Ageing without Children Kirsty Woodard Founder

The statistics Only data on women is recorded so figures are only based on 50% of population 20% of women born in the 1960s have no children 11% of women born in 1940s have no children by 2030 there will be 2 million people aged over 65 without adult children, up from 1.2 million in 2012 Estimates by European academics Male lifetime childlessness is highest (above 23% among men aged 45–49) in Finland, Italy, Germany, the UK and the Czech Republic.’ Dutch research estimates 10% of women actively choose no children 10% are medically infertile and 80% are childless by circumstances not of their choice.

Definitions Childfree – made a positive choice not to have children Childless – wanted children but was unable to have them Other people who regard themselves as ageing without children include people – who had children who subsequently died – are estranged from their children – have children who live a long distance away Attitude to entering later life without children varies depending on whether was own choice Irrespective, practical issues remain the same

The survey “It’s a constant battle to get any help for my mum even though she’s in her 80’s and has dementia!! I feel like I am always having to shout really loudly to get anywhere. I wonder, who will be shouting for me? or will I be the old lady dying alone in a hospital bed because no one cares?”

Key findings Biggest fear (92 respondents) was having no one to speak up for them or act in their best interests when they could no longer do so for themselves 65 were worried they had no one to call on in emergency 78 feared being lonely and losing their peer group 50 were afraid they would be abused or neglected Other major issues were; help with practical tasks (36), being unable to afford care (24), end of life care (24), poor care from the NHS (20)

“Nobody to speak up for me when I cannot speak up for myself - especially where healthcare is concerned. My mother died recently, aged 93, and had she not had me she would not have got anywhere near the level of support from doctors, social workers, carers etc, as she did. “I will have no-one to look out for me and my interests when I become frail, as I am currently doing for my father who has been diagnosed with dementia. The 'system' is not geared to doing this it assumes there are family members to do this” when I am old, there will be no-one to do for me what I have done for her, I will be at the mercy of the system and the random decisions of people who, even if they do their best, cannot possibly care at the same level as a relative/loved one “ You hear terrible stories of abuse at care homes - often it is only exposed because the children or grandchildren become concerned and are able to prove that it's happening ” If I have to go to a nursing home I will not have an advocate to make sure I have what I need and that I am safe and well cared for.

Someone to help care for me if I can't do it myself - the speak for me, truly understand what I want, to pick through the 'system' and make sure it works for me. Advocates - to help individual older people navigate health and other areas of life. When people talk about children caring for elderly parents, it is all the small pieces of support that are so important, not whether they end up living together with the child caring for the parent. Critical issues for older people include financial planning, retirement planning, health considerations, guardianship and decision making if lose the capacity, housing considerations, care and support in the community and in care. For people with no children, planning around a number of these areas are not as straightforward No such much hands-on care (which it can be arranged that I pay for) as advocacy, championing me, and being sure to have my best interests at heart. not having an advocate on my side when I might have to go into hospital. That is for me a very scary prospect as I think people on their own without family are very vulnerable when they go in the NHS.

What AWOC would like Government planning on ageing needs to take into account the increasing numbers of people getting old without family support. Local authorities need to identify how many people in their area are likely to age without children and incorporate this into their strategies on ageing. GPs, hospitals and social care services should identify people without family at an early stage to ensure they are not left without help. There should be investment in advocacy services that can speak up for people without children There needs to be investment in intergenerational programmes so that people ageing without children are not cut off from other generations. Everyone should be given advice to help them make plans for their later life that take into account what will happen if they do need care or lose capacity to make their own decisions. There should be a national strategy for people ageing without children that brings together individual people ageing without children along with national and local Government, the NHS, housing providers and key bodies from civil society

“Who will do all the things I currently do for my ageing parents, from helping them overcome the terror of dementia, to buying their clothes to standing up for them when they are being ignored in hospital. And who will hold my hand and tell me they love me when I'm dying?”

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