The Divine Secrets of the Sorority Sisterhood

What picture is painted of what sorority life? Constant community A place to belong and be known Friendships

Def: Sister A woman related to another by a common tie or interest. One having similar characteristics to another.

Def: Family A group of individuals living in one house or under one roof. A group of people united by certain convictions or common affiliations.

Our heart's deepest longings are to find purpose, rest, comfort, belonging, joy, and hope in relationships...It is woven into the fabric of who we are as women...it is a longing that whispers: "ask me, notice me, hear me, know me, understand me, believe me, enjoy me, stay with me, care for me...and receive from me as well" WE LONG TO MEET OTHERS NEEDS AND TO GET OUR OWN NEEDS MET AS WELL. The possibility of loving and being loved ignites a spark in every woman's heart.

What makes ideal picture portrayed difficult Many different kinds of people –Social –Cultural –Educational –Spiritual Different roles you play in each other’s lives We are imperfect

Three Dividers Self sufficiency or independence –Are you proud to describe yourself as independent? –Do you consider it a weakness to need other people?

Three Dividers Self sufficiency or independence Gossip –Defined: one who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about another –Rumor or report of an intimate nature –Chatty talk

Three Dividers Self sufficiency or independence Gossip Comparison –Root of all inferiority –Robs us of authentic relationships –Distorts our longing to belong into a competition in which we believe that whoever has the most and the best wins.

St. Godric (in Allure of Hope) “What is friendship, when all’s said and done, but the giving and taking of wounds”

"My father's absence did affect my relationships-- particularly my friendships with girls. For most of my life, I didn't have any close female friends. I've been nice to girls, I've worked with girls, I know plenty of girls, but for a huge block of time in my life, all of my friends were guys. Lately, I've started to realize that maybe the reason I never had girlfriends growing up is that I had a distorted view of what role they were supposed to play in my life...[in light of my experiences] they either stole your boyfriend or took your dad away...(then Jennifer met a best girlfriend Jenny who changed her view of friendships with girls)...

…it took me a while to realize that it really way OK, that women could enhance and support each other rather than get in each other's way with cattiness and competitiveness--the kinds of behavior I'd sometimes encountered...Meeting Jenny marked a huge turning point in my life. Now I have enormous trust in the fact that I can be friends with women. I've learned that life without female friendships is not as special as it can be with that closeness....With Jenny, I'm the purest form of me.“ - Jennifer Love Hewitt (star of "Party of Five" and movie star) Article: "How I got over seeing girls as the enemy" Printed in Glamour, July 2004

Think of 2 or 3 people in your life… Ask yourself: Do you walk away feeling better or worse about yourself? Energized or drained? Encouraged or torn down? Are you a better person for having spent time with them? Do you walk away feeling barren or empty?

Do you want to be described as: Life giver Barren – sucking life out of people

4 Unifiers Communicate Encourage Don’t be stupid! Grace and forgiveness

1.Do you and your best friends mutually challenge each other and breathe life into each other? 2.Do you try to encourage your friends or do you compete with them? 3.How do you talk about others in the sorority? 4.Are you willing to see differences and try to understand or value them?

What is sisterhood?

When it is all said and done, do you want to be known as a unifier or divider?