another. Why, George, you’re work could be shown at the Gallery of Fine Arts!
Which is better? My coat is too small. As I tried to twist my arms out of my jacket I thought I was going to pull my shoulders out of their sockets.
Now let’s revisit the sentences we wrote at the start of class Now let’s revisit the sentences we wrote at the start of class. Are they showing and not telling how beautiful the day was? What descriptive adjectives did you use? What sensory details did you add?