Feedback on Essays September 2010

Supporting evidence Importance of supporting each of your points with ‘hard’ evidence YOU must take responsibility for researching evidence Not enough to say “ a recent study” or “research shows” – state where it comes from. Don not have ONLY media – based research

Supporting evidence (cont’d) Stephanie is not PROOF of something being the case Don’t say “it could be that….” this is speculation. Too many showed little evidence of independent research and gave me back what I gave you.

Structure Mostly very well done Intro should set out clearly the points you are going to prove Use PEEL – remember to LINK the point Back to the question Leave enough time for a developed conclusion Balance – mostly well done

Structure (cont’d) Don’t overdo the theories at the expense of the ‘evidence’ in class and exam essays Make sub-conclusions at the end of each point (“and so, it can clearly be concluded that…”. You will do this if you remember to PEEL) Always write in formal prose and not first person “I think…) Don’t use ‘hyperbole’ i.e. over the top wording – “huge” “extreme”, “doomed” –these all suggest an opinion. YOU ARE A NEUTRAL REPORTER.

Remember…. Having been given this advice, you MUST carry it forward into your next essay!