Getting Bi in School

Pansexual/panromantic: attracted to people of all genders What is bisexuality? “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” -Robyn Ochs Bisexual/biromantic: attracted to people of more than one gender (or ‘same and different genders’) Pansexual/panromantic: attracted to people of all genders

I’m happy using both bisexual and pansexual. I refer to myself as pansexual – I feel less people know the term, so it opens up dialogue. I have more control over the label that way. I’m happy using both bisexual and pansexual. I’m asexual, so I use the bi prefix, but call myself biromantic. I use bisexual, as I’m attracted to non-binary people and women. As I’m very rarely attracted to men, pansexual doesn’t feel right to describe my experiences. I use bisexual because it’s got more of a political history. It feels like I’m reclaiming the label from negative stereotypes. I like the “same and other genders” definition – it allows for the “bi = 2” etymology without erasing non-binary genders.

My friend called me a breeder – the week after I miscarried. What issues do bi/pan people face? My colleague refuses to be in the same room as me in case I “come on to” him. I’ve had male colleagues joke about having threesomes with me because I’m bi. I’ve been told to tell people I’m gay because it’s “too confusing” to say I’m pansexual. I spent my teen years being told it was “a phase”/I’d “grow out of it one day.” I’ve been told that no respectable lesbian wants to date a bi girl – I’m dirty and will just run off with guys. My school only has a gay-straight alliance. I’ve been told I can join “as an ally.” I’ve been told my abusive relationship was my own fault for dating a man. My friend called me a breeder – the week after I miscarried.

Age Race Disablility Health Gender Young people patronised (“confused”/”a phase”) & deemed most at risk. Older people erased – lack of sufficient research. Race Compounding of existing racial stereotypes & white Western perceptions of sexuality/gender at odds with cultural ideas/identities need to “prove” sexuality for immigration/asylum purposes. Disablility Hypersexualisation of bi/pan people vs desexualisation of disabled people & lack of accessible community spaces. Health High rate of mental health problems & higher rates of breast/cervical cancer but biphobia from medical professionals = bi/pan people reported less likely to attend check-ups. Gender Fetishization of bi/pan women & erasure of bi/pan men. Erasure of NB people, or insistence that bi = binary. Poor/erasing stances of inclusion of trans people.

Surface level inclusion At Stonewall we've campaigned for 25 years for equality. We've had major successes with legalising same-sex marriage, repealing section 28 and lifting the ban on gay people serving in the military. But 99% of young gay people still regularly hear homophobic language in school, 100 homophobic hate crimes are reported to the police every week and 2.4 million people have witnessed homophobic bullying at work in the past 5 years. Lots done. Lots to do.

What would the ideal school for bi/pan students and teachers be like? How can we help? What would the ideal school for bi/pan students and teachers be like? What can you take away from this session to improve things in your school?