S OUM B UDDY A CTIVE L ISTENING Darlene Grant CD Jennifer King PCMO Linnea Trageser PCMO

A CTIVE L ISTENING People only hear and absorb 25-50% of what is said to them. Being a good listener takes training and practice In order to be an effective Soum buddy it is necessary to become a good listener Active listening is a set of techniques that can be learned, practiced, and utilized in Soum Buddy conversations

S TEP O NE - A TTENDING Attending means you are actively paying attention Look at the speaker directly and make eye contact. Clear your head of distracting thoughts. Don't be mentally preparing what you will say next. Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. Pay attention to the speaker's body language. Don’t engage in side conversations

S TEP O NE - A TTENDING Show That You're Listening Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention. Nod occasionally. Smile and use other facial expressions. Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

S TEP O NE - A TTENDING How might “attending” be made more difficult for Soum Buddies?

S TEP O NE - A TTENDING What can we still do on the phone?

S TEP T WO –F EEDBACK Our “hearing” is distorted by Our personal filters Our assumptions, Our judgments Our beliefs Your role as Soum Buddy is to attempt to understand what is being said. This may require giving and receiving feedback until both parties feel understanding is achieved.

T ECHNIQUES FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Asking Questions Closed Questions that have only a yes or no answer Examples Open Questions that require the Soum Buddy to give a more detailed answer Example Which type is more likely to facilitate understanding?

T ECHNIQUES FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Paraphrasing Restate the message you heard Usually with fewer words Try and get more to the point. This tests your understanding of what you heard. It communicates that you are trying to understand what is being said. If you’re successful it indicates that you’re beginning to understand the basic message. Examples

T ECHNIQUES FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Clarifying Brings vague material into sharper focus. Untangles unclear or wrong listener interpretation. Obtains more information Helps the speaker see other points of view Can begin with phrases I am confused I am hearing a lot of information Can I get more information about… I’m not sure if I understand Examples

T ECHNIQUES FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Perception Checking Request verification of your perceptions. Check out your assumptions Can begin with phrases Let me see if I’ve got it straight. I think I hear you saying… It seems as if you feel… Examples

T ECHNIQUES FOR GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Empathy Your personal reflection of content and feelings Shows that you’re understanding the speaker’s experience Allows the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else Can begin with the phrase You feel (state feeling) because (state content) Examples

S TEP T HREE - S UMMARIZING Summarizing Organizing and integrating the major aspects of the dialogue. Gives a sense of movement and accomplishment in the exchange Can sometimes establish a basis for further discussion. Can begin with the phrases I am hearing a major theme You seem to have two main points You keep coming back to a few key issues Examples

R OLE P LAY Divide into groups of three Read scenario and role play One person is speaker One person is listener One person is observer and provides feedback Try doing this back to back to simulate phone conversation The listener should try to determine the speaker’s main concern/s The goal is not to be confusing or obstructive to the listener Once the speaker is comfortable he/she has been heard change roles New scenario from neighboring group or make one up Present a scenario to the whole class

T HANKS FOR BEING A GOOD SOUM BUDDY