Journal Entry: Describe this little girl to me. What is her life like? Personality? Where does she live? What time period? Is she rich, poor, middle class, etc.?

Now, make a new description using the rest of the picture.

Questions... Which was easier, the first or the second task? Why? How did your second description differ from your first? Which one do you like better?

Exploding a Moment Writing a Scene in Slow-Motion: Snapshots and Thoughtshots

Explosion!! Techniques Snapshot Tips: – two or more of the five senses: hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling, seeing – showing, not telling! – set the scene in slowwwwww mottttiooooon. Thoughtshot Tips: -Flashback - Flash-Ahead - Internal Dialogue

Snapshots Snapshots ask writers to put on their writing binoculars and help readers create pictures in their minds. Writers can create snapshots by describing every part of a scene in great detail. Be creative! Be specific! Some of the best snapshots are those that use at least two of the five senses. What does this scene smell like? What does it look and feel like? Susan’s

Snapshots Show, don’t tell. The little girl looked so tired. She clearly needed a nap. Her sleepy brown eyes hardened into red-rimmed slits. She cocked her plastic Viking helmet aggressively, the horns sticking out only a little more than her curls. One fist clutched a decapitated lollipop, the other a cardboard sword. She leveled the point at my chest. “You mean dragon!” she growled. “You’ll never make me nap!”

The Exploded Snapshot: Example Example: – “Brandon had red hair. He loved going to the county fair even though he was too short for the scary rides.” Brandon’s fiery afro made him seem taller than he actually was, but in truth the top of his head was still just shy of the four-foot mark. He inhaled popcorn-y air and stomped his foot against the hard dirt when the ride operator shook his head and motioned to the next child in line. From the sprawling line behind him, Brandon could hear people murmuring over the sound of the carousel music and he spun to scowl at them. Most of them looked to be about his age, mouths full of cotton candy and pockets full of chewing gum, but somehow they were just tall enough. Brandon hung his head low as they filed past him.

Thoughtshots Tell, don’t show. Share your inner thoughts and feelings as a writer. Put yourself in the scene. – Flashback: a character thinks back about something that has already happened. (Marty remembered going back to the future…)

Thoughtshots Flash-Ahead: a character thinks about something that is going to happen or might happen in the future. Writers often use flash- aheads when a character is trying to make a decision. (The Doctor thought about visiting the new planet. What would it be like? Would he have friends? Would the aliens serenade him?)

Thoughtshots Internal Dialogue—a character thinks about what is happening at that moment. (Danique thought about what the teacher had just said. His mind raced, but he didn’t know the answer. Why did she call on him? …)

Back to Brandon… So, to continue our earlier tale… – “Brandon was upset because he could not go on the Aerial Gravitron, until he saw some clowns walk by on stilts and got a good idea.” – How might a thoughtshot improve this sentence? How might a snapshot?

Brandon, Brandon. Oh, Silly Brandon. “Brandon was walking away with heavy feet, the unconquered Aerial Gravitron looming behind him. He remembered how his brother had boasted about riding that spinning zoom monster last summer; ever since then he had wanted to do the same. He imagined what it would be like to be spinning at supersonic speeds dozens of feet above the ground and grumbled to himself, “What difference does a centimeter really make?” Vibrant colors snagged his gaze and he tilted his head toward the sound of obnoxious honking. Painted clowns loomed on stilts. Stilts? Stilts! Brandon grinned at his own genius.

Finish the Story You will each be given a bland sentence that needs exploding. Find the other people in the room who have the same sentence that you do and work together to improve the sentence, utilizing thoughtshot and snapshot techniques. When you’re happy with your sentence, a representative from your group will type it into this presentation. Let’s make this story sing!

Group 1 “Brandon did not have clown stilts, so he would have to make his own using nearby carnival materials.”

Explosion! Group 1 Types Here.

Group 2 “Brandon’s new stilts were very wobbly, but when he wore them he stood a lot taller.”

Explosion! Group 2 Types Here.

Group 3 “But the carnival worker at the Aerial Gravitron was not fooled by Brandon’s new stilts. He sent Brandon away again.”

Explosion! Group 3 Types Here.

Group 4 “Brandon fell off his stilts, but some of the clowns helped him up. They were a lot of fun and Brandon enjoyed his day at the fair after all.”

Explosion! Group 4 Types Here.