Adding Dialogue

 Bob: hey  Jane: hey  Bob: what’s up  Jane: not much, you?  Bob: not much  Jane: Well we better get going  Bob: okay Not-so-good

 “Oh Bob, there you are! I was looking for you.”  “Oh were you? I was just outside.”  “No wonder you didn’t hear me calling. Now listen, we have to get going immediately, otherwise we’re going to be late again.”  “I don’t care if we’re late.”  “Oh, silly you! Of course we don’t want to be late. Remember the last time we were late and all the fuss everybody made?”  “They were all over-reacting if you ask me.”  “Well, yes. I grant you that. But still, we need to be on time.” Better!

 Definition: Dialogue is a conversation between two or more characters. The exact words they speak are put between quotation marks. What is dialogue?

 1. Reveal characters’ relationships to one another.  2. Move the story forward.  3. Increase the tension. In your writing, dialogue should do one, if not all, of the following:

 "What's the capital of Spain?" Jerry asked, pausing over his crossword puzzle. Susan looked up from her book and rolled her eyes. "Madrid, duh." "Why are you so sarcastic all the time?” Jerry slammed his pencil on table. He looked like he was going to cry. “I don't think I can take much more of this." Dialogue that shows the relationship between characters:

 Jerry and Susan have a tense and unhappy relationship. It's clear from this exchange that they've probably known each other for a while, and that Susan treats Jerry with disrespect. Jerry’s reaction to Susan in this exchange shows that he has been putting up with Susan’s behavior for too long and is at his wit’s end. We've learned about how these two characters interact—and a lot about who they are— all through a few simple lines of dialogue.

The phone rang, and Jerry picked it up. "Hello?" There was a moment of silence on the other end. "Is this Jerry Simmons?" a male voice asked. "Yeah. Who is this?" The man paused. Jerry could hear him take a deep breath. "Jerry, my name is Dave. I’m your brother.” "If this is a prank, it isn’t funny,” Jerry said. “My family died a long time ago." “Not your whole family,” Dave said. Jerry hung up the phone. Dialogue that moves the story forward:

 Right away, we want to know who this Dave guy is, if he's telling the truth, and why Jerry hung up on him. Basically, we want to know what will happen next. In fact, this is a great inciting incident. The discovery of a long-lost sibling is certain to move your story forward in interesting ways.

"Dave!" Jerry shouted. "We've got to get away from here! The building's gonna blow!" "We've got to go back!" Dave screamed. "Why?" Dave pointed at the roof. "Susan's still up there!" Dialogue that increases the tension:

 Talk about tense. Are Dave and Jerry going to save Susan? It's a matter of life and death here, and this little exchange of dialogue has us wanting more.

 It is also very important it is to describe what characters are doing while they speak

 “Hey, dude. How are you?” Sam asked nervously, getting up from the bleachers. She had waited an hour for Aaron to walk by. He was with a few friends, but she didn’t mind. She just needed to talk.  “I’m really good. Thanks for asking. And you?” His tone was cold and overly formal. Was this the same guy from last night? His body was stiff and he didn’t seem to be slowing down.  “Good, thanks,” she answered as he passed by, her voice trailing off. Her head turned to watch him go. She felt tears coming to her eyes, so she quickly grabbed her bag and ran the other way, missing Aaron’s glance back at her.

 “Hey, dude. How are you?” Jason said to Emil, like he did every morning.  “I’m really good. Thanks for asking. And you?” Emil replied, as always.  “Good, thanks,” Jason said, rounding out their obligatory morning greeting. Both men still appreciated their cordial working relationship, even though both were by now sick of jumping into a tank full of fish-meat every day to sift out tiny bones.

 A speaker's exact words (also called dialogue) must be surrounded by quotation marks.  Example: "I love flowers," said Jessie. Rules for Dialogue/Quotation Marks

 Commas and periods are always placed inside the closing quotation marks.  Example: "I like chips," said Milly.  Jason replied, "I love pretzels." Rules for Dialogue/Quotation Marks

 If dialogue is split or separated, use quotation marks to surround each part that is spoken.  Example: "Yes," said Bobby, "I love cheese pizza." Rules for Dialogue/Quotation Marks