Marriage Survey Socratic Seminar 2011 Honors English 9 Periods 5 & 7 Mr. Bernstein

Question #1: At what age should you or your student marry? Students: 25 years old Parents: 28 years old Interesting remarks included: “around 26 because I want to go to college and have fun for a while” “at least 21 so the party could be fun” “establish a career, get a sense of yourself, and experience life as an individual before marriage Men should not attempt marriage until they are 30; before then they’re still so immature “probably 30 because we’re pushing for a masters degree and maybe a doctorate” “never … marriage only creates problems”

Question #2: Should an age difference prevent you from dating a potential mate? Why or why not? If you answered yes, what is the maximum age acceptable age difference? Students: 63% YES “No because love is love” “No as long as you marry for love” “Yes because marrying someone too much older than you is weird and disgusting” Parents: 52% YES As a young adult, age matters, but as a person gets older, age matters less and less “4-5 years age difference is acceptable. More than 5 years age difference can lead to vastly different interests and priorities in life.”

Question #3: Does it matter which gender is the older one of the couple? Why or why not? If you answered yes, should the male or the female be older? Students: 80% of students said NO Parents: 75% of parents said NO Interesting remarks included: 100% of those who responded yes, thought the male should be older. “it would be awkward if the girl was older” “no, age is not as important as maturity” “yes it matters. The male should be older because men tend to be less mature than women at the same age.”

Question #4: How long do you think you should date or know someone before you marry? Why? Students: about 3 years is acceptable Parents: about 2 years is acceptable Answers from everyone varied from 1 month up to 5 years. Interesting remarks included: 15% of both students and parents responded that it depends on the situation “a year at least because people need to get to know each other, unlike Romeo and Juliet” “my past experiences say that 5 years is the make it or break it point in a relationship” “we married after 3 months and we’re still together 17 years later”

Question #5: Should a couple live together prior to marriage? Why? Students: 64% said YES Parents: 43% said YES Interesting remarks included: “Yes, you need to know how someone lives and their personal habits.” “Yes, you don’t know much about someone until you share a bathroom sink with them.” “No, it’s untraditional and against our religion.” “No, getting that first place after getting married is part of the excitement.”

Question #6: Should a couple finish school before they marry? Why or why not? Students: 90% said YES Parents: 96% said YES Interesting remarks included: “Yes, education comes first” “Yes, how can you support a family if you’re still in school.” “No, just don’t have kids until you have a job.”

Question #7: Should the couple have parental approval before they marry? Why or why not? Students: 72% said YES Parents: 64% said YES Interesting remarks included: “Yes, it’s a respect thing.” “No, it’s our choice” “Yes, it can lead to problems down the road” “Hopefully we can accept the person” “Yes if your parents are reasonable. No if your parents are unreasonable”

Question #8: For girls... should you take your husband’s last name? Why or why not? For boys... should your wife take your last name? Why or why not? Students: 59% said NO Parents: 38% said YES Interesting remarks included: Exactly 50% of all people interviewed said it was the girl’s choice “I like my last name” “You should at least hyphenate the name – it shows you’re a family – one family” “Traditionally, you should take the last name, but what if you don’t like the last name like Julia Goolia?” “It’s up to the girl”

Question #9: Should you have a job prior to marriage? Why or why not? Students: 98% said YES Parents: 97% said YES Interesting remarks included: “One of the two should have a job” “As long as we have love, we’ll be okay” “Absolutely. Don’t ask us for money”

Question #10: In the dating process, how long should you wait to date someone else after you have broken up with someone? Explain. Interesting results included: 77% of all people interviewed said it depends on the situation “It doesn’t matter as long as you heal” “Hopefully longer than 2 hours” “Sometimes it can be quick because you’re ready to move on, but if you got dumped unexpectedly, it’s a little harder to move on right away”