The Social and Emotional Characteristics of Gifted Children Sycamore Canyon School Presented by: Rachel Guyette Elementary School Counselor May 28, 2009

Challenges faced by Gifted Children Cognitive complexity can be paired with emotional intensity Perfectionism Perfectionism Underachievement Underachievement Friendships Friendships Stress Stress

Eight Great Gripes of Gifted Kids 1. No one explains what being gifted is all about- it’s kept a big secret. 2. School is too easy and too boring. 3. Parents, teachers, and friends expect us to be perfect all of the time. 4. Friends who really understand us are few and far between. 5. Kids often tease us about being smart. 6. We feel overwhelmed by the number of things we can do in life. 7. We feel different and alienated. 8. We worry about world problems and feel helpless to do anything about them.

Perfectionism Encourage your child to take risks and provide them with strategies to overcome their anxiety or apprehensiveness. Encourage your child to take risks and provide them with strategies to overcome their anxiety or apprehensiveness. Allow your child to see your imperfections and model coping strategies. Allow your child to see your imperfections and model coping strategies. Play games with no winners or losers or activities that are not graded or judged. Play games with no winners or losers or activities that are not graded or judged. Increase your awareness of the phrase, “Do your best.” Increase your awareness of the phrase, “Do your best.” Set realistic expectations. Set realistic expectations. Pursuit of excellence vs. Perfectionism. Pursuit of excellence vs. Perfectionism. Savor in past accomplishments. Savor in past accomplishments.

Underachievement How to foster an achievement oriented child Value academic tasks: Encourage your child’s interests and foster multiple opportunities for them to explore passions and be challenged. Value academic tasks: Encourage your child’s interests and foster multiple opportunities for them to explore passions and be challenged. Self worth: Build their confidence level and provide specific compliments that focus on effort. Self worth: Build their confidence level and provide specific compliments that focus on effort. Environmental perceptions Environmental perceptions Self regulation: Teach time management, study skills, coping strategies, and personal standards. Self regulation: Teach time management, study skills, coping strategies, and personal standards.

Stress Practice physical relaxation exercises such as belly breathing, stretching and visualizing positive images. Practice physical relaxation exercises such as belly breathing, stretching and visualizing positive images. Create rituals for relaxation activities such as taking a bath, listening to soothing music, drawing, writing in a journal, or taking a walk. Create rituals for relaxation activities such as taking a bath, listening to soothing music, drawing, writing in a journal, or taking a walk. Role Play stressful situations. Role Play stressful situations. Be in tune to how you are handling your stress in front of your child. Be in tune to how you are handling your stress in front of your child. Respond with empathy and provide a few choices or strategies to calm down. Respond with empathy and provide a few choices or strategies to calm down. Be flexible, accepting, encouraging and patient. Be flexible, accepting, encouraging and patient.

Friendships Difference You are alone In your long exploration Of the world of difference. Yet, as the light consoles the darkness And the flame consoles the desolate wick, So a friend brightens the darkness in your heart And makes life a joy 8 year old Jessica Bloom From the Davidson Institute for Talent Development.

Friendships Connect with other GATE students Connect with other GATE students Academic Summer Camps Academic Summer Camps Engage in after school activities that build friendships. Engage in after school activities that build friendships. Help your child build bully resistance skills Help your child build bully resistance skills

GATE RESOURCES BOOKS: When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers By: Jim Delisle, P.h.D. and Judy Galbraith, M.A. When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers By: Jim Delisle, P.h.D. and Judy Galbraith, M.A. The Colorado Handbook for Parents of Gifted Children By: Colorado Association for Gifted and Talented The Colorado Handbook for Parents of Gifted Children By: Colorado Association for Gifted and Talented The Gifted Kids Survival Guide By: Judy Galbraith, M.A. The Gifted Kids Survival Guide By: Judy Galbraith, M.A. Stress Can Really Get on Your Nerves! By: Trevor Roman and Elizabeth Verdick Stress Can Really Get on Your Nerves! By: Trevor Roman and Elizabeth Verdick Perfectionism: What’s bad about being too good? By: M. Adderholdt-Elliott Perfectionism: What’s bad about being too good? By: M. Adderholdt-Elliott Once Upon a Mind: The Stories and Scholars of Gifted Education By: Jim Delisle, Ph.D. Once Upon a Mind: The Stories and Scholars of Gifted Education By: Jim Delisle, Ph.D. Managing the Social and Emotional Needs of the Gifted By: Connie Schmitz and Judy Galbraith, M.A. Managing the Social and Emotional Needs of the Gifted By: Connie Schmitz and Judy Galbraith, M.A. Guiding the Gifted Child By: James Webb, Elizabeth Mackstroth, and Stephanie Tolan Guiding the Gifted Child By: James Webb, Elizabeth Mackstroth, and Stephanie Tolan The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids By: Sally Yahnke Walker The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids By: Sally Yahnke Walker Websites and Articles: How Not to Talk to Your Kids The Inverse Power of Praise By: Po Bronson How Not to Talk to Your Kids The Inverse Power of Praise By: Po Bronson