The Christian Family #8, Family Discipline The need of “discipline” in our society is readily apparent to anyone who watches the evening news- examples abound. But what may not be quite as obvious is the fact “out of control” or “undisciplined” adults are home-made. If there is any doubt about this, just go to Walmart or the Dollar Store and watch mothers/dads with their children! A major part of the problem is the lack of understanding regarding what discipline really is, and conversely, isn’t. If we think “discipline” is synonymous with “punishment,” we may indeed be part of the problem. So today, let’s take a look at

The Christian Family: Discipline What then is meant by discipline? Literally, discipline is “the treatment suited to a disciple.” Logically then, the next question is: “What is a disciple?” A disciple is “a learner”- “a taught or trained one.” Hence, it is one who is properly reared/raised to follow and emulate, Mark 2:18; Isa.7:13-16 > 8:16. Though disciple is primarily used in Scripture as a follower, learner, and emulator of God and His Law, such is learned first in the home by learning from, following, and emulating the parents.

The Christian Family: Discipline Thus, discipline is the training process by which one becomes a disciple (learner, follower, emulator). As such, discipline has 3 essential elements: 1.Education- a communicating of that which is right and wrong, and therefore expected. 2.Encouragement- the urging of compliance; the support of that which is taught. 3.Corrective / Punitive- the enforcement of principles; if there are no consequences for disobedience, education and encouragement alone are seldom sufficient, Heb.12:4-13.

The Christian Family: Discipline Within this definition and framework, we must realize that the design of discipline is to produce obedience both in fact and purpose- not just to get compliance, but to train in what is right. Discipline (all three aspects) should therefore be:  With Firmness to make obedience advisable;  With Wisdom to make obedience natural;  With Love to make obedience easier;  With Consistency to make obedience understandable; and  It must begin early to be effective, 2Tim.1:5 > 3:14-15.

The Christian Family: Discipline With these admonitions in mind, let’s look at some Key Elements to Discipline which should be recognized and practiced by parents, and therefore instilled in children: 1.Sense of Responsibility Certainly, children must be allowed to be children, Eccl.11:9. But it is also true, and not mutually exclusive, that children who are never required to be anything more than children usually never grow out of it, Lam.3:27; Prov.29:15; 10:5; 13:18. It is both unwise and unfair to expect children to become responsible adults all of a sudden when we haven’t prepared them for it by first making them responsible children, Luke 16:10.

The Christian Family: Discipline Key Elements to Discipline which should be recognized and practiced by parents, and instilled in children: (cont.) 2.Proper Example (that means you as a parent) should not only be present, but prominent. Why, do you think, is there so much talk these days of “role models” and “mentors” for young folks? Listen closely, please… BECAUSE PARENTS HAVE ABDICATED THE ROLE OF BEING A MODEL FOR THEIR CHILDREN TO EMULATE! If professional athletes, wrestlers, actors, comic book / cartoon characters, video game heroes / heroines, and celebrities are being “role models” for your children, exactly what are you thinking, and/or doing? Does Ezk.16:44 scare you? It shouldn’t, and if it does, something is wrong- for mothers or fathers, Deut.6:1-6.

The Christian Family: Discipline Key Elements to Discipline which should be recognized and practiced by parents, and instilled in children: (cont.) 3.Precepts should be evident. This means that, to the ability that their development allows, parents should explain why children should do or not do this or that. This is the encouragement aspect of discipline. Obviously, such requires you as a parent to demonstrate God’s will in your life to them on a day-to-day basis, Deut.6:6-9. It also means that the precepts taught should be shown to be worthy of respect and obedience, Deut.6: In other words, have a set of core values that are constantly reinforced to the child by explaining why they are core values- that they are the essence of what God wants us all to be; such as honesty, respect, fairness, kindness, humility, consideration, etc.

The Christian Family: Discipline Conclusions: 1.“Discipline” is not a dirty word, and neither does it strictly refer to punishment. It is the training necessarily required of the parent toward their children for their ultimate good; that they might not only be happy and responsible children, but that they might become happy and responsible adults who are pleasing to God! 2.Discipline, therefore, must include Education in what is right and wrong; Encouragement to do what is right through explaining why it is right; and Punitive Measures to enforce what is taught and encouraged. 3.Disciple should involve several key elements: Sense of Responsibility; Prominent Parental Example; and Precepts Which are Made Evident. In our next lesson of this series, we’ll look more specifically at “Corrective Discipline.”