C41 WATCHING OUR LANGUAGE: WORD CHOICES DURING COACHING CONVERSATIONS. Learning Forward Annual Conference Connect—Engage--Learn December 2014

NORMS Engage fully with your team and take responsibility for the learning of everyone. Practice the activity as designed first. Share your ideas without dominating. Listen opening to other points of view. Have fun!

INTRODUCTIONS Table-top conversation  Introduce yourself and tell your table mates a little about you.  Then discuss  Why did you chose this session? What is one thing you really hope to learn?  What new skill do you want to develop that you believe would make a significant impact on those you coach?

OUTCOMES Develop a deeper understanding of the power of language and its value in coaching. Use language effectively to coach others. Commit to continue your learning journey about the power of language. It’s not about these two hours!

AGENDA Build background knowledge,  Impact of coaching  Coaching defined Understand the language of coaching, Develop skills in using precise language, listening, observing, and questioning, and Use the coaching cycle effectively.

COACHING DEFINED “…an ongoing relationship which focuses on coachees taking action toward the realization of their visions, goals or desires. Coaching uses a process of inquiry and personal discovery to build the coachee’s level of awareness and responsibility and provides the coachee with structure, support and feedback. The coaching process helps coachees both define and achieve professional and personal goals faster and with more ease than would be possible otherwise.” -Karla Reiss (in Knight, 2009)

THE POWER OF COACHING! ComponentsKnowledge (thorough) Skill (strong) Transfer (executive implementation) Study of Theory 10%5%0% Demonstrations 30%20%0% Practice 60% 5% Peer Coaching 95% Joyce & Showers, 2002

ASSUMPTIONS Teachers and teacher leaders need the skills and confidence to solve their own problems. Coachees both want and are able to effectively solve their own problems—A coaches job is to be a great listener, observer, questioner. Language is generative. Coaches who deeply understanding the cycle of continuous improvement are effective in guiding coachees to make shifts in their attitudes, practices, skills, and behaviors.

ACTIVITY At your table, determine a facilitator who will guide the conversation around the assumptions. You will have 8 minutes. Using the following template host a conversation about Assumption 1 & 2: Assumption 1:Big IdeasImplications for my practice as a coach Assumption 2:

LANGUAGE IS GENERATIVE—THE POWER OF WORD CHOICES Language itself creates new actions. Our language (inner voice) determines our next steps. We can talk ourselves into angering and become emotionally hijacked or talk ourselves into happiness and bliss—we can commit to achieving a goal—or just wish we would!

ATTRIBUTES OF GENERATIVE LANGUAGE IN COACHING Being in the practice of precision in our observations and the language we choose to use to describe it, Being focused, clear, and strategic in our questioning to encourage coachees to be reflective about their own practice, Ensuring timeliness in our conversations, and Engaging in a cycle of coaching that leads to commitment to learn and new skills, attitudes, and behaviors.

BASIC COACHING SKILLS Listening Observing Questioning Exploring Planning Committing

Coaching is about helping others “see” in new ways. Through our observations, our word choices, our questions, we help coachees develop a wider view. The wider the view the greater the choices! CHALLENGE 1: THE OBSERVER WE ARE—READ PAGES 3-5 ON OBSERVING AND LISTENING.

Body, language and emotion are biologically coherence—they work as a tapestry— interdependent system. People read our bodies before they hear our words. CHALLENGE 2: COHERENCE OF BODY, LANGUAGE, EMOTION

COHERENCE BodyLanguageEmotions

KEYS TO EFFECTIVE USE OF LANGUAGE IN COACHING (PAGES 2 & 3, HANDOUT) Key 1:The better observer we are the better we use language. Key 2:Making discerning observations of the body and the emotion that is generating the language of the coachee is the responsibility of the highly skilled coach. Key 3:Using precise language to reflect our observations leads to strategic questioning. Key 4: Engaging in the coaching cycle leads to commitments and promises essential for changing practice.

WORD CHOICES: BEING PRECISE IN OUR OBSERVATION WORDS AND OUR QUESTIONS In observing the lesson today, I noticed that all students at every table were asking thoughtful questions of each other and you about what they are learning. (open ended question: What different approaches to learning led to this significant shift in your students work since last I observed?) Your eagerness to establish inquiry as the tone in the classroom generated that same enthusiasm in your students. (What might you be learning that you can...?) The step by step procedure you used clearly assisted at least 2/3’s of the class in effectively following you and engaging in the work. (In what other ways might you.. ?)

AVOID  I really liked the lesson today! (The person is not trying to please you!)  If I were you, I would have.. (What you would do does not matter!)  You did not follow the process with fidelity! (What I precisely did or did not do is not clear.)

LET PRACTICE 1.Find a triad. 2.Each of you identifies a role: speaker and 2 listeners. 3.Use the handout p. 8, Body, Language, Emotion, to capture your observations. 4.The listeners may not speak at all—only make observational note, 5.Use as precise a language as you can to describe what you are hearing and observing. 6.We will reflect on the process and work toward greater precision. 7.You have 8 minutes.

THE OBSERVER WE ARE LanguageBodyEmotion Observations— watch your language!

EXAMINE AND REFLECT ON YOUR NOTES All 3 of you reflect on the precision in the descriptive language. In what ways could you be more precise in your choices of words? Work as a team and upgrade the word choices.

STRATEGIC QUESTIONS—READ QUESTIONING AND EXPLORING PAGES 5-7. Strategic questions arise from strategic listening and observing. Open ended questions that encourage others to see in new ways or explore different options lead to stronger solutions and greater commitment.

LET’S PRACTICE QUESTIONING AND EXPLORING Targeted strategic questions come from listening to the whole person. Let’s do the same triad again. This time one will be the speaker, one the listener—questioner, and one the observer. Use the organizer to make notes. Watch your language—chose your words carefully when you question? Reflect on the experience— Observer--what questions were precise, strategic, targeted and led to shifts in the thinking of the speaker? Speaker—what questions were precise, strategic for you and caused you to shift you thinking?

ACTIVITY Reflect on the questions you asked and the precision and clarity of your work. Make revisions as you discuss this with your partners.

PLANNING AND COMMITTING—READ LAST SECTION, PAGE 7 PLANNING AND COMMITTING  Establishing goals and objectives,  Developing an action plan,  Practicing for results,  Making a commitment, and  Reflecting and celebrating progress.

Setting the stage for the learning, Reflecting on progress, Establishing a goal and agenda for the coaching session, Doing the work--Practicing, practicing, practicing, Planning implementation, Getting commitment, and Celebrating the learning. THE COACHING CYCLE

THE ACTIVITY In your triads, determine who wants to coach, who wants to be coached, and who wants to observe. Use the coaching cycle handout to guide your conversation, page 15. Reflect on your practice and the value of the coaching cycle.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EFFECTIVE COACH Trustworthy Honest Sincere Competent Reliable Other Centered

Learning does not mean acquiring more information, but expanding the ability to produce the results we truly want in life. It is lifelong generative learning. And learning organizations are not possible unless they have people at every level who practice. Senge

REFLECTIONS What one thing are you taking away from this session that will strengthen your use of words in coaching session? What one thing are you going to explore more deeply that will strengthen your coaching? What commitments are you making to yourself right now that will make a significant difference in your coaching?

CONTACT INFO Kay Psencik Mobile: