Are you a Quote Floater?

If so … then you need to learn to be a Quote Blender! Whenever you are asked to provide “text evidence” in your written responses or essays, avoid quote floats! The following is an example of quote floating: When Isabella asked her father about going to the party, he said she couldn’t go. “No, Isabella! You may not attend the party!” Notice how the quote is separate from the writer’s statement. Try to work on blending or embedding quotes within your commentary.

Blend your text evidence together with your own words! Good Example: When Isabella approached her father about going, he firmly replied: “No, Isabella! You may not attend the party!” Notice that the writer’s statement and the text evidence (direct quotation) are embedded into the same sentence.

Guideline #1 for Embedding Quotations: Always imbed the quotation into your own sentence. Never simply include a full sentence with quotation marks around it in your short answer responses or essays. Bad Example: John is excited. “Deer season is just around the corner!” Good Example: John simply can’t hide his excitement when he proclaims that “Deer season is just around the corner!”

Guideline #2 for Embedding Quotations: Read the sentence out loud. Does it sound smooth, and is it grammatically correct? Bad Example: (It reads awkwardly due to the past tense “was” and should not have an ellipsis.) Gabriel finally arrives and “… there was snow, painfully sharp and crisp, still falling in the night” Good Example: Gabriel finally arrives in spite of the “snow, painfully sharp and crisp, still falling in the night.”

Guideline #3 for Embedding Quotations: Lift only those words and phrases that are important to your explanation and proof. Bad Example: Josh was upset when he saw “The tornado was sweeping across the pasture towards his house. Before he had time to blink, he witnessed his brand new truck being demolished by the ferocious winds.” Good Example: Josh was visibly upset when he “witnessed his brand new truck being demolished by the ferocious winds.”

Guideline #4 for Embedding Quotations: Try to leave out verbs if they are in any other tense than present. If you can’t, then change the verb to the correct grammatical sense and place brackets [ ] around it to show the reader that you have changed something in a quote. Bad Example: Daisy shows her manners when she “laughed again at the feeble joke.” Good Example: Daisy shows her manners when she “[laughs] again at the feeble joke.”

Guideline #5 for Embedding Quotations: If possible identify the speaker of the words you are quoting. Write such statements as Marion says…, the narrator tells the reader… Tell who is actually saying the words (the narrator, or a character) in the story. Bad Example: The girl finds the lost puppy. It says “ I found Rascal three blocks away at a local drugstore.” Good Example: Rachel is thrilled and relieved to know her puppy is alive when “[she finds] Rascal three blocks away at a local drugstore.”

Guideline #6 for Embedding Quotations: To add variety to your sentence structure, use colons to introduce quotes instead of using the usual he said … This example is a standard blended quote and is okay to use: Jane, defiantly standing up to Brandon, said “I can take care of myself.” This example shows a variation of wording that makes the text evidence more appealing: Jane, defiantly standing up to Brandon, declares: “I can take care of myself!”

Practice – Embedding Quotes Read the following passage from “The Most Dangerous Game” The dining room to which Ivan conducted him was in many ways remarkable. There was a medieval magnificence about it; it suggested a baronial hall of feudal times with its oaken panels, its high ceiling, its vast refectory tables where twoscore men could sit down to eat. About the hall were mounted heads of many animals--lions, tigers, elephants, moose, bears; larger or more perfect specimens Rainsford had never seen. At the great table the general was sitting, alone. Answer the following question: From Rainsford’s description of the dining room, what does the reader learn about General Zaroff? Write a one sentence answer using evidence from the text. Note: You will be expected to write more than one sentence on short answer responses. This is merely a practice to help you learn how to imbed quotations.

The dining room to which Ivan conducted him was in many ways remarkable. There was a medieval magnificence about it; it suggested a baronial hall of feudal times with its oaken panels, its high ceiling, its vast refectory tables where twoscore men could sit down to eat. About the hall were mounted heads of many animals--lions, tigers, elephants, moose, bears; larger or more perfect specimens Rainsford had never seen. At the great table the general was sitting, alone. Sample responses: Apparently, General Zarroff is an avid and skillful hunter as much as Rainsford is since “About the hall [are] mounted heads of many animals.” General Zarroff is obviously a very mysterious and eccentric man because the room [is] decorated to display “a medieval magnificence … [suggesting] a baronial hall of feudal times.”