Creed Greer Associate Program Director Dial Center for Written and Oral Communication Professional Writing 13 December Building Strong Sentences

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December Five Basic Strategies 1. Think subject-verb (prefer the active voice and concrete subjects). 2. Use reasonable but varied sentence length. 3. Write positively. 4. Write concretely and visually. 5. Avoid long noun strings and jargon. Building Strong Sentences

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Keep Subject and Verb Together Difficult: Movements resulting from terminations, layoffs, transfers in, transfers out, promotions in, promotions out, and promotions within are currently documented in the Human Resources File.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Keep Subject and Verb Together Smoother: The following movements are documented in the Human Resources File: terminations, layoffs, transfers in and out, and promotions in, out, and within.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Keep Subject and Verb Together Even better: The Human Resources File documents the following movements: - Terminations - Layoffs and leaves - Transfers in and out - Promotions in, out, and within

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Vary Sentence Length and Structure Keep sentences short when the subject matter is new, complex, or full of numbers. Use long sentences: - To show how ideas are linked to each other - To avoid a series of short, choppy sentences - To reduce repetition Particularly in long sentences, keep subject and verb close together, and group related words. Always edit sentences to tighten and focus.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Vary Sentence Length and Structure Examples: Choppy, Short Sentences There were budget problems in the first quarter. We knew about them at the time. We are now back where we were about a year ago. The summary shows this. Our present costs are in line with last year’s. However, they exceed the budget. The reason they exceed the budget is that our goal for costs was too conservative.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Vary Sentence Length and Structure Examples: Sentence Too Long It should also be noted in the summary that though there were problems in the first quarter, which we realized were occurring, we are now back where we were about a year ago, and that we are not off line in our costs as compared to last year at this time, but we do show a considerable over-budget figure because of an ultraconservative goal on the costs.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Write Positively Example 1 Weak: It is not unlikely that we will be unable to meet customer demand. Better: We may be unable to meet customer demand. Example 2 Weak: Not many people will be able to attend the meeting on Friday Better: Few people can attend the meeting on Friday. Avoid complex negative constructions.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Write Concretely and Visually Avoid empty phrases, abstractions, and euphemisms Example 1 Weak: At this point in time, our sanitation engineer is situated in the vicinity of the central business district. Better: Right now, our garbage collector is near the downtown area. Example 2 Weak: It is obvious that the company experienced dramatic 3 rd quarter losses, but also unequivocal that we will attain a sizable increment in the 4 th quarter. Better: We lost $3.4 million in the 3 rd quarter, but expect certain gains of around $1.5 million in the 4 th quarter.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December How to Craft a Good Sentence: Avoid Long Noun Strings and Jargon Weak: Surplus production energy capacity price fluctuation control policies seem doomed to failure. Better: Policies to control fluctuating energy prices and surplus production will probably fail. Weak: Please be advised that, upon procurement of additional inventory, we will initiate fulfillment of your order. Better: When we get more supplies, we will fill your order.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December Save This Sentence: Greater deregulation and liberalization of the global marketing system and a subsequent lowering of international trade barriers that have barred competition is the goal of conference attendees.

Sentences Professional Writing 13 December Connect These Choppy Sentences: Job placement is difficult at the present time. The economic climate is very bad. Many people have been downsized or temporarily laid off. New entrants into the job market are struggling to get jobs.