C HRISTIAN R ELATIONSHIPS Love

L OVE COMES IN MANY FORMS, BUT CAN BE DEFINED GENERALLY AS SEEKING AND THEN FOSTERING THE GOOD OF OTHERS IN THE CONTEXT OF THEIR CONCRETE SITUATIONS. F OR C HRISTIANS, THE CHOICE TO LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF OUR LIFE. W ITHOUT LOVE, SAYS S T. P AUL, WE ARE NOTHING.

L ETTER OF P AUL TO THE C ORINTHIANS 13:4-8 L OVE IS PATIENT ; LOVE IS KIND ; LOVE IS NOT ENVIOUS OR BOASTFUL OR ARROGANT OR RUDE. I T DOES NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY ; IT IS NOT IRRITABLE OR RESENTFUL ; IT DOES NOT REJOICE IN WRONG DOING, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH. I T BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS.

T HE L AW OF L OVE Jesus gave us this blunt answer about which was the most important commandment: “The first is … ‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no the commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31) The ultimate focus of Christianity is love. Love is at the heart of Christ’s mission and is the only real measure of following him.

T HE L AW OF L OVE CONTINUED … We are compelled by nature to love; to reach out to other people. We desire intimacy and feel incomplete, limited or threatened without love. Sometimes we try to replace love with activity, superficial socializing, group happenings, work or through the effects of drugs or alcohol until we finally discover that caring relationships are the only way to fill the emptiness inside us.

T YPES OF L OVE Self-Love begins with self-acceptance as we value the qualities we possess and of who we are. just as God loves us unconditionally we must try to see ourselves as God does even when we make a mess of things sometimes our culture sends us false messages or standards that we are measured against – appearance, beauty, money, possessions, clothes, status, power over others which are all illusions to make us feel better.

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Friendship is characterized by mutual caring between two people usually involving loyalty, support and a shared view of the world.

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Erotic Love the desire two people have for union of their bodies and souls, hearts and minds; it goes beyond mere sexual attraction. sexual union is meant to be exclusive between the two persons; a total commitment of the partners. Saint Paul in his letter to the Ephesians 5:31 spoke of erotic love in the picture of what marriage means: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Romantic Love falling in love with someone through dating, going steady, to engagement cannot sustain a relationship forever in marriage it reappears to keep the marriage alive leads to solid mature love over time in good times and bad Pitfalls include infatuation and idolizing

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Nurturing Love fostering the good of the needy, poor, homeless, hungry, or helpless persons Starts with the belief that we are all sisters and brothers, so we treat each other as we would wish to be treated. It is a requirement for all Christians to nurture the weakest amongst us.

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Parental Love the affirmation of one’s children and the care and responsibility for them parents exercise their power for the good of the children – feeding, clothing, and shelter. Additionally parental love fosters children’s intellectual, spiritual, and emotional growth.

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Love of Nature caring for the earth and all of God’s creation respecting, understanding, and protecting the good of the earth loving the earth as we would love ourselves.

T YPES OF L OVE CONTINUED … Love of God “Those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love a God whom they have not seen.” (John 4:20) by fostering good in other people and creation we learn to love God.

L IFE S KILLS OF L OVING Knowledge of the other person. We try to understand the other person in depth so that we can respond to their needs. Practical Knowledge. We develop the skills and know-how that are useful in the ways we want to serve – whether in car repair, listening, or organizing a fundraiser. Flexibility. We are able to respond to changes in the other person or the relationship

L IFE S KILLS OF L OVING C ONTINUED … Conflict Resolution. We bring out in the open what bothers us in a relationship and try to resolve problems in a way that respects the value of each person. Patience. We hang in there with the other person through difficult times, and we respect the other person’s timetable for growing. Honesty. We are genuine in our caring and do not put on masks to pretend we are something we are not.

L IFE S KILLS OF L OVING C ONTINUED … Trust. We let go of our concern about constantly protecting our own interests in a relationship so that the other person can grow. Trustworthiness. We can live up to the other person’s trust in us. Humility. We acknowledge our real situation – our accomplishments as well as our limits and flaws – and recognize that we are like all human beings, no better and no worse. We treat others as dignified and deserving of respect.

L IFE S KILLS OF L OVING C ONTINUED … Hope. We are ready at each moment to foster new growth in a relationship and are open to new relationships without putting heavy expectations on another person. Courage. We have the courage to face the unknown – possible rejection, conflicts, separations, the death of the other, abandonment, and the day- today demands of working at a relationship. Forgiveness. We do not hold the other person’s hurtful behaviour or wrongdoing over their head. We talk to the person; then we go forward in the relationship with a generous spirit.

A V OCATION TO C ARE W E ARE MADE BY NATURE TO LOVE AND SEEK LOVE. T HE C HRISTIAN VOCATION, OR CALL, IS TO LOVE JUST AS G OD LOVES US.