Biblical Foundations for Freedom Restoring Hope To Your Marriage Session #1 Biblical Foundations for Freedom www.foundationsforfreedom.net

What makes a great marriage? Can you identify the key factors? ________________________________ Commitment Care and love God’s standards and principles Humility to acknowledge wrongs Willingness to keep growing

Signs of Giving Up INSIDE OUTSIDE Lack of contentment Distracted by busy lives Little attraction in being with ones spouse Imagination flings (romantic novels) Bitterness or spirit of revenge Pornography and seductive movies Unforgiving spirit Flirting and marital affairs Disrespectful attitude of spouse Disrespectful words about spouse

Wrong! How Does Hope Help? Right?? I get married. My problems are solved! Wrong! Hope does not solve problems, but it does put us on the right track so that we can work out the big and small difficulties that we face in our marriages. How Does Hope Help?

Two Pictures of Marriage The Secular View The Biblical View God Wife Husband Wife Husband The Secular View This is the world’s concept of marriage–only a legally-binding contract between husband and wife. The Biblical View This is God’s concept of marriage–a God created covenant uniting a man and a woman before Him forever. In a church wedding, the couple meets at the altar with God to take their oaths. Marriage, however, is always before God and holds every couple accountable. This is the world’s concept of marriage–only a legally-binding contract between husband and wife. This is God’s concept of marriage–a God-created covenant uniting a man and a woman before Him for life.

The Marriage Trio Marriage truly is a triangle of relationships involving God, the husband and his wife. Governmental laws help protect the marriage.

God’s Design of Marriage Every marriage is spiritual in nature because of God’s declaration. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 In Mark 10:9 Jesus states that every marriage has been joined together by God. No person should treat marriage as a mere man-made union. “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (by Jesus) Mark 10:9 Marriage is essentially a spiritual entity. In order to have a great marriage, we must follow God’s design. Good marriages follow God’s design. Bad marriages ____________ God’s design. do not follow Mediocre marriages have not _____ embraced God’s design. fully

We safely can assume several things from the Bible. • God wants to build great marriages. • God has a way to restore a broken marriage. • God works with those who are listening to Him. • God leads us back by living by His design. We can assume several things from the Bible. • God wants to build great marriages. • God has a way to restore a broken marriage. • God works with those who are listening to Him. • God leads us back by living by His design.

Hopelessness Many times in your marriage you will face this “I give up” thought. It is not from God. You can be sure it is from the evil one. You can consider it a temptation. All of these statements support the main goal of the evil one: to make you give up ! Many times in your marriage you will face this “I give up” thought. It is not from God. You can be sure it is from the evil one. You can consider it a temptation. All of these statements support the main goal of the evil one: to make you give up !

A Marriage Building Project A Hope List List 3-4 areas in which you have lost the hope of bettering your marriage. How do you identify these areas of lost hope? Isn’t it too late? Do we all have areas of hopelessness? Isn’t it dangerous to focus on areas of discontent? A Marriage Building Project List 3-4 areas in which you have lost the hope of bettering your marriage. How do you identify these areas of lost hope? Isn’t it too late? Do we all have areas of hopelessness? Isn’t it dangerous to focus on areas of discontent? After you do this, you can add other areas in which you still do have hope to the original list.

Truth: Great Marriages Happen! Let’s look a four biblical principles that give us hope and confidence in our marriages. #1 God designed marriage (Genesis 2:18-22) Man slept. A God-sized job. Rib from man. Preserved man. (c) Specially fashioned woman So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man. (Genesis 2:21-22) (b) Animals not suitable And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:20) And brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:22) (d) Introduced her to Adam Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) (a) Some special need Truth: Great Marriages Happen! Let’s look a four biblical principles that give us hope and confidence in our marriages. (a) Some special need (b) Animals not suitable (c) Specially fashions woman (d) Introduced her to Adam. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:18-22) Fashioned woman. From man.

Truth: Great Marriages Happen! #2 God designed plurality: male and female (Genesis 2:23) And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.

Truth: Great Marriages Happen! #3 God designed oneness (Genesis 2:24) shall leave his father and his mother For this cause a man and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh The phrase ‘one flesh’ speaks to the relationship as a whole; sexual union is one special expression of this union. The phrase ‘one flesh’ speaks to the relationship as a whole; the sexual union is one special expression of this.

Truth: Great Marriages Happen! #4 God designed His glory to be revealed in marriage (Genesis 2:25 ) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. The two of them were as one. Totally transparent to each other. Not ashamed before sin. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Before the fall it seems that a glorious light emanated from Adam and Eve. After the fall God gave them clothes to cover their bodies and offered forgiveness.

Take Home Project Wait before discussing this ‘hope list’ with others. Confess any lack of hope in whatever area of your marriage. Ask the Lord to restore hope to areas of lost hope. Give God the opportunity to answer your prayer in His time and way. Share your list with your spouse only if asked. Take Home Project Each of us should have a develop an ongoing list of what hopes we have when we get married or what should happen in our marriage. These hopes and expectations become our goals. Restoration of marriages come about when we begin to see what God has planned for our marriages. Let’s discuss what we can do with that list. λ Don’t right away talk about your list of how your marriage could be better. Some of you might never have an opportunity to do this. λ When you have fallen into temptation to giving up, you need to confess your sin to God. It was not God who wanted you to doubt His plan. λ Ask the Lord to restore hope to the very areas that you have given up hope. It might be something so simple as your husband expressing his gratefulness for your hard work. Or it could be the ability to live with your selfish spouse in love and kindness. λ Give God the opportunity to answer your prayer in His time and way. We do this by telling Him and yourself what you want, why you think your marriage should have those things, and a willingness to do what is needed for it to be done including waiting a long time. Wives must not nag, hint or manipulate to get what they wish. Husbands must refuse to commandeer their wives into what they want. It is natural to want to share your list with your spouse. If your spouse asks to hear your list, then you are free to share it with him or her. If he or she does not ask, then just keep it between you and God. Remember you ‘two,’ God and yourself, are a team working together in hope. Each day you will seek Him for these things and watch out how He begins to accomplish this work.

Abraham: A Persevering Hope Romans 4:18-21 “In hope against hope he believed, in order that he might become a father of many nations, according to that which had been spoken, “So shall your descendants be.” And without becoming weak in faith, he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief, but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what He had promised, He was able also to perform.” God is a God of miracles. Change sometimes requires a long process. Hope assures a persistent faith. in Romans 4:18-21. They describe Abraham’s persistent hope. “In hope against hope he believed, in order that he might become a father of many nations, according to that which had been spoken, “So shall your descendants be.” And without becoming weak in faith, he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief, but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what He had promised, He was able also to perform.”

The Beauty of Marriage God still works miracles. God wants to work with us to build a great marriage. Marriage is grand by design. Due to sin marriage needs constant work. Even still, God wants to restore to us the full blessing of marriage. Following sessions help us work through different problems. Living by hope and faith are the key to building a great marriage. Building great marriages is a process needing time. It takes time because we need to be changed.