Hints and Reminders for Comparison Thesis Statements

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis begins – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations…  Prompt – Compare The American, French, and Russian revolutions.  Thesis begins – The American, French, and Russian revolutions…

 Prompt – Compare the effects of Imperialism on Japan and China in the late 1800s.  Thesis begins – The effects of Imperialism on Japan and China in the late 1800s…

 Prompt – Compare the Dallas Cowboys to one of the following teams: Washington Redskins, New York Giants, or Philadelphia Eagles.  Thesis begins – The Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins…  OR  The Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants…  OR  The Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Eagles…

 I think (or I believe)…  There are many similarities and differences between…  LEAVE PHRASES SUCH AS THESE OUT OF YOUR THESIS!!

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was similar because both were developed on rivers. Egypt was located on the Nile and Sumer was between the Tigris and Euphrates. They are also similar because fertile land led to the development of agriculture in both societies. Sumer was located in the Fertile Crescent and the Nile regularly deposited silt, fertilizing Egyptian farmland…

 Better Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was similar because both were developed on rivers and fertile farmland led to the development of agriculture in both societies…  Save evidence for body paragraphs.  Remember, you can’t get credit anywhere else for information in your thesis!

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations differed in that they had different religions and governments. Similarities included rivers and social structure.

 Better Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations differed in that Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and the Nile’s floods were more beneficial. Similarities included fertile farmland and climate.

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis – The role of geography in Egypt and Sumer was alike because both were located on a river and their rivers flooded. They were different because the Egyptians could predict the flooding unlike the Sumerians, and the floods in Sumer were more destructive.  Save the red for evidence in your body paragraph about rivers.

 Better Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was alike because they both had fertile farmland and similar climates. They were different because Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and the Nile’s floods were more beneficial.

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was different because Egypt had more geographic barriers, and Sumer was in the Fertile Crescent. Another difference was Egypt had many natural resources, and Sumer’s floods were destructive…

 Better Thesis -- The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was different because Egypt had more geographic barriers and many natural resources…  OR  The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was different because Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and Sumer’s floods were more destructive…

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was alike because they both had fertile farmland and similar climates. Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and the Nile’s floods were more beneficial.

 Better Thesis – The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was alike because they both had fertile farmland and similar climates. They were different because Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and the Nile’s floods were more beneficial.

 Prompt – Compare the role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations.  Thesis -- The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was alike because they both had fertile farmland. Another similarity was they had similar climates. They were different because Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer. They were also different because the Nile’s floods were more beneficial.

 Better Thesis -- The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was alike because they both had fertile farmland and similar climates. They were different because Egypt had more geographic barriers than Sumer, and the Nile’s floods were more beneficial.

 Ask yourself, is what I’m writing about still happening?  If yes, use present tense (is, are, have). ◦ The Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants are different because…  If no, use past tense (was, were, had). ◦ The role of geography in Egyptian and Sumerian civilizations was different because…  Keep your tense consistent throughout your essay.

 “In that” means something different than “in which” or “in where.” ◦ They are similar in where both have rivers.  Are we discussing the location of the rivers? ◦ They are similar in which both have rivers.  What does this even mean? ◦ They are similar in that both have rivers.  This is a comparison!!  If this confuses you, use because instead. ◦ They are similar because both have rivers.

 This is formal writing. That means there are certain words/phrases you cannot use. ◦ No contractions.  Do not write, “The Sumerians didn’t have as many natural resources.”  Write, “The Sumerians did not have as many natural resources.” ◦ No slang.  Do not write, “In the Punic Wars, Rome spanked Carthage.”  Write, “In the Punic Wars, Rome defeated Carthage completely.” ◦ No “a lot.”  Use many, much, or another synonym.

 Any words you are copying from the prompt or a document should be spelled correctly.  Make sure all sentences begin with a capital letter and end with a period.

 The grader makes an immediate judgment about your essay based on your writing.  If you want the grader to start reading with positive feelings about your essay, it needs to be easy to read.  Whether the grader intends it or not, this can affect your score.  Five AP graders at my conference confirmed this.