Principles of Parenting I: The Nature of Children and Role of Parents “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3) Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness...” Proclamation, ¶ 6

Proclamation Truths Nature of Children Created in image of God Beloved Divine nature and destiny Eternal individual identity Knew God Accepted His plan A “heritage of the Lord” Entitled to birth with bonds of matrimony Entitled to be reared by mother and father who honor marital vows Role of Parents Commanded to “multiply” Solemn responsibility to care for each other and children Sacred duty to: rear children in love and righteousness provide for physical and spiritual needs teach, love, service, obedience to God’s commands, and law- abiding citizenry Accountable to God

Comparative Views World Views Restored Gospel View Innately Evil Nature of ChildRole of Parent Blank Slate Innately Good Born Innocent Agent Accountable at age 8 “Beat the Devil Out” Wholly responsible for fate Let alone, don’t corrupt Teach right & wrong Provide example and environment for right choices

Understanding the Relationship of Nature and Nurture Academic Debate: Do Parents Really Matter? Judith Harris. (1998). The Nurture Assumption: It’s genes and peers, not parents. David Reiss. (2000). The Relationship Code: “Many genetic factors, powerful as they may be in psychological development, exert their influence only through the good offices of the family.” Restored Gospel Enlightenment Nature Nurture Biological and Spiritual Parental and Environmental Agency “Of course our genes, circumstances, and environments matter very much, and they shape us significantly. Yet there remains an inner zone in which we are sovereign unless we abdicate. In this zone lies the essence of our individuality and our personal accountability.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Understanding the Uniqueness of Every Nature/Nurture Relationship Elements of Variation Nature (child’s and parent’s) Structure (of Parent-Child Relationship) age, experience, legal status (i.e. biological, foster, step, adopted) Context (family and environmental conditions) Significance Equal is not identical Requires study and flexibility! “Study their disposition’s and temperaments and deal with them accordingly.” Brigham Young

Rearing Children in Righteousness “[O]ur children take their flight into the future with our thrust and with our aim. And even as we anxiously watch that arrow in flight and know all the evils that can deflect its course after it has left our hand, nevertheless we take courage in remembering that the most important mortal factor in determining that arrow’s destination will be the stability, strength, and unwavering certainty of the holder of the bow.” “Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made.” Jeffrey R. Holland “A Prayer for the Children,” Ensign, May 2003 “Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along…[and] govern their children by faith, rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and righteousness.” Brigham Young “Children are more influenced by the sermons you act than by the sermons you preach.” David O. McKay

The Greatest Righteous Example: Marriage/Parenting Correlation “One of the greatest things a man can do for his children is to love his wife and let them know he loves her.” Ezra Taft Benson Research points to the correlation between the quality of the parents’ marriage and the quality of their parenting. Researchers recognizing marriage as the ideal context for best parenting practices.

Help in the Hard Work of Parenting Perfect example of our Heavenly Father We are here to become like Him—both an end goal and the practicing process Divine Assistance They’re His and He’ll help; He gave them the gift of resiliency Atonement and Teachings of Jesus Christ Power of repentance and forgiveness Two sets of virtues—love and firmness Fair Judgment of our Stewardship Success True understanding of all circumstances and how hard we’ve tried