October 25 Do Now- Day 4 Take out your plot map and revise and edit piece Hw- edited and complete piece shared by Thursday MIDNIGHT Study Island due Friday Oct. 28 Blue ribbons to receive full credit Bring Materials for This I Believe

Warm Up: What did Mark Twain mean when he said, “Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”?

What did he mean by this? Always scream when you write? Always scream when you write? Bring an old lady in to scream while you write? Bring an old lady in to scream while you write? Use ONLY dialogue when you write a story? Use ONLY dialogue when you write a story?

Show Don’t Tell When we show a story, we create scenes that draw our readers in so they can experience the story for themselves. This is our goal as writers. When we show a story, we create scenes that draw our readers in so they can experience the story for themselves. This is our goal as writers.

Huh? Write more than one draft. Write more than one draft. Without exception, first drafts are rife with telling. And that makes sense because the first draft is when you’re telling yourself the story Without exception, first drafts are rife with telling. And that makes sense because the first draft is when you’re telling yourself the story

How’s it work? Let’s say your main character, Jenny, and her brother, Luke, are trying to get to the barn to escape a bad storm. In your first draft, you might write: Let’s say your main character, Jenny, and her brother, Luke, are trying to get to the barn to escape a bad storm. In your first draft, you might write: Dark clouds gathered overhead. Jenny and Luke ran as fast as they could toward the safety of the barn. Dark clouds gathered overhead. Jenny and Luke ran as fast as they could toward the safety of the barn. This tells us about the storm and about the kids’ attempt to escape from it. Watch what happens when I punch this up with dialogue, emotion, action, and description: This tells us about the storm and about the kids’ attempt to escape from it. Watch what happens when I punch this up with dialogue, emotion, action, and description: The sky overhead churned with oily clouds. “Come on, Luke,” Jenny tugged on her little brother. “We’ve got to get going.” “But I didn’t catch a fish!” Luke stomped his foot. Jenny didn’t want to frighten him. But those clouds signaled trouble. Big trouble. “I forgot the net,” she lied. She picked up the tackle box. “Race you back to the barn to get it.” “But I didn’t catch a --,” a gust of wind snatched the pole from Luke’s hands. He grabbed for it. “Let it go.” Jenny had to yell to be heard over the roaring gust. “Run!” She grabbed her brother’s hand and they pounded toward the barn. The sky overhead churned with oily clouds. “Come on, Luke,” Jenny tugged on her little brother. “We’ve got to get going.” “But I didn’t catch a fish!” Luke stomped his foot. Jenny didn’t want to frighten him. But those clouds signaled trouble. Big trouble. “I forgot the net,” she lied. She picked up the tackle box. “Race you back to the barn to get it.” “But I didn’t catch a --,” a gust of wind snatched the pole from Luke’s hands. He grabbed for it. “Let it go.” Jenny had to yell to be heard over the roaring gust. “Run!” She grabbed her brother’s hand and they pounded toward the barn.

You try…Add dialogue..add something Joe’s socks smelled. Joe’s socks smelled. Bo was strong. Bo was strong. Martha had a bad hair day. Martha had a bad hair day. James was weird. James was weird. Maurice was nervous. Maurice was nervous.

Directions: Demonstrate your new knowledge about writing by changing your edited draft in the following ways: Directions: Demonstrate your new knowledge about writing by changing your edited draft in the following ways: 1. Locate a “telling area” to work on. 2. Change that par t of your story to: Appeal to the reader’s senses by addressing smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight ( imagery). Include dialogue. Don’t just say the lady screamed… add her actually screaming! Does your dialogue advance the plot? Is it punctuated correctly? Click here Click here to grab a mini lesson on punctuating dialogue. Click here Independent Application

Wrap Up Next class: Edited and complete version shared with Next class: Edited and complete version shared with by midnight, October 27 th. by midnight, October 27 th. Study Island: Four blue ribbons due October 28th Study Island: Four blue ribbons due October 28th