 Sometimes writing can sound like this to a reader: “Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.” This might be because sentences are choppy and boring. They each begin the same way and have the same structure.  Let’s learn some tips to liven up our writing!

 Examples:  Notice how the second example varies the way that each sentence begins instead of starting every sentence with “An ant.” This keeps the reader more interested. Same beginningsDifferent beginnings An ant has no nose. An ant can still smell, though. An ant uses its antennae to smell. An ant has no nose. It can still smell, though. Interestingly, ants use their antennae to smell.

 Examples:  Notice how the second example combines the first two sentences so that the writing doesn’t sound choppy. All the Same LengthDifferent Lengths Everyone walks around the chairs. The music suddenly stops. Everyone tries to get a seat. Everyone walks around the chairs until the music suddenly stops. Then everyone tries to get a seat.

My horse is white. He has one blue eye and one brown eye. He is friendly. He likes when we brush him. He snuggles his nose into us when we brush him. He is fun to ride. He is my horse and I am glad.  What do you notice about the sentences?  Is there variety?  Do they each start differently?  Are the sentences different lengths?  How would you revise this paragraph ?

My friendly horse, Flash, has one blue eye and one brown eye. This majestic white creature loves when I brush his soft coat. I can tell because he snuggles his nose into me and whinnies. He also loves to race through the corn fields behind our barn. Whoosh! Flash gallops through the stalks like a Nascar racer flying around a speedway. I clutch his mane and shriek with laughter. He is a wonderful horse!  Does this version sound more interesting? Why? Which sentences were changed to add more variety?

 What is this writing about?  Did the writer write with variety? › Does each sentence start differently? › Are the sentences different lengths?  Are there any sentences that you would change to add more variety? How would you revise them?