PREPOSITION CHECK Circle the preposition and underline the preposition phrase.

AFTER THE RAIN OUR GRASS GLISTENING.

SHE LET THE CAT OUT AND IT FLEW DOWN THE STAIRS.

THE WATERFALLS ARE BEYOND THE TREES, ACROSS THE STREET.

SOMEONE IN THE BACK ROW COUGHED LOUDLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE.

MY GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE ON THE HILL BEYOND TOWN HAS GREEN SHUTTERS.

DURING THE BAK SALE, I PICKED TEN GREAT BOOKS AND LEFT WITH IN MY BAG.

When the first word in a pair has roughly the same meaning as the second, choose one. Common examples of redundant pairs include: full and complete, each and every, hopes and dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever. Example: For each and every book you purchase, you will receive a free bookmark. Revision: ELIMINATE REDUNDANT PAIRS

Often we use qualifiers that really aren't necessary to express our meaning (such as "really" in this sentence). By deleting unnecessary qualifiers, you can often eliminate one or two words per sentence. Tweaks like this may not seem like much, but they can add up. Common qualifiers include: actually, really, basically, probably, very, definitely, somewhat, kind of, extremely, practically. Example: Because a great many of the words in this sentence are basically unnecessary, it would really be a very good idea to edit somewhat for conciseness. Revision: DELETE UNNECESSARY QUALIFIERS

Overuse of prepositional phrases (which begin with words like "in," "for," "at," "on," "through," and "over") can make a sentence clunky and unclear. To locate this problem, circle the prepositions in your draft and see whether you can eliminate any prepositional phrases without losing your meaning. Sometimes the easiest way to revise a wordy sentence is to ask yourself "What do I really mean here?" and then write a new sentence; this approach can be more efficient than just tinkering with your existing sentence. Example: The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in the Final Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some players were frequently unable to rebound the ball Revision: REDUCE PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES

Sometimes the meaning of a word or phrase implies its modifier, making the modifier unnecessary. Example: Do not try to anticipate in advance those events that will completely revolutionize society. In this example, "anticipate" already implies that something is in advance, and "revolutionize" already implies that something will be completely changed. Revision: DELETE UNNECESSARY MODIFIERS

Many commonly-used phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases often crop up in writing that requires a formal tone, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning. Common phrases that can be replaced with single words include: The reason for, due to the fact that, in light of the fact that, given the fact that, and considering the fact that can be replaced with because, since, or why. In the event that and under circumstances in which can be replaced with if. It is necessary that and cannot be avoided can be replaced with must or should. For the purpose of can often be replaced with an infinitive verb (the "to ____" form of the verb). Example: In the event that going out for the purpose of eating with them cannot be avoided, it is necessary that we first go to the ATM, in light of the face that I am out of cash. Revision: REPLACE A PHRASE WITH A WORD

Expressing ideas in negative form means you must use an extra word; it also makes readers work harder to figure out your meaning. Example: If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources. Revision: CHANGE NEGATIVES TO AFFIRMATIVES

In an active sentence, the subject (the person or thing doing the action) comes first. To spot the passive voice, look at the main verb of each sentence-if there's a form of "be" (am, is, are, was, were) and a past tense verb (many end with -ed), the sentence may be passive. But writing in the passive voice often leads to using more words than necessary. Example: The 1780 constitution of Massachusetts was written by John Adams. Revision: Example: The letter was taken to the mailbox by Sally. Revision: PASSIVE VOICE

1. To ensure that the new system being developed, or the existing system being modified, will provide users with the timely, accurate, and complete information they require to properly perform their functions and responsibilities, it is necessary to assure that the new or modified system will cover all necessary aspects of the present automated or manual systems being replaced. To gain this assurance, it is essential that documentation be made of the entities of the present systems which will be modified or eliminated. REVISE THE FOLLOWING TO MAKE IT MORE CONCISE:

To ensure that users have all the information needed to do their jobs, the new system must preserve the present system's critical functions. Therefore, all modifications to the present system must be documented. #2

Make sure to document all changes to the current system, so that all original functions can be recovered if necessary. #3

Make sure to document all changes to the current system, so any mistakes can be corrected #4

For all intents and purposes, the reason Mr. Henderson arrived late for work was due to the fact that he stopped at very many traffic lights that were red in color. 31 words RE-WRITE IN 13 WORDS

Mr. Henderson arrived late for work because he stopped at many red lights. 13 words WITH GREATER CLARITY

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways dash quickly as to whether blue in color free gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly as to whether blue in color free gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether blue in color free gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color free gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift gift advance notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift gift advance notice notice he is a man who is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift gift advance notice notice he is a man who is he is appear to be completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift gift advance notice notice he is a man who is he is appear to be appear completely finished

ELIMINATE REDUNDANCY Wordy Usually Better each separate incident each incident many different ways many ways dash quickly dash as to whether whether blue in color blue free gift gift advance notice notice he is a man who is he is appear to be appear completely finished finished

Generally tend toreallyapparently in my opinionvery basicallyI think that Various essentially in some ways virtuallyI believe or I feel for all intents and purposes Especially watch out for the following: - there is... That - there were ….whoit is... that Original: There are many students who like reading. Revision: Original: It is the desk that is uncomfortable. Revision: DELETE EMPTY WORDS AND PHRASES

Generally tend toreallyapparently in my opinionvery basicallyI think that Various essentially in some ways virtuallyI believe or I feel for all intents and purposes Especially watch out for the following: - there is... That - there were ….whoit is... that Original: There are many students who like reading. Revision: Many students like reading. Original: It is the desk that is uncomfortable. Revision: DELETE EMPTY WORDS AND PHRASES

Generally tend toreallyapparently in my opinionvery basicallyI think that Various essentially in some ways virtuallyI believe or I feel for all intents and purposes Especially watch out for the following: - there is... That - there were ….whoit is... that Original: There are many students who like reading. Revision: Many students like reading. Original: It is the desk that is uncomfortable. Revision: The desk is uncomfortable. DELETE EMPTY WORDS AND PHRASES

AVOID EXPRESSIONS THAT CAN BE MORE CLEARLY SAID IN ANOTHER WAY

The passive voice often uses more words than the active voice. AVOID USING THE PASSIVE VOICE

For example, replace verbs that have prepositions with other verbs that do not: never write "find out" when you can write "discover." OMIT PREPOSITIONS THAT ARE OVERUSED

Original: It is not the case that a lot happened. Revision: Little happened. AVOID UNNECESSARY NEGATION

Example: If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources. Revision:

Example: If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources. Revision: Applicants with more than five years of experience can bypass human resources and call for an interview.