Parenting our Children Online (POCO) Sarah Nicholson Facilitators

Welcome Sarah Nicholson Parenting Our Children Online (POCO) Facilitator How much do you know about internet safety?

Aims of the Session Develop a greater understanding of how children and young people use the internet Feel confident about discussing your child’s online world with them Be more informed about what to do if you have a worry about what your child is doing online

Parenting dilemmas You find that your 10 year old son is playing games online when he said he was doing is home work You 5 year old son and his cousin want to watch Thomas the Tank on YouTube Your 14 year daughter tells you she has downloaded a movie she hasn’t seen yet from an illegal file sharing site Your 12 year old son has just started a new school and tells you he wants a Facebook account Your daughter tells you her friend has been sharing naked pictures of herself with her boyfriend

Parenting Spectrum Controlling – stopping your child having access to particular websites/internet completely Confident – feeling you have the knowledge and confidence to discuss this and agree some rules together Casual - not feeling confident about online activity so ignoring what your child is doing, hope it will be ok ControllingConfidentCasual

W – W - W WHAT do children and young people do online? WHERE do they go online, what websites do they use? WHO do they talk to online?

Who are your children talking to online? Discuss with your child who they are friends with online, have they met them in real life? Ask them what social networks they are on Ask what gaming sites they play on Ask them to show you their privacy settings on their accounts

Where are children going online? Ask your child to show you their favourite websites Look at internet history – discuss setting ‘safe’ parameters of where children can go Discuss with your child what they look at online, e.g. Gaming forums, chat rooms, video download sites etc.

What are your children doing online? Ask your child what movies they watch online or what music they download Think about what security settings you might want to put on your devices e.g. Setting safety modes Discuss starting a family internet Policy Remind them they can talk to you if they see anything that upsets them online

Reporting Concerns online Any illegal content should be reported to the IWF (Internet Watch Foundation) Any abuse online can be reported to Click CEOP If a child is being bullied online they can receive help at Any problems online should be reported to the website the child was on. If serious enough concerns should also be reported to the Police.

WHAT do children use the internet for? Internet Gaming Homework Social Networking –Facebook, Instagram, Twitter Sharing videos, blogs, pictures Shopping

WHAT do children do online?

WHERE do children go online? Social Network Sites – Lots of sites are set up for children of different ages, not all have moderators in Gaming Sites – Children can talk to different gamers whilst playing online – these are not monitored Video Sharing Sites – e.g. YouTube, millions of videos posted daily, many are not suitable for children Shopping Sites – Children may access inappropriate products and services – cookies can also capture information about your child's activity online to target advertising towards them

WHERE do children go online? Chat Sites – Some sites encourage children to talk to strangers online – allow to search for those local to them – also can allow them to be targeted easily Advice Sites - Some sites may provide ‘advice’ to children that is not appropriate e.g. Dieting websites etc. * Visit some sites you feel happy for your child to use – put into internet safety agreement*

WHO do children talk to online? Gamers - children can use sites such as Minecraft to play against friends and strangers online ‘Friends’ - Social networking sites allow communication with friends or friends of friends. Some children may have ‘friends’ they have never met in real life Avatars – Online characters on sites such as Moshi monsters or Club penguin – check moderation level

WHO do children talk to online? Strangers – Some sites such as Twitter, BBM and KIK allow children to ‘follow’ and send messages to strangers Anonymous – Sites such as askfm allow users to ask questions/talk to other anonymous strangers randomly selected Video chat - Sites such as Omegle and Chat Roulette allow webcams to be used to ‘chat’ to other strangers How could you talk to your child about their online friends What are you worried about your child doing online?

Concerning behaviour online Downloading/Streaming movies/images – a child might be using illegal sites to do this without realising Creating and uploading videos – Posting videos of themselves or others online e.g. through YouTube (over 13yrs) that may pose a risk Sharing photos and videos – Sending sexualised images of themselves or others can be referred to as ‘sexting’ – once it’s sent it’s “out there” Gambling – Children may falsely claim to be older than they are to access online gambling sites In game purchases online – using credit card details

Concerning behaviour online Bullying or harassing others – This may be someone they know via a social networking site or anonymously e.g. Askfm or Omegle - this is sometimes referred to as ‘trolling’ Hacking - Where children ‘hack’ into others account such as Facebook often called ‘Fraping’ (which many feel is an offensive term) Dating – Children can often claim to be over 18 and access online dating sites to talk to older people online where they can often be groomed and incited to send sexualised images of themselves Where are the webcams in your house?

