Revision and Peer Review Micki Fryhover Summer 2010

In Learning by Teaching, Donald Murray states:  “writing is rewriting” and that most writers see this task as “part of the territory“ and is simply part of the process.  this is the part of the process that is the least taught and is probably the most important part. Students are seldom introduced to the “serious art of revision” and the “opportunities” revision brings.  writing courses should have “one central purpose: to allow the student to use language to explore his world.” One way our students explore language is through revision, and by finding that perfect word or phrase that says exactly what they want to say.

Fran Lehr says: “Although Donald Murray (1982) argues that writing is rewriting, students often see revision not as an opportunity to develop and improve a piece of writing but as an indication that they have failed to do it right the first time. To them, revision means correction. Revision, however, is the heart of the writing process – the means by which ideas emerge and evolve and meanings are clarified.” So, our job as teachers is to help transform our students from “correctors to revisers.”

1. Created a “Superstition” One Pager 2. Read the teleplay “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street” by Rod Serling (Twilight Zone) 3. Watched the Twilight Zone episode 4. Designed a “My Maple Street Monster” flip book 5. Read the first several pages of The Princess Bride movie script 6. Wrote a one page detailed opening setting 7. Watched a short video clip about revision 8. Peer review/revision

 Create a “Superstition” One Pager  Watch the “Monsters are Due on Maple Street” Twilight Zone episode  Create a “Monster” flip book  Look at the Princess Bride movie script online  Write a one(ish) page very detailed opening setting of your own version of Maple Street  Watch the short revision video clip  Peer review/revision

My Maple Street Monster My Monster’s Name My Monster’s Talents/skills Where My Monster is From My Monster’s Description My Monster’s Picture

The Princess Bride Take time to carefully read and notice how the writer establishes the scene/setting, as well as describing and directing the characters.

 Choose the location for your own version of “Maple Street” and write a one page detailed setting (including stage/camera directions). Be as descriptive and as detailed as necessary to provide an adequate picture of the scene.  Remember: you are describing the scene before any major action begins! You may include some dialogue as you describe your setting.  Note, note, note this well! Your setting details must be specific enough so that your set builders will know what to build (or can find the appropriate location) and what props may be needed!  Be creative and don’t be afraid to show your mad writing skills!!!!

 You will be graded based on the following criteria:  Content  uses descriptive words to adequately provide a word picture of the scene  provides detailed information as to objects and people in the scene  provides details of time to indicate specifics such as historical period, the season, weather  provides details of place to indicate specifics  gives stage directions for people in the scene that are precise and provide sufficient information related to movement or action  Required Format  stage directions are [bracketed] or in (parentheses)  setting and stage directions are written in the third person and in the present tense  CAMERA DIRECTIONS ARE CAPITALIZED  paper is neat and legibly written or typed

 Peer review IS NOT the same as editing (looking for mistakes to fix)!  Peer review IS:  looking at each other’s work, and helping our peers find ways to make their writing better.  asking questions that will help you understand your peer’s work in order to give constructive feedback  making suggestions that will help peers improve their ideas, organization, clarify what they want to say, etc.  giving helpful feedback that will help peers reflect on their writing  helping your peers focus their revision efforts by telling them what is working in their writing and gently making suggestions for improvement

 You will be given some sticky notes to use to write your comments on. PLEASE do not write on your peers’ drafts!  You will exchange papers with at least 3 peers  You WILL NOT write/say any hurtful comments!! We are working to help each other improve our writing, not trash each other!!  You will have a checklist of criteria that you are looking for to help guide your feedback  Ask questions (think aloud) as needed if you don’t understand what you’ve read. If you don’t get it, no one else will either.

Does this setting include [stage directions) and CAMERA DIRECTIONS? Can you visualize (see) the setting that is being described? Are there enough details to help you picture the setting in your mind? What may be missing? What may be distracting? Do the stage directions make sense? Do they provide enough information? Do they move the action along? Does the setting have clear details of time and specifics such as historical period, the season, weather, time of day, etc. Do you have any questions you need to ask for clarification?

 Lehr, Fran. Revision in the Writing Process. ERIC Digest. ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading English and Communication  Murray, Donald M. Learning by Teaching. Boynton/Cook. (1982)