Handling Aggressive Situations Don’t Panic!

Reassurance Serious incidents are very rare at the Contact Centre You are not alone – that’s why we always work in a team

Aggressive Incident Model

Trigger Phase Event or Situation triggers aggressive response One thing or an accumulation Sometimes hidden from us – from nowhere May seem disproportionate to trigger The thing to remember is not to worry about what has triggered the response but just to be aware that someone is reacting aggressively. For instance, a parent may make a comment and the other parent goes ballistic – the comment in itself may have seemed of no significance but there will have been a history to how the parents interact with each other which you will know nothing about.

Escalation Phase Stress and frustration increase Calming measures needed Feelings, emotions, attitudes and posture important Can’t “explain” until feelings relieved Recognize and acknowledge feelings Early intervention can break the cycle Removing the parent from the immediate environment eg take to another room or area. (Make sure you are not on your own, do not close any doors behind you and think about your own exit strategy if things get out of control i.e. Make sure the parent is not between you and the way out! Calm but confident words will help. Start to ‘reflect’ back to the parent what they are saying, what emotions they are displaying, ‘mirror’ their posture if possible eg if they sit down, come down to their level. Do not worry about trying to ‘solve’ the problem – at this stage the parent is likely to respond to reassurance. i.e. On a very superficial level they recognise that you are ‘on their side’.Don’t make promises that you cannot keep about what you will do. Throughout this, be aware as much as you can of your own feelings and accept that you may be feeling anxious etc. Tell the parent gently if they are beginning to make you anxious. Use statements beginning ‘I am feeling..’ avoid ‘you are making me feel....’

Crisis Phase Physical, emotional and psychological expression Communication difficult Personal safety of self and others paramount The person has reached a point of ‘no return’. Commonsense and rational thinking usually have gone out of the window by now! Once a response has been triggered it can be like a row of dominoes going down. The person is likely to be experiencing physical changes which drive the behaviour. It may be a well worn cycle that they go through. Trying to reason with someone or discuss the problem at this point at best will be ineffective or at worst could result in you becoming the object of their anger. Very clear, firm instructions to the parent as to what they must do with no emotion (if possible) are needed. At this stage people often respond to clear and firm instructions because they are usually aware at some level thta they are out of control and having someone giving simple instructions can be reassuring and reduce their anxiety that everything is out of control.

Recovery and Depression Phases Agitation decreases Anxiety lessens Communication becomes possible Beware return to crisis phase Try and get the parent away from anything that might trigger the cycle again. Continue to reassure, show understanding. Do not start to try to sort problem out. Remember you are still dealing with someone who is going through a cycle of behaviour and it is this that needs dealing with now. The external problems are for another time, another place and another person!

Attitudes to Avoid 1 I can handle any situation- If a situation is not going well, maybe a colleague can handle it better. Do we ask? If not, why not? Heroes are definitely not required! Telling the parent you are going to get someone who will be able to help them more/better communicates that you recognise their need, that you are taking it seriously and you are not a threat/challenge to them.

Attitudes to Avoid - 2 I must have the last word Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile – fear of losing the argument Verbal attack is okay I know best – no compromise When someone is in a heightened state of physical arousal through anger, chances are they will be stronger and less inhibited than you! This is not a battle that needs to be won – and you didn’t choose it ! So don’t engage in it!

Attitudes to Avoid - 3 I MUST stand up to him/her I MUST never run away I MUST not show I’m afraid I MUST always remain calm Beware of the “I MUST…” The person is not all-powerful and they are not interested in you at all. They are probably frightened and this is their ‘fight or flight’ response. So what you think and feel is irrelevant to them. Be yourself as much as you can.

Talking to an Agitated Person Try to calm the individual’s ager – Use active listening Acknowledge problems Show genuine concern Give reassurance and offer support This has been covered in some of the previous notes. Look at this photo and think about how you might respond to this face about 12 inches from your face! What would calm him down and what would inflame him. Try to imagine yourself with that expression – can you remember a time when you felt like this!! If so try and remember what it was like and what were helpful and unhelpful responses from other people.

Talking to an Agitated Person 2 Problem solve when calmer – Summarise the complaint/grievance Try to work it through with them Problem may be irrelevant, but if accepted they see you as trying to help The Centre is probably not the place for the problem to be solved. If you don’t know how to help, state that but say you will pass the concern on to someone who will be able to help or who can direct them to someone who is better qualified to help. Ask them if they know someone who can help, for them to come up with their own answer, giving them some responsibility back an also give them back a sense of their dignity.

What to Say Talk in a controlled way – clearly and reassuring Avoid provocative phrases, e.g. “Don’t be silly!” Ask for a particular behaviour Block irrelevant challenges, e.g. “You’re too middle class” – “May be true, but doesn’t mean we can’t sort this out” See some of the previous notes. Remember, you have just as much right to be who you are as they do – they are no less a person and no more a person than you.

What to Say 2 Personalise yourself – move away from “role” Depersonalise the issue – it’s not you that’s to blame Ask the person to respond in due course – “I’ll be back in 5 minutes and I’d like you to…” Again, be yourself.

Non-Verbal Be calm, but not too calm – can seem indifferent Reflect the person’s physical position, without mimicking Normal eye contact Don’t square up – stand at an angle Allow a larger personal space Try and communicate that you not feeling agitated or feeling that the situation is getting out of control. (even if you feel your knees are knocking!). Often the person is partly wanting someone to help them out of where they have got themselves emotionally and by displaying calmness gives them something to copy. Imagine you are leading someone to safety out of a forest where you know the paths but they don’t.

Concluding Remarks Take personal responsibility for your own safety Back your own judgement Be aware of your own feelings and aggression Talk to colleagues Look through this training again Always talk through what has happened with a colleague. It is usually a good thing to write down what has happened, partly to help yourself make sense of what happened but also to pass on to colleagues for information or, if there was a major incident, there will be a clear record of your view on what happened. Above all – don’t take an incident personally. Their behaviour may not be acceptable and may be upsetting but they know nothing about you so it is not a reflection on you in any way. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Know what you can do and what you can’t do!

Finally.. Don’t worry – it probably wont happen!