The next two slides are some case examples of inappropriate contact online.... Think of something you do every day, at home, that takes 20 – 25 minutes When you are doing this activity, where are your children?

12 year old girl on MSN messenger talking to an older boy in her school.... (19:47) Luceee:heyaaaaa (19:47) Ben:lolage (19:47) Luceee:u ok (19:47) Ben:yh u... cn i see ur pussy thn bbe? (19:47) Luceee:nopeee (19:48) Ben:why? (19:48) Luceee:becauseee (19:48) Ben:because wat???? (19:49) Ben:tell me why? (19:49) Luceee:errrrmmmm cz im to yound as u even said : (19:50) Ben:haha yh but things cud change (19:50) Luceee:haha (19:50) Ben:they cud :/ (19:50) Luceee:haha they wunt n tht is just bribe or w.e (19:50) Ben:no its not bbe (19:51) Luceee:iss (19:51) Ben:no its not bbe (19:51) K Luceee :k then (19:51) Ben:i mean it bbe (19:53) Luceee:uno i like u but u said im too young sooo ( 19:53) Ben:yh but feelins change (19:54) Luceee:k (19:54) Ben::L (19:59) Luceee:okay then (20:00) Ben:booobies!!!

Adam to Laura Hi x Adam to Laura Pic of Adam Laura to Adam What is that Laura to Adam Is that ur willy Adam to Laura Yeah. U like? Laura to Kik Admin Help me now and someone sent me a picture of there willy and I'm 8 years old Kik Messenger Kik Admin to Laura Unfortunately, I'm a bot and not smart enough to help you. If you have a question, visit help.kik.com Laura to Adam I'm 8 years old dont send me rude photos Adam to Laura How old r u? Adam to Laura Pic of Adam Laura to Adam 8 Adam to Laura Ok. You like my picture? Laura to Adam No is it your willy Adam to Laura Yes. Can I see you vagina? Laura to Adam No Adam to Laura Why? Adam to Laura So? Please? Laura to Adam Because I'm 8 Adam to Laura Ill send you more pictures. Laura to Adam Ok wait there Laura to Adam Pic of laura Adam to Laura I can't see it properly.Do you have an iPhone? Laura to Adam Ok hang on Laura to Adam No I don't Adam to Laura iPod? Laura to Adam Yes Adam to Laura Can you FaceTime? Adam to Laura You wanna FaceTime instead and show me? Adam then talks the child through the process of using her ipod on line and showing him self generated images of herself! An adult male sexually grooms an 8 year old girl he has just met online....

Different safety measures Talking to your child about your concerns Agree sites you are happy for them to use Set up different security modes online e.g. YouTube Safety mode and Google SafeSearch to help filter content you don’t want your child to see Turning off in-app purchasing on smartphones/tablets Check privacy settings on accounts such as Facebook etc.

Different Safety measures Ensure webcams are in a shared space Talk to your child about how they use the internet on their phones/tablets/at school etc. Encourage children to recognise if they feel uncomfortable about something to tell you or another trusted adult If you have a concern about what your child is doing online, decide whether you need to involve your child’s school or even the Police Consider a FAMILY INTERNET CONTRACT that says what children can do at what age, rules and boundaries

Remember Millions of children access the internet everyday and most do so in a safe secure way that enriches their learning and social experience... However, there are risks out there and as parents we need to have the knowledge and confidence to help our children manage those risks to keep themselves safe..... Netaware We all make mistakes. Chat about how you would address something if it went wrong, you are setting a safe way for them to connect to you. O2 will look at any device – parental settings

Any Questions???

Thank you Sarah Nicholson POCO Facilitator Any concerns about anything we have discussed today please contact NSPCC on